Pure and agonized frustration
Yesterday, my parents promised that they would order me Das Ewige Dasein Weiß Seiyuu concert DVD for Christmas. That is a very good thing. What is really fucked up, is that once the order was sent (to Germany) I was on cloud nine. Well, that was good. But, fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck! The DVD is out of print in Japan and so not available. In any way. I just got an e-mail telling me this. I have an uncontrolled urge to repeat the word 'fuck' for the rest of the day, now. FUCK.
*scream*
I know. I am pathetic. I just was so happy beacause I thought I'd finally get to see the damn DVD. But no. NO! Big fucking no. This really is bad karma. I wonder what I've done wrong, now. Maybe it was because I refused to go to my ex-employees new work-place's opening. Maybe. Or maybe such thing as karma does not excist and I'm just trying to find something to blame.
FUCK.
That doesn't make me feel any better. I need to find a way to see that concert somehow. I just... have to. I am destinated to see it, and I will see it, no matter what. Amen to that.
301003 291003 281003 271003 261003 251003 241003 231003 171003 [Later, 6.58 PM] 131003 121003 081003 061003 041003 031003 021003 011003
. . .
You're cynically sarcastic! It's rare {now don't
you feel special?}. You usually provide some
philosophical humor in your sarcasm. You think
the world is basically out to get you, so you
might as well make some jokes along the way.
Can't really go wrong with that...
What Kind of Sarcasm are YOU Known For?
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Couldn't be more right...
My hands are freezing. Might have something to do with the fact that the temperature is below zero (celcius, that is) and I'm wearing a t-shirt. Yay for me and my intelligence. ^^ Perhaps I really should go and get a sweater. But then again, I'm about to drool over some Shin'ichiro-sama pictures, so I think the latter option wins.
Ate ice-cream today. In my own, compromising way. Made people feel uncomfortable. Made lewd remarks. People ran. End of the report.
Quickie
I'll have to teach my brother some physics (as if I knew anything about it..) so I'll have to make this quick.
Japanese lesson was highly entertaining. Once again all three of us (Twinkie, I and Masuda-sensei) laughed so hard it had to hurt just because we somehow managed to crack up some really pathetic jokes... Sad, isn't it.. ^^**
Art-school was highly boring... Next year, I swear I'll take computer graphics. I am pretty sure it's gonna be more interesting..
Now I don't remember what I was supposed to write.. Gah... I'll go and help my bro with his studies..
[ Five minutes later ]
My dear brother just can't make up his mind. First he wants my help and now he doesn't need it.
I remember now what I was supposed to write... ^^* So. Remember when in August I wrote about the traumatizing Weiß Kreuz cosplay thing? (No one actually reads this stuff, but anyhow..) It came up few months ago that the song they did their performance to was what else but Gackt's of-so-popular Vanilla. I have not been able to listen to that song. It still makes the traumatizing events repeat themselves in my head. Anyhow, Twinkles had somehow managed to get the live performance-video of the aforementioned song and forced me to watch it. It turned out that the cosplayers had watched the video a little bit too carefully. Every single move was from it. And you can only imagine the horror... The damn song (I had to listen to it, yes) ran in my head for the next few hours... And of course, the mental images returned.
Now I have sworn not to listen to the song nor watch the video ever again. Cross my heart and hope to die.
I need some AxY fiction. Now. With high ratings.
...
Just came back from Japanese lesson. Twinkie, completely and utterly, managed to blurt out a completely sick and twisted sentence nearly causing or dearest Masuda-sensei to choke. She was supposed to translate a simple sentence: "Tanaka-san is tall." Well, how easy is that? Apparently not that easy, since Twinkie, the clever girl that she is translated it as "Tanaka-san wa nagai desu." which means something between the lines "Tanaka-san is (well, ahem) 'lengthy'." In a perverted way, mind you. Masuda-sensei had hard time trying to explain why the word "nagai" shouldn't be used in this occasion... (The correct translation, by the way, is "Tanaka-san wa seganagai desu.")
There also was something about an overweighted lady who had stomped someone's foot. Highly entertaining... ^^***
Began writing AxY lemon(-y) fic at physics lesson. Lost the track of thought by Swedish lesson and had to leave my dear bishies without any. I hate it when that happens.
*shiver*
School started again today... Cold...
I was supposed to do some very deep and meningful thinking here, but the thought managed to escape me. Let's just say that it was something about the so called "corrupt" youth... Or something. And I think I was supposed to say something about how I've never tried to look like the super-beautiful super-models. Go figure... -_-**
By the way. Got our literature essays back today. I wrote about the meaning of colors, unless I haven't mentioned. Yeah, anyhow. I got a pretty little and perfect A. Teached said that she was impressed by the amount of knowledge I have of colors. Well, I think it kind of comes naturally after seven years of art school...
Funny thing I just noticed. I used to write 'color' with the u in the middle as 'colour', but nowadays I have dropped the extra-letter. No less, I write 'favourite' instead of 'favorite' because I think the word looks incomplete without the u. The wonders of being non-English-speaking. My accent is British, though. I think. And so I have heard...
Rate Your Cuteness!
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Hands up those of you who are actually surprised! *looks around* You, in the back, you are just stretching, right? Okay, thought so. ^^****
I like green. And I like seraphs. ^^
[ Later ]
I am working as Twinkie's HTML-helpline at the moment.. Poor girl has no patience, to speak of knowledge of coding... If I am allowed to make predictions, this will end up with me typing the coding to her, making the graphics and then sending all of it Twinkles. That's how it goes. -_-*
Snow...
It really has started to feel like winter. I still don't know if it's good or bad. I should go out and see... ^^*
I dreamed another end of the World last night. Again, it was a great meteor, but this time it was slit in two, and one could see the very core of it. It was reported to be the size of the UK. When the first eathquake came, I switched to more shallow state of sleep...
I don't know where the Harmageddon-dreams come from. If I remember correctly, this already was the third, if not fourth one. This was the most beautiful, though. The colors were something amazing...
I feel tired. I hate admitting it. It's not that I haven't slept enough, because I really have. I just... feel tired. Shit. Shit shit shit.
[ Later ]
A little walk always makes me feel better.. Probably. Plus that watching the pathetic wannabe-pop-idol contestants is also highly entertaining. Exception for those who are completely and utterly hopeless and can't even sing folk-music in key. It's nice to see that someone sings worse than me. And I can't sing worth crap. Few exceptions accepted.
I should go to my next-door-neighbour to hear latest gossip from Prague. She just came back and asked me over to tell the latest gossip from London. Very interesting. I'll have to tell her about the moroccan (?) salesman who tried to make moves on me... ^^
Something borrowed, something blue..
It was snowing yesterday. For the whole day. I have mixed feelings, but I decided to make a new layout anyhow. The picture is taken from our yard. Pretty, pretty. ^^
Will be heading to a stydy-trip with my "manager" today. I don't know if I mentioned it yesterday (I don't think I did) but we went to visit the family-friends yesterday-night. The father of the family, a great guy he is, has a lot to do with theatre. He is in a theatre group, just finished filming a movie and makes lyrics and composes songs to musicals. So, he just informed me that he will take me into his keeping and try to find me open doors. As I said: He is a great guy. So today, he'll drop buy and pick me up and we will go to see an improvised show. Actually I will be going to see it, because he is performing in it. As if this wasn't enough, he asked me if he could offer me an improvisation course. Of course I said yes.
I feel much more certain about myself now that he has promised to help me with my "career". ^^ Yay for him.
Bored...
Woke up at nine, ate a mandarin sat down to the computer, few hours later noticed that getting out of the pajamas and into the shower would be a nice idea. Watched Shakespeare in Love. Again. Ate Pizza. Very healthy. Came back to the computer. I need a life. I really do.
I most likely should bribe Twinkles to nominate some of my fics to a WK fanfiction contest. I am too proud to nominate them myself. Then again, when I re-read "Past Forgotten, Past Denied" I realized it needed some serious grammar and typo-cleaning. Dammit. Now I don't dare to read "Momentarily Dreaming". Who knows what horrors it presents... I hate it when I decide to stop liking my fics. True, I decided to despise "Melting" and after reading it over six months since having written it, it didn't sound so bad. Nor did "Irony", but my incredibly cheesy wannabe-almost-a-lemon was terrible. *shudder* Where the hell have I gotten my self-critical nature? It really is annoying when I write something - for school for example - and after I have returned it I feel like crap. I feel like my writing is crap. I feel like the grade I get will be crap. And what happens? Straight As, dear friends. After so many years of receiving them, I still am not used to it. And why? Self-criticism. And the funny thing is, that whenever I actuallu am satisfied with my work, no-one else seems to like it. It's an odd world, we're living in.
I must drag myself off to do something more interesting...
Home sweet home?
Yes, I'm back. I wouldn't necessarily want to be, but am anyhow.
London was the Heaven it has always been. We went to see the musicals Fame and We Will Rock You (yes, it was my second time), both of them really great. Aside from the musicals Madame Tussaud's and The London Eye were the only tourist-attractions we went to see. Otherwise we just walked around, spending money... I made my own personal record: £100 in four hours. That is really pathetic.
We stayed in the London Elizabeth Hotel's Hyde Park Suite. A little piece of Heaven, that. Tells something about how my family has an urge to show off.. ^^**
I bought Sorceror Hunters #4 for myself and Spirited Away #1 for Twinkie. I also got two DVDs, Gundam Wing #6 and Excel Saga #1. Wee...
It was snowing outside just few minutes ago. I have mixed feelings about the winter coming, but I know that if I start to fear things beforehand, I certainly will have something to fear. Very un-logical...
I should eat breakfast. Something else than these chocolate raisins...
*sings* Guess who will be going to London tomorrow~?
I should be in a bus-stop in fifteen minutes, so I'll try to make this quick.
First of all, I'm off to London tomorrow morning at exactly 8 AM. Unless the plane is late. Or something nasty like that. It always happens when I'm eagerly waiting to get to go somewhere. Karma?
Secondly, there are no shoes on this planet anymore. I was looking for a single pair of decent looking shoes yesterday; the only thing I was asking for was something to be able to walk with (in London), but what do I find? 1) "Shoes" that are meant for killing rats and other small critters and 2) alien space-ships. Then, if I even happend to find a fairly decent looking pair of shoes, it turned out that there was no size for me! Hahaa! Damn me for having such tiny feet.
Thirdly, the clothes they make nowadays are very...odd. Yes, I have been shopping yeasterday. Or at least tried to. The clothes, yeah. I don't know if this is the case in the reast of the world but up here, behind every god's back, the fashion is rather disturbing. There are lots of tassels and too wide necklines and huge sweaters and pullovers. What I tried to find was a black turtleneck. Do I find any? No. Do I find decent looking gloves? No. No, no, no. I really shouldn't try to buy anything. I'll just start bemoaning about the lack os style and the way the teens nowadays dress. (That certainly is a thing to be worried about. Plus their behavior. *shudder* I can't count the times I have wanted to push them off a railing in some random mall after seeing them spitting down on the people in the lower floors. That is pathetic.)
Wow. Five minutes left.. I could start writing 15 minute ficlets if I'm this fast..
I have just seen - by far - one of the most insane anime episodes ever. I thought I'd give Excel Saga a try since it seems many people like it, and dear lord did I laugh. *wipes away taers of laughter* After having seen only half of the first episode, I can say that I will have loads of fun watching that series. And besides, Takehito Koyasu is voicing the terribly amusing Il Palazzo. He is so plain, that every sort of flashy stuff he does cracks me up.
Yeah. I will atch the series. That's a decicion.
Off to pack now. ^^ Gotta be up at 5 tomorrow morning..
Rain...
You're a red fox! Alright! Red foxes are the most
well known of foxes. They mainly eat meat, but
will also eat fruits and berries. The red fox
lives in the forests of North America.
Unfortunatly, they are still hunted today.
YOU RULE, RED FOX!!!
What Kind of Fox Are You?
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Heh, yeh. ^^V I rule. I'm a red fox. Hehe... *is very pleased*
Rain...
It's been raining for the whole day. Again. Very funny...
Spent my weekend with my aunt in a Labrador Retrived Puppy & Veteran Show (My aunt's eldest dog [whose last dog show it was, before 'retiring'] won the whole crap. ^^V) and afterwards at my Granny's. Been eating. Alot. Damn my granny for being such a good cook. ^^ No, bless her. She's a wonderful woman. Yeah, maybe it's nice that I DO eat every now and then... Eh...
Twinkie gave me a form for applying to be an extra for films/commercials/TV/whatever. She had gotten one from her drama teacher, and the nice person she is, had asked one for me too. *huggleglomp*
There has been nothing worth reading in ff.net in ages. All the good authors seem to have disappeared from the face of earth. Where are updates from such talents as spheeris1, White Kiss, Dark Hunter and Vampire Louis? I thought that the serious lack of updates was only beacause of summer holidays, but I don't think anyone is on vacation anymore. Maybe there is a huge epidemy of author's block going around... Maybe I should keep telling myself that and forget that the *best* authors *don't* stick around in ff.net but go big. They take part in writing-contests, get their own websites and thousends of visitors... (Rakuen has 169 visitors. That is fucking SAD.)
Yeah...
Grades...
Got my exams back today. They went (almost all, that is) better than I'd expected. My English test kind of pisses me off, since I missed two questions. My own stupidity, yes, but it would have gotten my grade up a little. Not that it was bad to start with...
Geography 82
English 92
French 80 (I passed, I passed, I passed!!! *dance of joy*)
Literature essay 95
Maths 90 (OH. MY. GOD. I suck at maths. It's not possible.. But it apparently is.. ^^V)
Religion 82
So there. Very decent I might say. My maths grade still surprises me. I was very wise to check the test several times before returning it. Very wise indeed.
And French. God allmighty, I thought I'd barely pass... Oh, well, it's better to quit French in a decent way, rather that taking 55 out of the test. I am proud of myself. ^^
It's been raining for over 24 hours straight. Very lovely. I should drag my ass to the bus stop in 25 minutes. Not too tempting...
Drowning in drool..
I got Saiyuki Reload episode 1 just few hours ago. I watched it. And I, as Twinkie would put it, am in danger to die for dehydration. Seriously. I tried to screencap some very droolworthy parts, but my computer didn't want to co-operate. *pout* I will succeed some day...
Sprots today. First thing in the morning. Cold. So friggin' cold. And football. Or soccer, which-ever you prefer. My blood-circulation is known from deciding to stop working when it should work. That was a very irrational sentence. The point is, my fingers were rather numb after the lesson. Guess who forgot to take gloves. NO. Guess whose little brother has a hobby of stealing his sisters gloves. Especially the fingerless ones. And then making them disappear. I have an evil brother.
Which reminds me... Dear Brother has been rather nice to me during the past few days. I have no idea why. He propably is in a need of something and will blurt it out sooner or later. Or then he'll just ask if I support him and his two boyfriends if they decide to legalize their relationship. Or not. Maybe he just feels like being nice to his one and only sister. Maybe I'm looking too much into it.
Headache.. But remotely happy..
Anime all-nighter was nice. We managed to make people traumatized because of Angel Sanctuary and Fury's twin sister cried because of the Weiß Kreuz OAVs. At midnight we opened Digimon Shampagne bottles (non-alcoholic.. ^.~) and everyone except Twinkie was out a little past 1 AM. Twinkles stayed for the night. We sat in silence, drawing, until around 3 AM and woke up at 1 PM, when my mother called and asked if we had had fun.
After eating breakfast we watched Saiyuki 22. Very amusing.
I found a lovely surprise from our mail-box and it probably made my day a little better. I got the Saiyuki manga #2. *dance of joy* I love it already. Then again, when wouldn't I love Minekura's work? The evil thing is, that the manga ends to cruel cliffhanger and makes me curse the fact that the number3 wont come out until December. Oh, well, two months go by fast. I hope.
I drew my first proper Gojyo today. Yay. Now all I need is some classy 35/53 fiction and my day will be great. The sad thing is that I have read every single readable and findable 35/53 fic out there. *le sigh*
Which deadly sin do you represent? (Angel Sanctuary Pics)
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I love that picture of Mad Hatter.. Envy? *shrug* Who knows?
NOT PISSED! *dance of joy*
FoxKids has begun showing Hamtaro. Good god.. I almost had a heart attack when I noticed and died for the cuteness when I decided to watch it for a while. What a lovely way to start my day.. ^^
School starts at 9.45, which means I still have about 30 minutes before I'll have to haul my ass to the bus stop..
Okay, really. I just listened the Italian Hamtaro opening song (be afraid) and am now listening to Magica Doremi. The latter one was a funny series, even though there were way too many cute chibis in it. Heh, yeah..
An anime all-nighter today. Seven people will come over and we will watch Angel Sanctuary, Weiß Kreuz, Gundam Wing and a little bit of Saiyuki if we have the time. I can only imagine how seriously sick the humor is sometime around midnight.. ^^
I'm hungry...
Bad girl, Foxie, didn't you eat breakfast?
I did. I ate a mandarin just.. two hours ago.
Don't you know that it isn't enough? You are a growing girl, you should eat more.
Oh, but I do. I'm planning to go and get another one!
That's more like it.
What the hell was that?
Why am I *still* pissed?
1) Someone said something really cruel to me today. Kind of made me freak out.
2) Elfwood decided to remove TWO of my pictures. Another one of them, as they put it, wasn't SciFi and the other one (Illustration to Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet) wasn't 'high fantasy'. Funny how they *did* get past the moderators when I posted them NEARLY A YEAR AGO. Really pisses me off.
3) My little brother hurt his arm while skateboarding. I hope it's not broken. I really do.
Why I shouldn't be pissed:
1) We'll have an anime-all-night-er tomorrow.
2) I have friends like Twinkie.
3) I have a new hair-cut.
4) I'm listening to Perfect Stranger by Shinichiro and Koyasu
Well wohoo...
Pissed off in a blankish kind of way..
My last exam today. Religion. I'll get full score from at least one question. Yay..
I feel pissed. Still. Don't know why. *shrug*
Did some fixing with my website. Blah... Nothing much. Thumbnails and such. Blah... Blah blah blah.. Japanese in three hours.. I should drag my ass to the four o'clock buss and go to Twinkie's. From there to Japanese class.. I feel sorry for Masuda-sensei. Yesterday he shooed us ten minutes too early so he could have his coffee break. Sad..
I'll just go and bang my head to a wall or something..
Or to play with meme... I don't have livejournal username, I know. I could have but Twinkie already gave her code away, so I'll stick with this thing..