Miracles...
Now it has happened. I've had an angst overload. I never thought it was possible but it apparently is. Or more likely I have had a serious overload of fics in which Aya and Yoji seem angsty but happy (nonetheless) together and in the end it turns out either one of them is dead and the whole thing was nothing but a creation of the other one's imagination. That's a cheap way to make an angst fic and I think people should stop (over)using it. It's almost as bad as "then he woke up and it was all a dream". If you people want to write angst, then - please - do it properly! Gods. In some occasions those "the other one is dead and this is not real" endings are used to make up for a poor beginning of the fic, but as I have noticed, they can ruin a perfectly fine story, too. Really. I don't know why, but for some reason I have stumbled across the aforementioned fics more than often, lately. The first one was okay. Now they just piss me off. Truly. I need some well and "professionally" written fiction, now. *grumble grumble*
You represent... angst. You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.
What feeling do you represent?
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Damn... I just can't seem to help it...
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Registered in mediaminer.org. No, I seriously have nothing to do. I'm sort of afraid because of the fact. Mediaminer.org, that is, not having nothing to do. I know (think?) people in mm.org are more demanding and sort of more "professional" (that was the reason I didn't dare to sign in ff.net at first, though) there. Oh, hell. If I want real reviews, I guess I have no choice. People in ff.net have either disappeared or simply stopped reading/reviewing fics. I'm an author (even if it's just fanfiction...) and I want feedback, dammit. And I'll take it like a man. Woman. Whatever. I guess it's always the reception I get that frightens me. Whether I'll be "accepted" or not... God, when did I become like this? No, wait, don't answer. I already know... It was when Mr. Inspiration took off to Bahamas and left me dwelling in artistic block and writing without inspiration. This made me unsure of my work (no matter how much it's praised..) and therefore I'm scared shitless and dying to know if people really like what I write. I hate being melodramatic, sometimes. *dramatic sigh* The curses of being a Leo (even if I don't believe in weekly horoscopes, I think that the personality ones have some truth in them...).
I should get the speakers installed to this computer. These headphones really annoy me. When they finally make headphones big enough for me (I have a big head, dammit. I've heard about it enough so you can shut up now) they turn out to bee too big. Joy. ^^*
By the way. I liked RotK quite a lot. Not as much as I liked FotR (nothing can beat that) but definitely more than TTT. Viggo Mortensen was his own charming self and it was nice to watch him. ^^* I have some sort of a twisted thing for men decades older than me... *shakes head* Maybe I'll sleep now...
Less angsty post-Christmas blabber
Since I have nothing better to do and I'm a materialist, I thought I'd list all the gifts I got for Christmas...
- Tickets to London (December 29th to January 1st)
- Wei� Kreuz DVDs 4 & 5
- Spirited Away DVD
- Nightwish Live DVD
- Blackmore's Night Ghost of a Rose CD
- My own picture in frames (I can take the hint...)
- Shakespeare's Life and Work book *huggles*
- Wool socks from my grandmother (I can always trust her ^^)
- A wannabe Barbie-thingy-doll (Suvi, your sense of humor is sort of twisted)
- And then there is the lovely drawing of Aya and Yoji I got from Sandy and an all-too-pretty painting I got from Twinkles. *huggles the gifts and their givers*
Am going to see RotK today. Yay. ^^
Don't feel like Christmas..
I really don't. Not a single traditional Christmas thing has managed to stir that feeling. I think it's sort of sad. And quite common, if I have understood correctly. I can only wonder why? Is it really because Christmas is only a reason to get stressed, nowadays?
But then again, it's pretty much the same with all the traditional celebrations. At least for me. New Year's, birthdays, Midsummers... whatever hell. I feel nothing. I take them just as days among the others. And I don't like that. Gifts, smiles, happy faces; none of them do a thing for me. I just act along.
There was only one thing that made me really happy this Christmas... (And it proves how much people - me included - love materia nowadays) My parents got me tickets to London. I'll be spending the New Year in London. *huggles parents* At least they made my day a little brighter.
Now I can finally do some serious research for my London-thingy-fic...
What should I do to find feelings?
Bored?
I've been up for about an hour and a half and am already bored to death. I should go to Twinkie's today, since we're planning to go ice-skating, but it feels like a big thing to get my butt of the chair... And besides I need to eat something today, too. And I have the feeling that Das Ewige Dasein DVD might arrive today. But then again, I have that feeling pretty much every day, so...
Updated my fandomination.net account. I felt like an ass when I noticed that "If Only I Understood" - the first fanfic I ever wrote and of which I'm still proud - had been written (by me and because of my obvious lack of sleep) as "Of Only I Understood". I really am an ass. Bad thing is that fd.net doesn't allow removing fics... Crap.
Sent my "Don't Go Away" (re-written in July 8th) version 2 to Twinkie to beta. She said she didn't get the point from all the angst. *glare* Oh well. I sent it to SandyDandy instead, since I at least hope she can see a plot from under tons angst (to be quite honest, I didn't think of it as such an angsty thing..). Had it been any other fic, I might have laughed about Twink's comment, but it happens to be "Don't Go Away version 2" and I happened to like it, myself. So there. I have written "so there" too many times today.
I should go and raid our fridge. Maybe there is some food there. I hope.
Snow... Tons of it
It's snowing like there's no tomorrow. Very lovely to drive 75 km in a snowfall like that...
It's vacation time. Yay for that. I also got the internet connection working in my room. Yay for that, too. I should do some writing or other creative stuff but since I'm supposed to clean up the whole hard drive of this computer, the idea isn't too tempting. Just my mp3's took three CDs and I can only wonder how many it'll take to save all the necessary files from the drives.
It was very rewarding to see my friends' faces when I gave them their drawings. Especially Sandy and her twin were seemingly surprised and liked what they saw. Oh, well. Or maybe they're just good actors. ^^ No, I don't think that's the case this time. Jenni, a friend for who I drew an agent-like man with a plush bunny was visibly drooling over the picture. I have to admit that I myself liked that drawing the best. ^^
Speaking of which; I got a wonderful gift from Sandy. ( Aya & Yoji ) That drawing makes me smile and think how lucky I am to have such friends. ^^
I'll probably go downtown tomorrow to get a Christmas gift for my mother and to walk around smiling for my lucky state since I have nothing to worry about before Christmas. If Twinkie happens to be at home I'll stop by, but I think she was speaking something about going to visit some relatives. So I'll just walk around. And hope that the stressed last-minute-shoppers don't infect me with stress. ^^
I really feel like reading. Too bad that I have absolutely no idea what I'd like to read. It feels as if I've read all the read-worthy books available in the library (maybe I have) and that I should just wait until someone publishes something new. I though about getting some Nick Hornby-book, but I don't think I need sarcasm and irony just now. I only managed to get rid of the sarcasm overload that consumed all my writing not so long ago and I'm not intending to get it back. Jostein Gaarder's most interesting works I've read through as well as the besT Shakespeare plays... Hmm... Any suggestions? Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice? Perhaps, but I honestly think that Vampire Lestat was very appropriate way to end the story. Except that it could have been a tad longer. And besides Akasha scares the crap outta me.
Dragonlance series for the XXth time? No, thank you. Or I could read Soulforge again. Raistlin is such a sweetheart (and would kill me for saying that).
Or maybe I'll just watch anime all these two weeks. ^^*
Insert blankness here
Did a very little christmas-shopping this afternoon with Twinkles. We bought gifts for two of our friends. Nothing else. I've sorted out the gift problem by putting my oh-so-wonderful artistic skills in use and drawing something for those I want to bribe. I have one drawing left to do and I think I'll have it finished by tonight. Hopefully. I need it for tomorrow... And damn. I feel guilty since I can't give Twinkie her gift for Christmas. I know it's not my fault, but anyhow. And I don't want to sent them another e-mail asking for the gift since they said they would send it as soon as possible. *le sigh*
I eagerly awaiting for tomorrow. Sandy, as I have heard, has made me a picture of Aya and Yoji and that'll probably be one of the best gifts I'll get. I sometimes envy her skills. *moment of silent envy* But then again, it's useful to have a friend like that. That way it's possible to see what daily practising can do. ^^
I have two fic ideas growing in my head; both of them based on songs. That's purely because my dearest Mr. Inspiration has still not returned from his vacation in the Bahamas. I hope he hasn't taken so-called "permanent vacation"... COME BACK TO MOMMY, MR. I! *sniffle*
Eh... I think I might have made a complete fool of myself, today. I sort of got mad because of our English teacher who demanded a little too accurate answers in a word test we had on wednesday and therefore she didn't give me all the available points but 13,5/15. Yeah, yeah. I just am used to getting straight As from English. Anyhow, i gave the woman some silent-treatment for the entire lesson and aftrewards went to her and asked what she asks for an A. Now that I think of it, I feel like an ass. What an as-kisser I am. Really.. But then again, she was being extremely un-fair with her pickyness and I think she deserved it. I'll keep telling that to myself so I won't feel so much like an idiot...
*grin*
You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a red Mercedes.
You will marry Miki Shin'ichiro and have 4 kids.
You will be a Director in Lapland.
( http://playmash.com )
Well that sounds rather nice. And you can always get rid of the kids somehow... ^^ I can only wonder how old the red Mercedes is, since we are living in Apartment... ^^*** Yes, I am pathetic. I thought you knew it by now.
Japanese test tomorrow. I most likely won't remember anything but "totemo futotta onna no hito" which means "a very overweighted female". Yes, the book teaches silly things... ^^
Snow!
It has apparently been snowing all night. Th neighbourhood has gotten a lovely white cover. Now I just hope there'll be more of that stuff, so we can have a white christmas. It's odd, how we usually have snow around October ar at least in November while other parts of the world have to wait and wait for it. Now the snow came ten days before Christmas. I wonder if global warmind has anything to do with it...
Now I've sounded enough like a old woman telling stories about Christmas...
Corrupted four innocent minds last friday. Yami no Matsuei and Gravitation got a warm welcome from my friends. ^^
I waiting for my Das Ewige Dasein DVD and Twinkie's Christmas present at the moment. They should both arrive sometime during next week, if I am not completely mistaken.
Last week of school and then a lovely break that lasts until January 2nd. Joy. I should finish my Cristmas gift drawings someday soon...
Rather interesting
The Big Five Personality Test
Take Free Big 5 Personality Test Extroverted |||||||||||| 46% Introverted |||||||||||||| 54% Friendly |||||||||| 36% Aggressive |||||||||||||||| 64% Orderly |||||||||| 40% Disorderly |||||||||||||| 60% Relaxed |||||||||||||||| 70% Emotional |||||| 30% Openminded |||||||||||||||||| 72% Closeminded |||||| 28%
Well, that's rather accurate. Except that I don't consider myself being that aggressive..
Japanese in an hour. We'll most likely have an exam next week. Sheit. No good.
Talked about love and what it is at philosophy lesson today. Oddly, I felt out of place. After having thought about it, I came to the conclusion hat I have never been in love. Most likely. No, I haven't. I have thought that I have been, but am quite sure that I have been wrong. Love is a thing I'll probably never figure out. Somehow I just feel that it isn't one of those things that are easy for me to cope with. I feel like it, at least...
I have a serious addiction on yoghurt. In the past three days I've eaten more yoghurt than anything else. How sad os that?
Happy b-day Finland! ^^*
I'm supposed to be watching over my next-door-neighbours' cat. I went there last night to give the cat some food and see if she was having a good time. I went and there was no cat in sight, so I presumed she had gone out. I left some food and walked out the door. I left the key inside. Well, yay. Anyhow, I called my neigbour and she told me where they had their another spare-key and this morning I sought it up and went to see the cat, again. She was sleeping and gave me a scornful look for waking her up. I took it as she was disappointed for me not having visited her highness. Well, the humble servant I am, I went and served dear Mimosa some delicious cat-food. The cat refused to come and eat. I had to walk to her with the food-cup and bring it to her face just to tell that "Hey, Your Mighty Highness, there's food for you." After I had left the room, she very slowly proceeded to the kitchen. There she acted as if she wasn't interested. The little basket in the corner was so very interesting that she obviously had to sniff around a little instead of eating. I rolled my eyes multiple times, called out for ms. Mimosa and finally gave up and sat down on an armchair and told her that there was food if she - by any means - was interested. She obviously wasn't. I told her to have a nice day and left (taking both keys with me! Go me).
I just made a whole post out of the excitement of feeding a cat.
I drew another Christmas-gift-art yesterday night. Sesshomaru for Sannika. I actually am proud of myself. Drawing Fluffy didn't sent me into the edge of madness. I though all those little details might kill me, but wrong I was. The only thing I had problems with, were the eyes. I couldn't make him look blank enough. Well, at the end of the day he came out very pretty.
Now I need to draw one Omi, one Schuldig, one dying, grotesque Little Pony (don't ask, for Heavens' sake, don't ask) and a tall dark stranger. I still have about twenty days to do so. ^^*
I hope Twinkie's Christmas present would arrive quite soon. I'll have to send some e-mail asking for it, I guess...
Twinkie and I finally got our new Japanese books yesterday. Too bad that they had made a mistake in the ISBN code and the two last digits were in-correct. We could books for the course I instead of getting books for the course II. Yes, we did go and complain.
I should put some Yami no Matsuei on DVD...
PROFESSIONAL ASSASSIN: You're a pro. A soldier of
death. You have a job to do, and you do it.
Killing is your business, and business is good.
Which Type of Assassin Are You?
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*growl*
Some evil car-driver decided to drive by and splash all the muddy water from a puddle on me. *growl* Guess twice if my black leather jacket looks slightly spotty now.. To speak of my face... some people should have their driver's licences banned.
Read a report someone had written about Wei�' Last Live concert. I nearly cried because I wanted to be there. If this one really was their last live show, I really am going to start crying. I know that a DVD of the Concert will be out in March but then there is the question of how the hell - and where the hell from - can I get it? It sometimes sucks living in the backwoods of Northern Europe.
Got three of the four exams back today. Fuck, but my Literature grade dropped by one. It wouldn't bother me so much if I knew I had done the best I could, but I know I didn't. I had no motivation what-so-ever in the last period and now it seems to come back to me. Damn. Other than that, I got 72 out of the friggin' what-ever-its-official-name-is "health education" (???) test. Cheers for me. I passed. And with pride too. ^^
82 in Swedish. I made some really silly mistakes, but nothing that I'd be completely ashamed of. Yay...
Why does no one let me download Saiyuki episode 39? I have two versions of it that I'm trying to load, but neither one of them will ever be complete. The other one is 61% (queued 107) complete and the other one 50% (queued 69). That is just cruel. I haven't gotten a single new episode of the original Saiyuki in a lo~ng time... *sniffle* I want new episodes to slash up. ^^ Preferably some 35/53 fodder...
Rock rock.
Aerosmith rocks. Big time. I am apparently digging up my old Aerosmith fandom here. ^^ Great music they have. And Tyler and Perry are just gorgeous. And at this no one shall mention a thing about the fact that they are old. Thank you.
School. I have a new English teacher. This one can pronounce even more poorly than the previous one. If that is even possible. Bad thing is that I'll have to convince this teacher (too) that I indeed am pretty fluent in English. Not perfect, but that's why the "pretty" is there.
Chemistry. The teacher's the same I had in maths in the first period. She apparently has decided that since I was so good at maths I am supposed to be good at chemistry too. And I couldn't even remember that carbondioxide is written as CO2 (the 2 in lower case, mind you...). Stupid me. But as the lesson proceeded I pretty much had dug up the remainings of the knowledge I have of the subject in question...
Swedish. It's the same as in the last period. Boring. There are about five or six girls aside from me and twice as much guys in the group. I'm sitting with the men. ^^* What? My window-seat just happened to be free and I needed to sit there. No scary-looking heavy-metal group can stop me. ^^
Ah, the sugar, theatre history. The teacher is a jewel. She really is. I predict that the theatre history lessons will be very entertaining.
Biology (at last I'm in the same group with Twinkie...), philosophy as new subjects tomorrow. The latter one, I think, will be quite interesting...
I want some yoghurt now.
Kurisumasu yo...?
I got a little chocolate ducky out of my Advent calendar this morning. ^^
Went to Twinkie's sometime around 10 AM and spent some time there with Twinkles herself, Sandy and her sister and two other random people. ^^ (Yes, Suvi, I have labelled you as a random person.) Very much fun indeed.
Twinkie's mother and I persuaded Twinkles to dye her hair blonde. I'll see how it looks like tomorrow. Hee... I need a new hair-color too. The current one is sort of... blah... It used to be red-ish, but it most definitely isn't red anymore. It looks like something dead. Very sad indeed. Perhaps I'll just go and get the brightest red I can find and dye my head with it. Most likely so...
Tomorrow is back to school routines again. Luckily my day starts with an English lesson, so it won't be that bad. And besides, I'll go to school at 9.45 AM which means I get to sleep late. Too bad that I get to go home at 5.05 PM. Good thing is that I don't have Japanese lessons this week since Masuda-sensei is in Japan. He'd better bring his favourite little students something fun from there.. ^^ Speaking of which, since it seems that I won't be getting to go home from school on Tuesdays earlier than 5 PM (very un-logical again) I will have to run for my Japanese lessons. They begin at 5 PM. Lovely. Oh, well, no can do.
I want to get my London-thingy-fic out of the damned computer. My computer, that is. Too bad the floppy-drive is ruined and it doesn't have a burning CD drive. Crap...
Yesterday I finished the friggin' awesome Yoji-picture I started drawing last Tuesday. Did I mention about it yesterday? *shrug* Dunno, but it came out pretty damn pretty. ^^ Can't wait to get a new scanner...