crossed my mind again
that funny way of sneaking
falling pictures on a pool of tears
untill it washes on the shore of my memory
cannot get these images out of my mind
haunting flashbacks of this freindship gone wrong
those simple words that killed it
those simple words echo
public venues make it worse
hide behind a veil of happiness
cannot let you know my sorrow
cannot let you know my regret
wiching the best i do
trying to move on is hard
the thought hardens my emotions
but i'd rather see you happy
: : Entropy : :
awake to slap on my smile and face the day
place the thoughts of suicide away
cry myself to sleep
swallow another pill to make that stop
remove these scars from my soul
weak and fragile state i linger in
this pain of being here i endure
just strip it all away
watch it fall gracefully into the shadows
that darkness holds all my secrets
this light is flickering, soon to fade out
but then i awake to slap on my smile and face the day
and place these thoughts of suicide away
: : Not Around Here : :
despite what i tell myself
you were never really here
i hold on to fragments of a lingerig dream
wipe away this past i had with you
rundown from the runaround of push and pull
try to show you what's inside of me
only to find the emptyness in you
: : Rumors : :
try to drive on my side of the car
see how easily it is to crash
try to be dependent on the not so simple pleasures
could you make it as far
not all the rumors are true
there's still a place for you
a needle in a hay stack comes to mind
are you gonna be the one to find
are you honestly going to try and tell me things are going to be ok
cause believe me that one never seems to get old
i'm getting older sitting here talking to you
and the words i utter don't seem to make any sense at all
walk away from all that's real then
and halucinate on your perfect life
i'm getting tired
tired of being your subsitute when your in detox
but it seems that the rumors are becoming true
and i realize that there's not a place for you
: : Fell Off The Wall Again : :
If i reach out to you
will you stretch just as far?
i feel as if i'm fadeing
as your memory crashes into me
lying here with tears as comfort
twirling my hair calmingly
wish i could of been what you wanted me to
instead of that mockery i thought was right
but instead here i lay
this mind wonders to happier times
you and that coy smile getting in trouble
trying to keep up with you
in your fast pace
lingering to breathe next to you
knowing it cannot be done
so how many times can a shell be placed together again?
but we all know nursery rhymes and fairytales are childish
these dreams are always interupted
as i wake with out you
: : Struck: :
where we lost our innocense, is where i'll be
hiding my sins
defying the gods in a sense
deeper and deeper i dwelve
losing all touch with reality
mocking the gods with every breath
illuminating pleasures emit from me
untill i am struck down by my sins, defiance and mockery
: : State : :
sitting, thinking, watching
this world of infinite possibilities
as i limit myself to the confidence of my state
a state which i hold back
a state where i no longer have well being
this state you drove me to
laughing you sit there
undressing me with your persona
scared here i sit
putting myself back together
shot down again and again
dismembering my body and hiding the parts
till i can no longer bring myself to a whole
: : Played : :
delusion of a relationship i thought i was in
suicidia thoughts invade my dreams
cannot believe i was played by you
the aray of bullshit you said
so you could get me in bed
i'm tired of the silent treatment i give myself
the jagegd tears have stopped ripping my flesh
this pathetic fetish i addicited myself to
was a mirage in my mind i made of you
: : Wade : :
you bash me with your words
it wouldn't be family time wothout you
the numbered steps cannot recover me
the people you hurt in the process
the tears have been my friends throughout the nights
at night i hear you stager
killer of dreams
you hide behind a fragile glass
the years you stole from us
the looks i get from you
the feeling i will end up the same
: : Crazy : :
your darkness over shawdows my light
running faster but never semming to get anywhere
sinking in your hatered
drowning in your patheticness
this hold you have, never before have i felt this trapped
let me out of the cage once and a while
forgotten here i feel
numbness setting in
smother me with your love
: : Too Much Too Soon : :
the confidness of all this pressure i give myself
so hard to breathe with my thoughts
look around but everythings gone
reach out but nothings there
yell out but no sounds
the pressures comming closer
in a corner i try to hide
it can see me but i don't want to see it
it covers me with it's sweet sound of decption
as it covers me completely
: : Lost A Sense : :
i can see your tears fall to the ground
they peirce my soul
i can feel your words course through my veins
the sweet surrender of this release must be nice for you
my being has shattered
to struggle without you will be deafening
but one day i shall be able to hear again
: : Our Little Secret : :
with drunkness kicking in i'm influencial
coherenceness has left me
lead the way
your room is not where i want to be
i lay down next to you
stop touching
the little voice inside me is gone
just you and me doing what i thought i'd never do
but i am
and it's confusing
is it your curiosity?
or mine?
it's hard to breathe like this
i just swallowed my dignity away
why can't i get sober
and you have the odosity to say "i'm goin to sleep now"
i'm only a scared little child hearing the words i used to be called
: : Those Stupid Words : :
fall from grace and into my hell
let the flames engulf you
my bitterness fuels them
deception and deciet were your delight
now my determination of your doom is your destination
the waking up without you and the cold sholders were hard to stomach
you transformed me into an obsessed stalked driven by destruction
the endless tourchers i have planned for you
have been all washed away
by a simple i love you
: : Another One Night Stand : :
shatter on the ground beside me
let our souls crash next to eachother
words are meaningless
they never help anyways
dawn approaches
i can see my reflection in your eyes
every blink makes me vansih more and more
: : Being : :
would it be right?
or am i always wrong?
cause i'm tired of trying to find the one
darkness wash over me
deception seep into me
delusion take me where i want to be
hidden in the back of my mind you sit
writing in my journal of thoughts
your name reaccures like a maddening sickness
you are my savior
you are my reaper
destroy me with your pretty little words
make me bleed from your nails down my back
let it all just slip away
till i'm at where you are
: : Melt : :
i'm cold
so cold
i can't feel you
for i've gone numb
desensetising your surroundings
your so good at that
i want to feel you
you can't just stand there
act as if you don't feel the bitter frost
i want to ignite you
make you feel what i feel
open up to me
just melt