| Be careful of the toes you step on today, as they may be attached to the ass you'll have to kiss tomorrow. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, lets get wasted together and have the time of our lives Men are just like parking places, all the good ones are taken and the ones left are handicapped. If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time windows crashed....WAIT!! he does! Princess:having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frogs! Treat me no differently than you would the Queen If we are what we eat, then im fast, cheap and easy. How many men does it take to change a light bulb? * one, he just holds it there and waits for the world to relvolve around him Take me drunk, im home Sometimes i think i understand everything, then i sober up. Behind every great man, is a great woman, and behind every great woman is a man staring at her ass. Remember: work like you dont need the money; Love like you've never been hurt and dance like you do when nobodys looking! Lo, would it not be neat, if we could restart bad relationships with Control-Alt-Delete Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups! God must love stupid people~he made so many! My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. The only thing wrong with the perfect drive to work is that you end up at work. "I was worried that my mechanic would try to rip me off, so i was relieved when he told me all i needed was blinker fluid!" In a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates? I misplaced my dictionary...now im at a loss for words. Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilet locked. They must think that toilet paper is worth more than money. If at first you do succeed try to hide your astonishment Is there another word for synonym? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! If man evolved from monkeys and apes...why do we still have monkeys and apes? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? The good thing about egotists it that they dont talk about other people. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times..does it make him disoriented? If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged druing a plane crash, why isnt the whole damn airplane made of that stuff? If one sychronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? Why dont sheep shrink when it rains? Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers? Why do gas stations lock their restrooms? are they afraid someone will clean it up? |
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| Greatest Pick-Up Lines: |
| 1) lick finger and wipe shirt...."lets go get out of these wet clothes 2) Nice Legs....What time do they open? 3) Do you work for UPS? cause i could have sworn i caught you checking out my package 4) You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 5) Can i buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 6) I may not be the best looking guy/girl in here, but im the only one talking to you 7) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest man/woman on earth tonight. 8) Oh sorry, i thought that was a braille nametag 9) Is that a laddder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? 10) I'd really like to see how you look when im naked. 11) If it's true we are what we eat, i could be you by morning. 12) Fuck me if im wrong, but is your name Helga? 13) My name is _____....remember that....you'll be screaming it later. 14) Do you believe in love at first sight? or should i walk by again? 15) Hi, im Mr.Right....i heard you were looking for me? 16) My friend wants to know if you think im cute.. 17) Do you wash your pants in Windex? Cause i can see myself in them. 18) If i told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 19) If i could rewrite the alphabet, i'd put U and I together. 20) Let me check your shirt tag...I wanna see if it says "made in heaven" |
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| Last Updated March 14, 2002 |
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