| Chapter 1 Brian sat in his hotel room completely stunned, How could someone be so messed up? he asked himself. This was just the latest in a series of letters threatening his life, and with each one the detail became more vivid. Brian had at first not told anyone, thinking maybe it was a sick joke. But as they showed up one by one he relented that it could be serious and told the management team; which in turn informed security. Brian had still not told any of the guys, they just thought the stepped up security was there new management being a little paranoid. There was no use in getting the guys worried if it did turn out to be nothing. Brian did tell Leighanne. She was his only sounding board when he got one. The phone rang, and Brian had to stop himself from letting out a scream. God, am I jumpy or what? "Hello", Brian said. "Hey baby, how are you?" Leighanne asked. She could tell something was wrong by the sound of Brian's voice. "Oh, I'm OK. I got another one today...." "Sweetie, it'll be OK," Leighanne reassured him. "Have they got any leads as to who it might be yet?" "No, not yet, but security is always close. Its just starting to wear on me I guess." Brian said with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry baby, I wish I could be there, this movie role really came at a bad time." "It's OK hun, I'm just felling sorry for myself I guess. I keep wondering why they picked me--you know I'm just the �boy next door'. I'm not the wild one, or even the cute one." Brian said with a laugh. Leighanne laughed. There was a knock on Brian's door. "Lee, I gotta go; it's time to go to the venue." "OK, baby, I love you." "I love you too, bye." Another knock on the door came as Brian hung up the phone. "I'm coming!" Brian yelled. Brian walked over to the door and looked through the pep hole. It was Mark, his security guard. "Hey" Brian said as he opened the door. "Hi Bri, its time to go, you ready?" asked Mark. "Yeah, just let me get my bag" Brian said as he turned around to pick it up he saw the letter laying on the bed. "Oh yeah, Mark I got another one for the collection." Mark walked into the room and took the letter from Brian's hand. He opened it and as he read a concern crossed his face. "Brian, this is the worst one yet." "Yeah, I know. I'm trying to forget it." Brian said with a less than convincing smile. "Well, I'll get it to the security director" Mark said. "Thanks" Brian said. "You ready?" "Yeah, lets go." said Mark. The two left the room and walked down the hall toward the elevator. OK, Brian thought to himself, I gotta get into concert mode here. If the guys see me in this mood they'll know something's going on. The car ride to the venue was a short one. Brian took that time to pray and calm his nerves. Upon arriving Kevin was first one to see him. "Hey cuz" Kevin said. "Hey Kev, where's the dressing room at?" Brian said, trying hard not to sound like he was trying to get rid of Kevin. "Its down the hall on the left" Kevin said with some concern in his voice. "Cuz, you OK?" he asked. "Um, yeah. Why do you ask?" Brian said trying to sound matter of fact. "Oh, no reason I guess." Kevin answered, trying to figure out just what his little cuz was hiding. Brian turned from Kevin and headed down the hall towards where he had said the dressing room was. He could feel himself loosing his composure and he didn't want anyone to see him like this. Brian walked right by Nick and A.J. without saying a word, and went straight into their "quiet room". The "quiet room" is an area that is set up for the boys at every venue. It is a secluded area away from all the commotion, where the guys can go for some privacy before a show. Brian sat down on the couch and made sure that no one had followed him in before he finally let himself break down. Why am I letting this get to me? God help me please, I don't want anyone to find out and they're going to if I don't get a grip. Brian continued to pray as he sat on the couch trembling with tears flowing down his face. Brian didn't hear Howie come in the room. Howie noticed that Brian was upset, and quickly left before he saw him. Howie walked up to A.J. and Nick who were completely involved in a video game, and had never noticed Brian come in. "Hey guys, what's wrong with Brian?" Howie asked. "Brian's here?" Nick said not taking his eyes off the game. A.J. looked at Howie, "What do you mean, what's wrong with him?" "Well he's in the �room' and he's really upset, I walked in and saw him, but he didn't even notice I was there." Howie said. "I dunno" said A.J. "but lets go find Kevin, maybe he knows something." Kevin was talking to the stage manager when he saw Howie, A.J. and Nick coming down the hall. "Hey Kev, we need to talk to you." Nick said. "Sure, what's up?" Kevin said feeling pretty confident that this conversation was going to be about Brian since he was the only one missing. "Do you know why Brian is upset?" Howie asked. "Brian's upset?" Kevin said, "No, I don't. I mean he was acting kinda funny when he got here, but no I don't. Where's he at?" "He's in the �room'", A.J. said. "Well, why don't we all go in there and find out what's going on?" Kevin suggested. The others agreed, and down the hall they went to confront Brian. Brian had managed to stop crying, but hadn't got a grip on the trembling when the guys walked into the room. "Hey Brian, what's going on?" Kevin asked in that fatherly tone of voice he gets sometimes when he is trying to be reassuring. Brian was startled by the question and the fact that all the guys were just standing there staring at him, waiting for an answer. "Umm, nothing." Brian said trying to put some levity in his voice. "Brian, you can't say nothing is wrong" Howie said, "I saw you in here crying." Damn it, I don't want to explain this right now! "Guys its just something that I have to deal with on my own" Brian said, hoping that would be explanation enough. "Brian, what is it, maybe we can help" Kevin said looking his cousin in the eye with that �you can't fool me' look. Brian suddenly found his shoes very interesting. "Is it Leighanne?" asked Nick. Brian looked up from his shoes and saw all the guys staring at him with genuine concern. "No, its not Lee. There are just some things that I have to deal with, that's all." A.J. suddenly got a panicked look on his face and sat down next to Brian and grabbed his arm, "Rok, are you sick? You can tell us man, where here for you." "No, A.J. I'm not sick." Brian answered, truly touched by his friends concern. Brian closed his eyes, and took a deep breath slowly letting it out. He opened his eyes and looked at his friends. "Listen guys, its really close to time to start getting ready. I'm fine, but if we have to have this conversation, lets have it after the concert. OK?" Brian said, relenting that the subject was going to be discussed whether he wanted it to or not. "All right, after the concert." Kevin said, "but we're holding you to it Bri, after the concert." "OK, we better go get dressed" Howie said, putting an end to this session of Brian's interrogation. ~~~~~~ The concert went really well. Brian actually forgot about his letters and the impending conversation and really had fun. It was beginning to seem like the performances where the only time he really felt alive and safe. He could forget about his life and just concentrate on giving a great performance. But now the concert was over, and it was back to his life as it had become; full of paranoia and tension. Brian didn't like feeling like this, but no matter what he did the feelings never went away. The fear of walking around a corner and someone being there, or someone being in his hotel room just never eased. Even the added security did little to comfort him. Maybe this conversation he was about to have was for the best. The next concert wasn't for two days so the guys had time after the concert to take advantage of the venues facilities. This meaning to take a shower before they left, which was a rare occurrence. Usually, they would have to do a �quick out', which meant that immediately after the concert was over they would be rushed to their buses and on their way to the next venue. Brian was glad he had this time to compose his thoughts. He knew all the guys had long since got their showers and where waiting on him, but he took his time in the shower. Letting the water flow over him, almost as if it was washing away all the fear and tension that he had been holding inside for so long. "Hey Brian!" Nick yelled, "Are you still alive in here? Come on man we're all waiting on you." "OK, I'll be out in a minute." Brian said with a sigh. I guess the stalling is over. With a heavy sigh, Brian turned the water off and got out of the shower. He dried off, and put on his favorite Kentucky sweatshirt and pants, brushed his hair, grabbed his bag and walked out. The guys had decided to meet on Brian's bus and send the rest on. Mark was waiting for Brian inside. "Brian, all the guys are on your bus, you ready to leave?" asked Mark, knowing Brian didn't really want to. "Yeah, are there any fans still here?" Brian asked, not really in the mood to have to stop and sign autographs. "I'm sure there are a few die hard fans out there, but we'll rush you out" Mark said. "All right, lets go." Brian said, feeling very comfortable in the fact that Mark would play the bad guy to the fans. He hated not giving the fans his time when they had waited so long to see him, but this night he just couldn't. Mark and Brian left the building and walked toward where Brian's bus was parked. There were probably twenty fans still waiting, but Mark grabbed Brian by the arm and pulled him through with no problem. They reached the bus and climbed the stairs inside. Brian stepped into the bus to find all the guys sitting in the common area waiting on him. They looked kind of impatient that it had taken him so long, but there was also a look of concern, knowing that something was wrong to have gotten Brian so upset in the first place. Brian handed Mark his bag and asked him to go into his bedroom and wait while he and the guys talked. Brian waited until Mark got into the bedroom and closed the door before he started to speak. "Guys, I need to tell you what's been going on for the past three weeks, but please just let me talk OK?" The guys looked around at each other and agreed that they wouldn't say anything until Brian was finished. Brian took a deep breath, "Guys, for the past three weeks I've been getting death threats. At first I thought it was a joke, but they just kept coming. That is why we have so much security. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you guys to worry about it, but lately they have been so terrible that I just can't handle it anymore. I'm completely paranoid now. I don't know how whoever is sending them knows where I am all the time. Even when we change our itinerary the letter still shows up. This person knows my hotel room before I do. They know what restaurant I'm eating at. They know everything that I have done all day, where I went, who I talked to, everything!" Brian began to tremble at the thought of what he was saying, he quickly found a seat, and tried to calm himself so he could finish. "Management and the security team are doing all they can to find out who this person is. But I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my mind before that happens. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore." Brian finally looked at the guys to show them that he was done. He could see the shock and anger all over their faces. It was a few minutes before any of them found their voices. "Brian why didn't you tell us sooner?" Kevin said with some anger in his voice. "We're family Brian, we can help you through this, you know that." "I know," said Brian, "but I didn't want to worry you over something that may turn out to be nothing." "Brian, death threats are not nothing." Howie said. "Brian, I can't believe that you hid this from us, I thought that we were closer than that." Nick said. Brian could tell that Nick was really hurt that he didn't tell him. They were best friends, and best friends aren't supposed to hide things from each other. A.J. sat quietly for a moment and then asked, "Have they looked at our crew and staff? I mean if this person knows where you are all the time it would have to be an inside job wouldn't it?" "Yeah," Brian conceded, "it does look like it could be one of them. Security had been watching them close, but so far there aren't any matches." "What about Leighanne?" Kevin asked. All the guys stared at Kevin not knowing what he meant by that. "What do you mean Kevin?" Brian asked with some tension in his voice. "Oh, no. Not that she is behind this, what about her safety?" Kevin said trying to clarify himself. "Lee, has extra security just like all of you, but the letters are directed exclusively toward me, no one else." Brian said. "Brian, what do these letters say?" Howie asked, wondering if he should have. "I really don't want to say, they just describe how this person wants to torture me and kill me in great detail, the security director has them." Brian said trying not to remember the things in the letters. Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath, When will this be over, I just want to be alone right now. "Guys, I'm really beat. I'm gonna go to bed." Brian said standing up and heading toward the bedroom. The guys looked at each other and realized that the conversation was over, there questions and ponderings would have to wait. "Brian, we'll have the buses met and get off, unless you want us to stay?" Kevin said. "Naw, you don't have to stay, I'll be fine, go sleep in your own beds." Brian said as he opened the door to his bedroom. Mark got up from watching TV and walked past Brian toward the guys. Brian went in and closed the door. The guys sat there in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. They sat like that until the buses met at a rest stop. They got off and went to their respective bus still in silence. Chapter 2 |