| Chapter 67 Nick woke up and looked around. Brian was standing in front of the window with his back to Nick, everyone else was gone. Nick watched Brian for a minute, he could tell that he was crying. "Brian?" Nick finally said. Brian hurriedly wiped his face with his sleeve and turned around. He walked over to the side of the bed and looked at Nick, "You need anything?" "No," Nick said, "Are you OK?" Brian smiled, "Yeah, why?" "Cause you've been crying. Did something happen while I was asleep?" Nick asked. Brian shook his head, "No. Lyn took everyone to the house so they could get some rest. They should be back in a few hours." Nick stared at him for a moment, "Bri, that still doesn't answer my question." Brian looked down at the floor, not wanting to talk to him about it. Nick sat up in bed and put his hand on Brian's shoulder, "I know what you're doing, and you need to stop it." Brian looked at him, "Stop what?" "Stop blaming yourself for this, it's not your fault," Nick said. Brian tried to fight the tears, but they came anyway. He brushed them from his face, "Nick, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for me!" "Brian, you know that's not true. You had nothing to do with the decisions that I made. I put myself here, not you," Nick said, "I'm the one that came here. I'm the one that ignored the fact that I was getting sick, and I'm the one that sat outside all day making it worse. You didn't have anything to do with this." "But I'm the one that put you here," Brian said. Nick shook his head, "Brian, you didn't make me come here, and you surely didn't make me sick. So please stop blaming yourself." "I can't help it. I just keep thinking that I did this to you, and it's killing me inside," Brian said. Nick grabbed Brian and pulled him into a hug that he couldn't get away from. "Brian, I don't blame you for this. This happened for a reason, and in a way I'm glad it did. So, stop feeling like you did this to me, cause you didn't," Nick said. After a few minutes Nick finally let Brian go. Brian looked at him a little confused, "What do you mean that you're glad this happened?" Nick took a deep breath and looked at him, "I know it sounds weird, but everyone is with the person they're suppose to be with. And if all this hadn't happened, they wouldn't be. The only thing that I hate is how this is gonna affect the group." "Nick, you don't need to be worrying about that right now," Brian said. "Yes I do. I know we were suppose to go back to the studio next month, and now I'm not gonna be able to," Nick said. "That's a long time from now, things might change between now and then," Brian said. Nick shook his head, "Brian, things aren't gonna change. I know this is permanent, and I can deal with the fact that I'm gonna have to find something different to do with my life. I just don't want this to stop the rest of you." "Nick, we've always said that we weren't a group without all of us," Brian said. "I know, but you're gonna have to go on recording without me. There's nothing I can do with the group anymore, you four are gonna have to be the group from now on," Nick said. Brian stared at him for a long time, knowing what he was saying was true, but not wanting to admit it. "We'll see when that time gets here," Brian finally said. Nick laid back down and looked at him, "When were they coming to take me for the tests?" Brian looked at his watch, "In a couple hours." Nick nodded his head, "I'm really tired." "Well go back to sleep, and I'll wake you when they come," Brian said. "You gonna be OK now?" Nick asked. Brian smiled, "Yeah, I'll be fine." Nick smiled back at him, then closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tara got up from the couch and walked over to the windows. The moon cast a silver glow over the ocean. She stood there watching the waves for few minutes. Then something caught her eye. She looked down on the beach, Lyn was sitting there, wrapped in a blanket. Tara decided to go out and talk to her. She made her way through the house, careful not to wake anyone. She grabbed her coat on the way out, and walked down to where Lyn was sitting. "Lyn, do you mind if I join you?" she asked. Lyn looked up, then shook her head. Tara sat down and stared out at the ocean, not sure what to say. "Tara, I don't know what to do," Lyn said. "About what?" she asked. "Nick," Lyn said, looking over at her. "What about him?" Tara asked. "I just feel like I'm useless. He's going through this awful thing, and I can't help him," Lyn said. "But you are helping him," Tara said, "Just by being here for him, and loving him." "Yeah, but I just feel like I should be doing something more," Lyn said. "I think we all feel that way," Tara said, "It's hard to see him like this." Lyn looked at her, "You're not blaming yourself for this are you?" Tara looked down, "Some....well, yeah, alot actually." "Don't," Lyn said, "I know Nick doesn't blame you." "How do you know?" Tara asked. "I just know. I can see it in his face when he looks at you and Brian. There's no blame there at all, just love," Lyn said. "Lyn, did he tell you what happened between us?" Tara asked. "He told me some, the rest I just figured out on my own," she answered. "So you know that he came here to get away from me and Brian," Tara said. "No, he came here to sort out his feelings. Not to run away from his best friends," Lyn said. "But how do you explain what he tried to do, and the letters that he left?" Tara asked. "Let me ask you something. When you did it, what where you trying to do?" Lyn asked. Tara thought for a moment, "I was trying to figure out how to live the rest of my life, and it seemed that things would be better if I just disappeared, so in that one moment, I made the decision that ended everything." "Exactly, in a moment of weakness you acted. Just like Nick did," Lyn pointed out, "I know he didn't come here with that intention, and those letters may not be what we think they are." "Lyn, how do you know so much, to be so young?" Tara asked with a smile. "I've been there. I went through the same feelings that you did, and Nick, so I know what it's like to lose your direction in life. And I also know what it's like to find one you weren't expecting," she answered. They both sat there in silence for a few minutes. "Lyn, I know that Tracy is proud of you," Tara said. Lyn smiled, "We should probably get back. I want to get to the hospital before they take Nick for his tests." "Yeah, we need to wake everyone up so they can get ready to leave," Tara said getting up, "Lyn, thanks." "For what?" she asked. "For talking some sense into me," Tara said. "That's what friends are for," Lyn said with a grin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When they all arrived at the hospital, they found Brian sitting in Nick's room alone. They had already taken Nick for his tests. Everyone made themselves as comfortable as you can get in a hospital room and waited. Kevin and Brian paced the floor. Must be a family thing, Lyn thought to herself as she watched them. Howie and A.J. had fallen back to sleep, and Leighanne and Gary were talking quietly to each other. Tara was half watching the TV when a commercial came on for Brian's album. "Bri, look!" she said pointing to the TV. Everyone watched as the commercial aired. "Well I guess that's one way to promote it," Brian said. "I thought it was good," Lyn said. "When does it drop?" Kevin asked, not catching that part. "Next week," Brian answered. Kevin just nodded his head and went back to pacing. Lyn and Tara laughed at him. "What?" Kevin asked. "Kev, does the whole Richardson, Littrell family wear a hole in the floor every time they're worried about something?" Tara asked. Brian and Kevin looked at each other from opposite sides of the room, and burst out laughing. "I take that as a yes?" Lyn asked. "If you think this is bad, you should see Harold," Leighanne said laughing. A.J. woke up and looked around, everyone was laughing, and he wondered what the hell he missed. "What's so funny?" he asked. "Nothing, just the cousins over there, exhibiting some of the family trait," Tara said. A.J. looked a little confused, but wasn't going to touch that with a ten foot pole. "How long has he been gone?" he asked instead. Brian looked at his watch, "Almost three hours now. It didn't take this long the first time." "Well, maybe they're doing some different tests," Leighanne said. "I'll go ask the nurses if they know how much longer it'll be," Gary said, and left the room. "Lee, I have to admit, he's not the same person he was," Kevin said after Gary had left. Leighanne smiled, "No he's not." "Kevin, I meant to ask you yesterday, how come Kristin didn't come?" Tara asked. "Ohh, she was going to, actually we were walking out the door when her mom called. Her dad is sick, so she went to stay with them," he answered. "Is he gonna be OK?" Brian asked. "Yeah, her mom just needed her to help out for a few days though," he said. "God I swear D could sleep anywhere," A.J. said laughing. Everyone looked at Howie, he was sitting in the chair, his feet propped up on the bed, his head resting on the chair arm. "What about Kira?" Leighanne asked. "She had some crisis at the store she had to take care of, otherwise she'd be here too," Kevin answered. Gary walked back in, "They're bringing him down the hall right now." Everyone got up. A.J. pulled Howie's feet off the bed and let them drop to the floor, waking him up. "Nick's back," he said. Howie nodded and stood up to get out of the way. Brian looked concerned when they brought Nick in on a gurney. Ted came in with them and helped get Nick back in bed. When they got him settled Ted turned to face everyone. "Doc, did something happen? He was awake when they took him out this morning," Brian asked. "I think we overdid it a little on the tests. We were on the last one when he passed out," Ted said. Everyone got a concerned look on their faces. "Is he OK?" Kevin asked. "Yes, it's just the infection. He's a lot weaker than he lets on. It's just gonna take some time for him to get his strength back," Ted said. "Uncle Ted?" Lyn said, "Did he hit his head?" They all looked over to see two butterfly band aids on Nick's forehead above his left eye. "Yes, I'm afraid he did before the nurse caught him. He's got two stitches, but they shouldn't leave a scar," Ted answered. "Doc, can you tell us anything about the tests?" Kevin asked. "Doctor Ring is looking over them right now. It shouldn't be to much longer," Ted said, "I'll be back when he's done." Ted left the room, and everyone gathered around the bed. "Guys, what are we gonna do if these results come back the same?" Howie asked. "We'll have them done again," Kevin said. "No Kevin, you know he doesn't want to go through all that again," Brian said. "We'll figure something out, when we get him home, maybe the doctors there will see something different," Kevin said, ignoring Brian. "Kevin, he won't have them done again," Brian said. "He'll have to," Kevin said. "So you're gonna force him to keep having the same tests done over and over? Kevin he wont do it, he's already told me he's not doing it again," Brian said. "So, he's just gonna accept this?" A.J. asked. "He already has. He told me this morning," Brian answered. "How can he not fight this? I mean his entire career, his whole life is based on him hearing," Howie said. "Guys listen, he's already accepted the fact that he's gonna have to find something else to do with his life. He was worried about us," Brian said. "Worried about us? Why?" A.J. asked. "Cause he knows that he can't be in the group anymore, and he knows we're going to the studio next month," Brian said. "Not without him we aren't," Kevin said. Brian closed his eyes and sighed heavily, "Guys, you don't get it. He's taken himself out of the group. He knows he can't do his job anymore, so he's quit. Us four are now the group." They all stood there in shock, not wanting to believe what Brian was saying. "I refuse to accept this. Nick is still part of this group, and he always will be. We'll just wait for him to get better and then......," Kevin said. "Damn it Kevin!!! He's not gonna get better!!!!" Brian yelled, "Don't you get it? He wants us to go on without him. He's accepted the fact that he's never going to hear again, why are you making this so hard?!" "Brian, we don't know what's gonna happen," Leighanne said. "Don't you think that I'm praying with everything I have that he gets better? But we can't stand here in denial of what we're facing. You don't know how hard this is for me to say, he's my best friend for God's sake, but he's right. It would kill him to know that we stopped our careers waiting for him to get better," Brian yelled. "Brian," Tara said. He looked over at her, and the look in her eyes told him how shocked and saddened everyone was. He then looked at each person, they were all fighting back tears with the realization that what he said was true. "Guys, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that," Brian said. "It's OK Rok, you got the point across. None of us wants to admit it, but you're right," A.J. said. "So what does this mean for us?" Howie asked. "It means that we're now a quartet," Kevin said. They all stood there in silence, each to his own thoughts until Ted and Dr. Ring came in. They all looked up, afraid of what they would hear. Dr. Ring introduced himself to everyone and went over the results of the tests with them in great detail. "So what does this mean?" Kevin asked. "Son, his results are the same as they were the first time. I'm sorry but there is nothing we can do, the damage is to extensive," Dr. Ring said. Everyone sank with the realization that their worst fears had just come true. "God damn it all to hell!" A.J. yelled and stormed out of the room. Howie followed him out, wanting to make sure A.J. didn't destroy something on his way down the hall. Tara walked over to Brian, and they held each other. Leighanne went up to Kevin and pulled him into a hug, letting him cry on her shoulder. Gary left the room, following the same path as A.J. and Howie. Lyn looked at her uncle, sadness overflowing in her eyes. "I'm sorry hun, I wish there was something else we could do," Ted said. She just nodded her head, and thanked Dr. Ring. "I'll leave some information on schools and equipment in your office," Dr. Ring told Ted. "Thank you," Ted said as Dr. Ring left the room. "What kind of schools?" Lyn asked. "Sign language," Ted answered. Lyn looked at him, "But he's doing fine reading lips, why would he need to learn sign language?" "Honey, it would be easier for him to communicate if he learned it. They also teach the basic stuff. He's gonna have to have his house redone so he knows when someone's at the door, or when the phone is ringing. It's gonna take a lot of adjustment on his part," Ted said. "I want to see it," Lyn said. "OK, I'll go get it," Ted said, and left the room. Brian and Tara, Kevin and Leighanne gathered around the bed. "I guess we're all goin to school then," Brian said. "I guess so," Kevin answered. Chapter 68 |