| Chapter 25 Brian stood outside the door to Lyn's office. He could hear her talking as she got everyone connected for the teleconference that he called the day before. Ted was in with her, and they were waiting on him to come in. Brian knew everyone was connected. He could hear them talking with each other. He took a deep breath and said a quick prayer, then entered the room. "I'm telling ya man, they are driving me nuts!" A.J. said, rather exasperated. Everyone laughed. "I have to say that you started it," Sarah reminded him. "Yeah man, don't dish it out if you can't take it," Howie said. "D, bite me," A.J. retorted. "Now boys, that's not nice," Jackie said, reminding them there were parents on the line. "Sorry Jackie," A.J. apologized. Brian smiled at Lyn and sat down next to her. He cleared his throat, letting everyone know he was there. "Hey guys," he said, "I guess you're all wondering what's up." "Yeah cuz, we haven't called a group meeting in a while," Kevin said. "I know," Brian said, "But I need to tell you all something, and this was the easiest way to do it." "Honey, what's going on?" Jackie asked, hearing the apprehension in her son's voice. Brian had to take a breath. Just hearing his mom's voice cut him to the core. He knew how much what he had to say would worry her, and he dreaded it. Lyn reached over and took his hand in hers, "Do you want me to tell them?" Brian shook his head, "No, I need to do this." "Bri, you're starting to scare us here. What's wrong?" Howie asked. "Well, you know when you guys were here and I was really tired for a few days?" Brian started. He heard several replies of �yeah'. "Well, after you guys left I started having other symptoms," he said. "What kind of other symptoms?" Harold asked. "I was getting dizzy a lot, and my blood pressure would be low, but then my heart would be racing. So anyway, Lyn convinced me to let Ted run some tests," he said. "So what'd you find out?" Kristin asked. Brian held Lyn's hand tightly as he mustered the strength to say the words. "Um, I have another hole in my heart," he said, unable to keep his voice from breaking. Lyn wrapped her arm around his shoulders as the shock went through the group. "Son, what are they doing for it?" Harold asked. Brian took a deep breath, "They can't do anything for it." "Brian, what does that mean? Are they just gonna leave it for a while like they did the others?" Kevin asked. "Um, no. That means that it's beyond fixing," Brian said in a soft voice. "Surely there has to be something they can do for it," Kira said. "Well, they are doing something," Lyn said, "Brian's been put on the transplant list." "Wait a sec, did you just say he was on the transplant list? As in a heart transplant?" A.J. asked. "Yes Alex, that's what I said," Lyn replied. "Oh baby," Jackie said, unable to keep the tears at bay. Brian winced, hearing his mom break down. "Mom, I'm gonna be OK, really," Brian said, trying to reassure her. "Wait a minute," Howie said, "Bri didn't you just have tests run a while back? How come none of this showed up then?" "Because it wasn't there then," Brian answered, "This is something that has just recently developed." "But Bri, if it developed that fast, and it's that bad, how long can you wait?" Kevin asked before he even thought about what he'd said. Brian glanced at Ted, not sure how to answer the question. Kevin slapped himself on the forehead, "Oh shit Bri, I didn't mean it that way." Brian smiled, "I know Kev, it's OK." "Guys, Brian's condition is serious," Ted said, "But he has a good chance of getting a heart. He entered the list at number two. So that means he's the second person to receive a heart once one is made available." "So how often are they available?" Kira asked. "Well it really depends," Ted said, "You see, when someone dies that is an organ donor, there is a rather lengthy process before the organ is actually harvested. You have to get permission from the family, then there is the testing that has to be done, then the actual harvest. Certain elements all have to match perfectly. The size of the heart has to be in ratio with the person's body, the blood type, all that comes into play. So it could be tomorrow, a week, a month, we just don't know." "Ted, if Brian doesn't get one in the next few weeks, how long can he really wait?" Harold asked. "I can't give you a positive time table on that. But I will say that it needs to be as soon as possible. The damage has occurred so quickly that the longer we wait, the more at risk he becomes," Ted said. Brian looked down at the table. He knew what Ted was saying, he'd already been told this, but to hear the deafening silence on the other end of the line was one more thing that made it real. As long as it was just him and Lyn, he could handle it, but now, now everyone knew. "Brian honey, do you need anything?" Jackie asked. Brian cleared his throat, "Um, no not really. Lyn and Ted are taking good care of me." "Do you need us to come up?" Harold asked. Brian knew this question was coming, "No Dad. There's nothing to do but wait. As soon as I get beeped and we get to the hospital Lyn will call and let you know. She's sending one of her planes down to be ready to fly at any time so you won't have to worry about getting a flight out. Most likely you guys would be here before they even take me in for the surgery." "Lyn, you really don't have to do that," Jackie said. "Yes I do," she said, "I know how hard this is on you. I just want to make it as easy as possible. The piolet has instructions to go from Kentucky to Atlanta to pick Kev and Howie up, then to come here." "What about us?" A.J. asked. Lyn laughed, "I haven't forgotten about you. I have a small jet on standby in LA for you guys." "Thank you," Sarah said. "Bri, do Nick and Tara know?" Kevin asked. "No they don't, and you guys can't tell them until they get back," Brian said. "Where are they?" Jackie asked. "Um they had to leave on personal business, and they can't be reached right now," Brian lied. "Bri are you sure? We could send someone to ....." Howie started. "No D, it's not necessary. I'm doing fine, and it can wait," Brian said. "What about the tour?" A.J. asked. "Yeah Brian, have you told management about this?" Kevin asked. "No, I was kinda hoping ...." Brian said. Kevin rolled his eyes, "OK, I'll call them for you." "Thanks Kev," Brian said. Ted looked at his watch, "Guys I hate to but I have to run. If any of you have questions, please don't hesitate to call me, OK?" "We will Ted, thank you," Harold said. Ted nodded to Brian and Lyn and left the room. "Brian, you're sure you're OK?" Howie asked. "Yeah, I'm really fine. I get a little tired now and then, but I don't feel any different otherwise," he answered. "Honey, you call us if you need us," Jackie said. "I will mom," Brian said. "Take care son," Harold said. "I will. I'll call you tomorrow OK?" Brian said. "Alright, love you," Jackie said through her tears. "Love you," Brian said, hearing the click of them disconnecting. "OK the parents are gone right?" A.J. asked. Lyn laughed, "Yes Alex, they are." "OK, I'm sorry but I just need to say this," A.J. started, "What the fuck could've happened to make this that bad? I'm mean, Jesus fucking Christ, have you not been through enough already!?" Brian bit his lip trying not to laugh at his friend. He knew A.J. was beyond worried about him, and this was his way of expressing it. "I don't know A.J., it just showed up," Brian said, coughing a few times to hide the laughter. "They have no clue as to how it happened so quickly?" Kevin asked. "No Kev, they don't," Lyn said. "Are you sure you don't want us to get Nick and Tara?" Howie asked. "No. Listen guys, whatever happens you CANNOT send for them. I will not risk their safety, you got it?" Brian said. "But what if ....?" Kira asked. "No. Please, just don't even entertain the thought. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them because of me," Brian said, "Now everyone promise me they won't send for them." The line went silent. "Promise me!" Brian yelled. "Alright man, I promise," A.J. said. "Sarah?" Brian asked. "I promise," she said. "Bri, we promise," Howie said, speaking for Kira also. "Kev?" Brian asked. Kevin sighed so loudly everyone could hear it, "Alright, I promise." "That goes for both of us," Kristin said. Brian looked at Lyn. She looked down, remembering her promise to Tara to send for them if they needed them. "Lyn, please," Brian said. She sighed almost as loudly as Kevin had, "I promise." "OK guys, I'm getting a little tired so I'll let you go," Brian said. "Bri, you call if you need us," Howie said. "Yeah man, anytime, day or night," A.J. added. "I will guys. I'll talk to you soon," he said. "Bye," Howie and A.J. said together. "Bye guys, "Lyn said, disconnecting their lines. "Kev?" Brian asked. "Yeah I'm here," he said. "I do have a question for ya," Brian said. "What's that?" Kevin asked. "Well, when I came in A.J. was telling bout his protectors messing around with him. Mom and Dad didn't hear that did they?" Brian asked. Kevin laughed, "I think Sarah slapped him before he got to much out. He said that he had a couple of �friends' staying with him." "Oh good, cause I wasn't exactly sure how I was gonna explain that to them," Brian said. "I still can't believe they don't know. You should really tell them sometime," Kristin said. "I know. It's just that as soon as I did, I know mom would never look at Nick and Tara the same. She would .... well I dunno, but you know what I mean?" he asked. "Yeah. It's the same reason I don't tell my mom," Kevin said. They all laughed, then the line grew silent. "Kev, I know you're worried, but don't be," Brain said, "I can fight this. I've to got to much to stay here for not to," he said, squeezing Lyn's hand. "Brian, you're my family, I'm gonna worry wether you like it or not," Kevin said, "But I'll try not to be so overly protective about it." Kristin laughed. "I said I'd try," Kevin told her. Brian snickered, "Well, thanks. I'll remind you of that when you're bugging the hell outta me to." "OK man," Kevin said. "I'll talk to you soon," Brian said. "Alright, you take care," Kevin said. "I will, bye," Brian said. "Bye," Kevin and Kristin said together. Brian reached over and disconnected the last line. Lyn looked at him, "Well, you did it." He nodded, "Yeah." "How do you think they took it?" she asked. "Well, I'm sure mom and dad are devastated, but we'll never see it. They will remain the strong ones, no matter what," he said. "Sometimes I think parents think they have to be," Lyn said. "Yeah, but I know how hard this is on them. I was little the first time, but I still remember it. I remember mom sitting next to the bed praying for hours at a time. I still don't know how she had the strength to get through it, and now she's faced with it again," Brian said, getting up and walking over to the windows, looking out at the ocean. Lyn got up and stood next to him. She could tell he was fighting with his emotions, and she really didn't know what to say to make it better. She pulled him into a hug, holding him tight. "Bri, don't hold your emotions in. It's not good for you," she said. He rested his head on her shoulder, letting a few tears fall. "It's just not fair," he whispered, "No parents should be faced with outliving their children." Lyn gently rubbed Brian's back, soothing him, "I know." "I don't want to leave you," he said so softly she almost didn't hear him. She could feel her own tears as they trailed down her face, "I don't want you to either." Brian pulled away from her, turning back towards the windows, "This wasn't suppose to happen. We were suppose to have until we were old and grey. This just isn't fair!" Lyn watched as Brian tried desperately not to break down, and failed miserably. She pulled him down to the floor and held him as he cried. She knew when it finally hit him that it would be hard, but she never imagined that it would feel like her own heart was falling to pieces. It pained her to see Brian so upset, and she had no way to take his heartache from him. All she could do was hold him as he wailed. Each time he asked why, she felt another shard of her heart break. She tried to be strong for him, tried not to break down with him, but it was impossible. *Tracy watched as Brian and Lyn clung to each other. Both were crying uncontrollably, letting all the anger and fear they had been holding inside out, in one painful outpouring of tears. William looked at her, his own tears threatening to break free, "There's nothing we can do for them?" Tracy shook her head, "We can only be here for them." William brushed away a stray tear, "I don't see how you do this everyday." Tracy sighed, "I don't. Not all life is filled with pain, there is joy too." William looked at the two, "Will they find joy again?" Tracy shook her head, "I don't know."* Chapter 26 |