| Prologue It's been a week since Nick woke up. He and Tara have been working all day, everyday on his training. He was doing much better at being around everyone, able to keep his emotions under control. But Lyn had become a distraction to him. He wanted desperately to hold her, touch her, and he still couldn't. Tara had warned him time and again that he could hurt her until he got his feelings under control. That he didn't want to do, so in frustration he and Lyn settled for a platonic relationship until he could get a grip on his abilities. Kevin had been called by the studio, they'd had an error on the master of the Boys new cd, and needed them to come back into the studio to redo some of the songs. Nick had heard this and asked if he could come back to the group. Of course all the guys were wholeheartedly for it, but Tara had reservations. She knew the hard work Nick had cut out for him, and she also knew how hard it was for the guys when they were in the studio and then on the road. She was concerned that Nick wouldn't be able to handle all of it at once. Nick pleaded with her to let him try. He missed being with the guys, and making music. So Tara conceded and let him, warning that if it got to be to much, that she would have no choice but to take him out of the band again. Nick promised that she wouldn't have to make that choice. Brian and Kevin worked on a story to tell the press as to how Tara was back. They came up with one they thought would fly. After using it on their management, and getting complete understanding and support, they decided it would work. Brian released a statement to the press saying that because of threats made toward him and his family, Tara had faked her own death to draw the person out into the open. It was handled by private security, and the police nor the FBI were involved in the capture of the person making the threats. Only Brian and the �security team' knew of the farce, and he apologized to the fans for the lie. He ended the statement saying that everyone was alright, and that he was glad it was over, so he could get back to his life. MTV aired the statement several times an hour for the first day it was out. Much to Brian's relief, it seemed to work. The fans were calling in their support, going online and leaving heartfelt messages for Brian and Tara. They both hated lying to all the fans, but there was no other explanation for her being there. Also, Nick had released a statement about his hearing. With Ted's help, he had stated that due to a breakthrough in his treatment, that he was now able to hear, and that he would resume his place with the guys on the next album and tour. The label was excited about all the buzz regarding the guys and wanted to get the album out as soon as possible. The guys asked to work in the studio in town, so they wouldn't have to travel back to LA just yet. The label agreed and sent everything down to start the re-recording. And so it begins............ Chapter 1 The guys were in the studio, working on redoing a few of the songs. They'd been there all morning, each taking his turn at the mic. It had taken them a while to redo the harmonies, adding Nick's voice back in. Everyone had taken their turn but Nick. The producer was ready for him, "Nick, go in and get set." Nick got up off the couch and went into the booth. He was happy to be back in the studio recording again. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed it until they walked in and started to work. He grabbed the headphones and put them on, looking over the music once more. "You ready?" the producer asked. Nick nodded his head, and listened as the music started to play in the headphones. He began singing, closing his eyes as he did. In the back of his mind, he was fighting with his emotions. He had forgotten just how much of himself he put into the music, and now he was struggling with it. Tara was sitting in the control room with the guys, listening. Nick's voice sounded better than she'd ever heard it, but she was getting worried. She could feel his emotions, and knew he was having trouble keeping them in check. She touched Brian's arm, "He's having trouble." Brian looked through the window at Nick, just as the window started to shake. "Oh no," he said, grabbing one of the techs and pulling them away just as the window shattered into a million pieces. The glass rained down on the board, and into the booth with Nick. Nick pulled the headphones off and jumped back as the glass flew into the booth. Everyone ran into the booth to check on Nick. "Man, are you OK?" A.J. asked. Nick was brushing the shards of glass off his shirt, "Yeah, I'm fine." "What just happened?" Kevin asked, looking at the mess. Tara glanced at Nick, and he returned the look. "Must've been faulty glass," Tara said, as the producer came up to them. "Is everyone alright?" he asked. They all said they were. "Well I have no idea what just happened, but I can say that we're done for the day," the producer said, "We'll start first thing in the morning, and I'll make sure this doesn't happen again." Everyone grabbed their stuff on the way out, glad to have the rest of the day off. They made their way out to the cars. "Nick, you sure you're OK. That was an awful lot of glass flying around in there," Howie asked, concerned. "I'm fine," Nick said, getting into Brian's car. Tara could tell he was upset with himself. She started to get in the car when Kevin pulled her aside. "He did that didn't he?" Kevin asked. "Yes he did," she answered. "But how?" Brian asked, walking up to them. "Guys, he hasn't learned how to control his emotions yet. Not like he should anyway. You know him, he sings with everything he's got. He's gonna have to learn to hold back a little, or the studio is gonna be buying new windows for all the booths," Tara said. Kevin and Brian glanced at each other. "Guys can we leave now?" Nick asked from the car. He knew they were talking about him, and he didn't like it. "Yeah, coming," Brian said, taking Tara's hand and walking to the car. "See ya'll tomorrow," Kevin called, turning and heading to his own vehicle. Brian and Tara got in the car. Tara turned to face Nick in the back seat. "I know," Nick said before she got a word out, "I need to hold back." Tara smiled, "Yes you do." "But that's how I'm used to singing. How am I suppose to change that?" Nick asked, frustrated. "It's not that you have to change it, you just have to control it," Tara said. Nick crossed his arms and stared out the window. He was entertaining second thoughts about getting back with the guys. Maybe Tara was right when she said that he couldn't do both. "Nick, don't give up. It's only been a week," she said. Nick smiled at her, she always knew the right words to say to encourage him. Brian started laughing and they both looked at him. "What's so funny?" Nick asked. "I was thinking. You know those opera singers that hit the high notes and break the glass?" Brian said. "Yeah," Tara said. "Well Nick can do that now anytime he wants," Brian said, laughing. Nick and Tara looked at each other. "And why is that so funny?" Nick asked. "I don't know. I just think it is. I could see you having a contest with one and blowing them outta the water," Brian said. Nick shook his head and laughed a little, the things Brian could think up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lyn was sitting on the couch reading a magazine when Nick, Brian, and Tara got home. She had wanted to go with them, but knew as in everything else that she would distract Nick. "Hey, you guys are home early," she said, laying the magazine on the coffee table. "Yeah, minor accident at the studio," Brian said. "Accident? What happened?" she asked, concerned. Nick sat down next to her, "Me." Lyn looked at him, he looked so frustrated. "What happened?" she asked. "I lost it and shattered the glass that separates the booth from the control room," he confessed. "Is everyone alright?" Lyn asked. "Yeah, I just. I don't know how I'm supposed to hold my emotions back when I sing," Nick said. Tara put her hand on his shoulder, "You'll learn. It's just gonna take time." "Yeah but we're in the studio now. I don't have time," Nick said. Tara looked at him as only a patient teacher would, "You will learn. Now relax for a little bit. I'll get us all some lunch, then we can work on a few things." "OK," Nick said, pulling his coat off and sinking down into the couch. Brian went with Tara to the kitchen, giving Nick and Lyn some time to themselves. Lyn wanted to comfort Nick, but didn't know how. He looked so lost and confused, and upset. "Honey, you'll get it," she said. Nick smiled at her, "I'm glad one of us thinks so." "Nick, what does it feel like?" she asked. He stared into her eyes, "It's confusing and overwhelming, but at the same time it's peaceful and exhilarating." "Wow, no wonder you're having trouble keeping it in check," she said. Nick sighed, "Yeah, I guess I can't expect to know everything in the span of a week." "No you can't. From what Tara has said, it will take a long time to learn all that you have to," Lyn said. "I guess I'm gonna learn patience after all," Nick said, smiling. Lyn laughed, "Yeah, that's one way to look at it." Nick glanced at her, "How are you doing with all this?" "I'm alright," she said. He smiled at her, "You're lying." Lyn looked away from him, "Is that one of your abilities or is it just that obvious?" "A little of both I think," Nick answered, "What's wrong?" Lyn sighed and looked up into his blue eyes, "I guess I'm just feeling frustrated too. I know that I distract you from your lessons, and me being here is hard on both of us." "Lyn, I want you here," Nick said. "I know, but am I really helping you by being here?" she asked. Nick reached out to take her hand, then stopped himself. "See, we can't even touch each other," Lyn pointed out. Nick looked down, concentrating on his emotions, pulling them into check. He looked up at her, "Let me try. I promise I won't hurt you." "Nick, are you sure you should do this?" she asked. "Please let me try," he said. Lyn glanced around the room, wanting him to so much, but also afraid to let him. Finally she held her hand out for him to take. Nick reached out and gently took her hand in his. He concentrated on not letting his emotions overtake him. He slowly noticed that he could feel what Lyn was feeling. It was an amazing feeling, and he let his guard down a little, sharing some of what he felt with her. Lyn gasp at the rush of emotions flooding her. But took them all in, never feeling anything like it in her entire life. Her heart was racing and her breath ragged. Nick took notice of this and let go. Lyn looked at him, overwhelmed with emotion. "I didn't hurt you did I?" Nick asked, seeing the tears in her eyes. She shook her head, "No, it was just very overwhelming." "I'm sorry, I must've let to much go," Nick said, mentally kicking himself for doing that to her. "No, I'm fine. It was just like nothing I've ever felt before. I guess I'm gonna have to get used to that feeling," she said. Nick looked at her concerned, "It wasn't bad was it?" "Oh no, it was very good," Lyn said, blushing a little. "Oh," Nick said, turning red himself. Tara and Brian came back into the room. "Lunch is ready," she said, looking from one to the other. "Did we miss something?" Brian asked. Lyn and Nick both smiled, "No," they said. Tara raised her eyebrow at them, "Uh huh, right." Nick got up, "Man, I'm starving. What are we having?" Brian laughed, "Soup and sandwiches, and you're changing the subject." They all walked into the kitchen, finding their places at the table. "Nick was able to hold my hand for a second," Lyn said, knowing that Tara and Brian weren't gonna drop it. Tara looked at Nick, "You did?" He smiled and nodded his head. "That's great," Brian said, feeling happy for them both. He knew how frustrating it must be for them, to love each other as much as they did, but not be able to show it. Tara said nothing, instead, sitting down and beginning to eat. Nick could tell she was upset with him, but he wasn't exactly sure why. "Tara, did I do something wrong?" he asked. She looked up at him, "No, you didn't. Eat your lunch, then we'll talk." Nick could feel Brian's and Lyn's eyes, darting back and forth between him and Tara. He hurriedly ate his lunch and he and Tara went to the exercise room to continue the training. Nick walked in the room and turned to look at her, "OK, spill it." Tara shut the door and motioned for him to sit down. Nick sat down on the floor, waiting. Tara sat across from him, looking up at him. "Nick, you shouldn't have done that with Lyn," she said. "Why not? I didn't hurt her," Nick asked. "Nick, you very well could have, and still can. Your emotions are as much as weapon right now as anything. It only takes a second to go from being harmless to causing pain," she said. Nick looked down, "I'm sorry. I didn't know." "You need to listen to me when I tell you these things. I've been through it all Nick, I know what I'm talking about," Tara said sternly. Nick silently wished there was a hole he could crawl into. "I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm saying it to keep you from hurting yourself or anyone else," Tara said, taking his hands in hers. Nick looked up, seeing the compassion in her eyes. "It's just really frustrating, ya know. I love her so much, and I can't even touch her without being afraid I'm gonna hurt her," Nick said. "I know, that's something we need to work on," Tara said. "Now?" Nick asked, hopeful. Tara laughed, "A little. We need to work on your control, so we don't have a repeat of today in the studio." "Oh OK," Nick said, disappointed. "Nick, control is the key to everything. When you get control, you will be able to be with Lyn and not have to worry about it," Tara said. Nick looked a little more excited about the lesson, "Well, let's get to it then." Chapter 2 |