| Chapter 22 Kira sat there looking at Howie for a minute, "Well, enough about Brian, how are you?" "I'm fine," Howie said. "No, how are you really? Ever since we've met I've gotten the feeling that you're dealing with something," Kira said. Howie looked at her, "What do you mean?" "Howie, you know what I mean. Something is bothering you and it has been for a while now, and it has nothing to do with Brian," Kira said. "It's that noticeable?" Howie said. Kira nodded her head. "What is it, maybe I can help," she said. Howie took a deep breath, "I don't know what it is, I've just been restless lately. I can't figure it out," he said. "What do you mean by restless?" Kira asked. "Just, I don't know, like I don't know what I should be doing with my life," he answered. "You mean your career, cause I thought that was going pretty good," she said. "No, not that. That's about the only thing in my life I do know about. No in my personal life, my relationships with people," Howie said. "Oh, I see," she said, "Let me take a stab in the dark here. Your beginning to wonder if you're ever gonna met �the one', like the one the family will approve of, that you can give every part of yourself to." Howie looked at her shocked, "Yeah, that's it exactly. How'd you.....?" Kira looked deep into his eyes, "Cause that's exactly how I feel." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A.J. walked into the kitchen where Tara and Nick were. Nick was sitting at the table and Tara was digging in the frig. "Hey man, Bri awake yet?" Nick asked. "Yeah, he was, I think he wanted to sleep some more though," A.J. said sitting at the table. Tara sat some dishes on the table and sat down, "Alex, you OK?" "Yeah, I just can't get over how bad that was," he said. "Well I'm afraid we're gonna be seeing more and more of those," Nick said. "Yeah, they obviously aren't gonna go away," Tara said with a sigh. "Brian seems to be taking it in stride though," A.J. said. Tara looked down at her plate, "He's hiding how he really feels," she said. Nick and A.J. looked at her. "Baby, how's he doing really?" Nick asked. Tara looked up at him, "Not good. He told me he didn't wanna live without Leighanne in his life, and he's angry, and he doesn't want to fight anymore." Nick and A.J. looked at each other very concerned. "Tara, why is he finishing the album if he feels that way?" A.J. asked. "Because he has to," she said. "So, when he gets done do you think he'll.....do something?" Nick asked, almost afraid to. Tara shook her head, "I don't know." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian sat in his room staring out the window. Why'd A.J. have to bring that up? Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? he thought to himself. He began to think about his relationship with Tara, what it would look like to other people. Damn if he isn't right. I guess if someone didn't know us, they could get that impression. Why are we like that? The bond we have is a big part of it, but there's something else too. Something I haven't had to face until now. Brian walked over to the window and leaned his head against the glass looking into the sky. I do have feelings for her, and have had since we met. I just never wanted to admit it, and I can't, to many people would be hurt. And I still love Lee with all my heart. God what am I going to do? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Howie sat there staring at Kira, "You feel that way too?" "Yeah, I have for a long time now. I almost didn't go to the cookout cause, well you know how Kristin is, I knew she was gonna have a single guy there for me to meet," Kira said. Howie laughed, "Yeah, Nick was dabbling in the matchmaker business a little too." Kira smiled, "Well I'm glad he did." "Me too," Howie said. They sat there in silence staring at each other for several minutes. "So, we still have movies, if you want to watch them," Kira finally said. "Yeah sure," Howie said. Kira got up and put one in the VCR and sat back down next to Howie. He put his arm around her and they both settled in for the movie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tara, A.J. and Nick had finished eating. Nick and A.J. went into the office to talk about some things. Tara had fixed Brian a plate, and took it up to his room. She knocked on the door. "Come in," Brian said. Tara walked in and closed the door behind her, "I thought you might be hungry." Brian was sitting in the window, "Yeah I am a little." Tara walked over and handed him the plate, "You OK?" Brian looked up at her then back out the window, "Yeah, I guess." Tara could tell something was bothering him. "You feel like talking bout it?" she asked. Brian smiled, "Can't hide anything from you can I?" Tara sat down facing him, "Nope." He stared at her for a moment, "Maybe another time." She looked at him, wondering what it was, "You sure?" "Yeah, we'll talk later," he said. "OK, can I get you anything else?" she asked getting up. "No thanks," Brian said. "K, holler if you need something," Tara said and left the room. Brian sat his plate down and put his head in his hands, "God, what am I gonna do?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Howie, Howie wake up," Kira said. Howie opened his eyes to see Kira standing over him. "We fell asleep, it's like two in the morning," she said. "Oh crap, I'm sorry," he said sitting up. "No, it's OK, but I gotta go to bed. You're welcome to stay here if you want, there's an extra bed in there," Kira said. "No, I better get going. I wanted to catch Brian before he went to the studio in the morning," he said standing up and walking to the door. "OK, be careful," Kira said, walking over to see him out. Howie opened the door and turned around to face her, "I had fun tonight." She smiled, "I did to." "I'll call you tomorrow," Howie said. "OK," Kira said. Howie leaned down and gave her a slight kiss on the lips, "Goodnight," he said and walked out the door. "Nite," Kira said. She closed the door and leaned against it smiling for a minute before she headed to bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Howie was trying to be really quiet when he entered Nick's house. He headed to the stairs when he was stopped by a familiar voice. "D, it's past your curfew," A.J. said. Howie walked into the living room to find A.J. watching TV. "When did I get a curfew?" he asked smiling. "Since I got here, your other parents are way to lax," A.J. said. Howie laughed, "Speaking of them..." "In bed, have been for hours. They're like an old married couple," A.J. said. Howie sat down on the couch, "Bri asleep too?" "Yeah, he had a bad headache. Have you seen those?" A.J. asked. "Yeah, I can't stand to see him like that," Howie said. A.J. nodded his head. "So, how's Kira?" A.J. asked. Howie smiled, "Good." A.J. looked at him with a goofy grin, "So what ya'll doing till 2:30 in the morning?" "Nothing, we went out to eat, rented some movies, talked some. We actually feel asleep watching the movie," Howie said. A.J. looked disappointed, "D, remind me to school you on the finer things to do with the opposite sex when you're alone with them." They both laughed. "Well I'm gonna hit the hay," Howie said getting up. "See ya in the morning," A.J. said. "K, night," Howie said and headed upstairs. Chapter 23 |