| Chapter 15 Nick walked into his room and locked the door. He sat down on the bed and thought about what Leighanne had said. Ever since he had known Brian, Brian had always prayed and had a strong belief in God. Nick never really understood it, but Brian always seemed to have an inner strength and happiness that he attributed it to. Leighanne also had that same inner happiness and strength. Nick looked out the window, it was dusk now and another storm was approaching. Nick thought back through the past few years. When he had faced crisis in his life he would almost always fall apart. When Brian faced the worse crisis in his life, he was happy and had a since of peace about him. Brian had told him that God always carried him through the rough parts of his life. But how do you believe in something you can't see, and don't really know if it exists? Nick asked himself. Then a memory of a conversation he had with Brian came back to him, "It's called faith Nick, it's the belief in things unseen." Brian had always been happy to share his belief with Nick, but he never forced it on him. But how do I even start? Nick thought. Then another memory of Brian, "He's my friend, I talk to him like I talk to you." Nick took a deep breath and closed his eyes, Hi God, it's me Nick. Nick Carter. Um, I'm not really sure how I should do this. I need to ask for help, for Brian and Kevin. Brian's been gone for so long now, please keep him safe. And Kevin, there's something going on there too, I don't know what it is, but please help him too. I don't think I've talked to you since I was really little, and I'm sure that you're very busy up there, but I don't know what else to do. I see Leighanne and all that she is dealing with right now, and she still has faith. I don't understand that. Can you help me to? Another memory of Brian came into Nick's mind, "You ask Him to forgive you of your sins, and He does just like that." Brian had said with a smile. Tears were rolling down Nick's face, God, is that really all you have to do? It seems so simple, that can't be all there is to it. "But it is Nick, all you have to do is ask, and God takes care of the rest." Brian had said. Nick sat there afraid that he was somehow going to lose something, then another memory. "Nick you don't give up anything, but you gain everything! Just because you believe in God doesn't mean that you can't have fun. Look at me, I'm the king of having fun! I haven't lost a thing!" Brian had said. All I have to do is ask, huh? He could hear Brian's voice in his head, "Yes Nick, all you have to do is ask!" Nick was gripping the side of the bed trying to keep from trembling, he took a deep breath. God, please forgive me. I'm sure I haven't been your favorite person in the past, but please forgive me. Help me to have that inner peace that Brian and Lee have. The tears were flowing down Nick's cheeks. He could feel a warm since of peace all around him, he was suddenly filled with happiness. His tears turned from tears of worry and sadness, to tears of immense joy. He suddenly had a feeling that everything was gonna work out. He didn't know how, but he knew that God did. Nick immersed himself in his emotions, he had never experienced anything like this, and he didn't want to miss any of it. Nick ran through the gauntlet of emotions. He was suddenly remorseful for things he had done in the past that had hurt others, then he was filled with joy. He had finally found what he had been searching for. He had exhausted his emotions, and came back to himself. Nick had not slept in days, and he felt it. He laid his head on his pillow, tears still streaming down his face. Nick closed his eyes, Thank you God! He was soon asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tara had been waiting in Brian's room for about an hour when they wheeled him in. He was still groggy from the antisteshia, and was hooked up to several monitors. The orderlies placed Brian in his bed, and situated all the monitors around him. As they left the room the doctor came in. "How's he doing?" Tara asked. "The surgery went fine. The bullet had bounced around and had cut a couple of tendons, which is probably why he has no use of his arm. Those will heal in time." the doctor said. "And?" Tara asked sensing there was more. "The bullet ended up in the upper portion of his right lung. That is why he was coughing up blood." the doctor answered. Tara nodded her head as she looked at Brian. "What about his infection?" she asked. "That is what concerns us the most now. There is evidence that it has spread throughout his body, much like a staff infection will. We have him on some high powered antibiotics, and we are monitoring his organ function. But given his past medical history, he's not out of the woods yet." the doctor said. Tara looked at the doctor, "Thank you." she said. "Tara, a lot of the thanks goes to you. If you hadn't found him when you did, and pulled him out he wouldn't be here right now." the doctor said extending his hand. Tara blushed and shook the doctor's hand. The doctor turned and left the room. "He's right you know," Brian said weakly. Tara looked down at Brian and smiled. "How much of that did you hear?" she asked. "Enough to know he's right," Brian said. "Actually, I think it's the other way around. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here," Tara said staring at Brian. Brian smiled and took Tara's hand, "Let's just say it was mutual." Tara pulled a chair up next to the bed and sat down. "Thanks for not leaving," Brian said. "Brian, I told you I wouldn't. When are you going to believe me?" Tara said with a laugh. Brian started to laugh and stopped, it hurt to much. "I'm still sleepy," Brian said as he yawned. Tara stood up and pulled the blanket up around Brian's shoulders and straightened his pillow. "Go ahead and sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," she whispered. Brian smiled and closed his eyes. Tara sat back in the chair and watched Brian sleep for a while. She was feeling the need to sleep herself. She got up and dropped the bed rail on her side and pushed the chair right up next to the bed. She grabbed the extra blanket the nurse had left, and reclined the chair. She reached over and grabbed Brian's hand, the she drifted off to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kevin was sitting in his room. He couldn't sleep, he was worried about his doctor's visit in the morning. Why did I say I would let him hypnotize me? Kevin asked himself. His head felt like it was going to explode. Kevin got up and walked over to the window and sat down. The storm was raging in the distance. Kevin's mood reflected the storm. There was something inside him fighting to get out. Kevin wasn't sure he wanted it to. He was torn by his emotions. One minute he was worried for Brian, the next he was angry and he didn't know why. He thought about calling Kristin, just to hear her voice would make him feel better. But it was much to late, she would already be asleep, and he didn't want to wake her. He decided to do the only thing he could. God, help me. There is something wrong here, and I don't know what it is. I feel like I'm coming apart! Please help me fight whatever this is. I'm afraid that if I don't fight it, it will somehow take me over. I know that sounds crazy, and maybe I am, but that's how I feel. Please give me strength to fight it. Please send me some help! Kevin looked back out the window. He let out a deep sigh, Brian was out there somewhere in that storm. A tear escaped his eyes. Kevin sat in the window seat and let his emotions go. He finally cried himself to sleep. Chapter 16 |