| Chapter 48 Nick sat straight up in bed and looked around. He fought to catch his breath and calm down. The nightmare had been awful. He dreamed of confronting Aleisha, and everything that could have gone wrong did. Angel looked at him, cocking her head from side to side. "I'm OK, just a bad dream," he told her. She whined at him, then jumped off the bed and padded over to the door, looking back at him. "You need out?" Nick asked. Angel whined again, pawing at the door. Nick laughed, "OK, I take that as a yes." He got up and walked over, unlocking the door and letting her out. He started to turn around and go back to bed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Instead he headed downstairs, in search of something to drink and some peace of mind. Nick walked down the hall past the kitchen and into Brian's office. He looked over the shelves until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed the book and went into the kitchen. Taking a bottle of water out of the frig, Nick sat down at the table and opened the book. He hadn't been much for reading the Bible, but he knew he needed some guidance. He didn't really know where to look, so he closed his eyes and flipped to a page. He looked down reading; So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them, Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41: 10-13 Nick sat there staring at the words. That was exactly what he needed to hear right now. He took a drink of the water and started to flip to another page, when he heard something behind him. He turned around to see Aleisha standing in the door. "Hey, I didn't wake you did I?" Nick asked, closing the book. "No, I woke up and thought I would check on you. When you weren't in your room I came down here," she said. "Oh," Nick said, feeling a little tense, but letting it go. "What are you doing?" she asked, taking a bottle of water out of the frig, and joining him at the table. "I was having trouble sleeping, so I came down here. I found this in Brian's office, I didn't think he would mind if I looked through it," Nick said. Aleisha looked to see what the book was. Nick caught a glimpse of something in her eyes. He couldn't tell if it was sadness or contempt. Aleisha looked at him, "So you read that?" Nick looked down, "Not like I should. I don't know a lot about it, but that's something I'm gonna change." "Why do you feel the need to?" she asked. "It's not that I need to, it's that I want to," he replied, "There's just something about it. Like I came down here really troubled, but I opened it to a spot and read some, and now I feel a lot better about things." "Really? Just like that?" Aleisha asked. "Yeah," Nick said, looking at her. "Must be nice to be comforted like that," she said, playing with her bottle cap. Nick stared at her, for the first time seeing true sadness in her face. "Leish, you can be too, ya know," he said. She looked up at him, "I don't think so." "Yes you can. I used to think that too, like I was to far gone to even be worthy of God's time, but it's not true. He takes you as you are, you don't have to change to be worthy of his love, ya know," Nick said, seeing an opportunity he'd not thought of before. She stared at him for a moment, "Why?" "Why, what?" he asked. "Why does He do that? Accept a person like that, knowing how much of a screw up they are," she said. "Because His love is unconditional, that's why," Nick said. She shrugged her shoulders and looked back at the water bottle. "Leish, you should really talk to Brian about this. He knows a lot more than me," Nick prompted. She shook her head, "No, I don't feel comfortable talking to him about this." "Well, I can try to help. If I don't know something, I'll find out for you," Nick said. Aleisha looked up at him, seeing how sincere he was. It made her heart melt. "Nick, you wouldn't understand," she said. He reached out and took her hand, feeling the affects of it, but only for a second before they subsided, "You could try me. I might surprise you." She laughed, "Maybe some other time." "Leish, I can see that whatever this is, it hurts you," Nick said, "Don't wait until it's to late to resolve it." She looked at him, thinking. She couldn't risk him finding out and her losing him, not now. "I can't," she said, pulling her hand away from his. Nick watched as she got up and put her half empty bottle back into the frig. "Leish, as long as there is breath in you, you always have a chance with God," he said. She looked at him for a moment, then waved as she left the room. Nick slumped on the table, resting his head on his arm. He was trembling but he didn't understand why. He no longer feared her, instead he felt sorry for her. He could see she was tormented by what she was, and that in turn, concerned him. Nick raised back up and rubbed his eyes. He knew that he was going to have to rethink his plan. He wasn't sure if he could go through with it now, not after seeing her tonight. "God, please help me figure this out. If there is a way to get through to her, please help me find it," he prayed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aleisha went back upstairs and into her and Brian's room. She crawled into bed, laying on her side and staring at the wall. What was Nick doing to her? She almost considered telling him everything! She sighed, knowing that eventually his memory would come back and he would know. She just hoped that she would have him by then, at least then he couldn't leave her. Aleisha looked out the window, seeing the stars in the sky. What if what Nick said was true? What if she could ask God for forgiveness and everything be alright? Not in all of her life had she entertained the thought. Now, Nick had her brain doing overtime. She never really understood why her feelings toward him changed as they did, but she was glad for it. She couldn't imagine how he could care for her, not after what she'd done to him. Even if he couldn't remember it, she did, and now every time she looked at him, her heart ached. This was the first time in her life she'd felt remorse over anything she had done. She hated the feeling, it ate at her with every breath. She rolled over, still looking out the window. "Are you real?" she whispered. Just then a star fell from the sky, streaking across the night. She watched it until the light flickered out, then sighed and closed her eyes. "What if..." she thought, as she drifted to sleep. Chapter 49 |