University of Minnesota, Morris Intramural
Football Team
The yellowest awards page in the league.
The Fourskins team party was held on Thursday, November 12 at 7:00.
All Fourskins were in attendence, with a few exceptions. Eddy "Pornstar"
Cox had prior engagements and Andy "Vosectomy" Vacek was a sell-out. It
is unsure whether either will return next year. There were plenty of fans
in attendance. The Fourskins would like to thank all who attended the
ceremony. The festivities started with Head Coach Nate Brinkman handing
out the "Chatter Box" awards to the devoted fans. The team awards were
then handed out, followed by a big "1.2.3...4SKINS!!!"
AND NOW, THE AWARDS...
The Chatterbox Awards (Given to the fans who cheer the
loudest) Chicken Lover---Brian Vieregge
Cousin It---Chad Becker
C'MON SHOTGUN!---Dan
Starken
BLOCK FOR HIM!!!---Jen
Luther
Mrs. Donkey---Paula Stark
I'll just go coach this
other team---Randolph "Benny" Shea
DOH!!! I missed every
game!---Stephen "Homer" J. LaPlant
Danner Anner Anner
Anner---Allison Danner Fan of the Year
(Given to the most devoted Fourskin Fan) Jen
Luther The Nate
Brinkman/Ace Bandage Tinman Award
(Given to the most injury prone Fourskin) Eddy "Pornstar" Cox
(Award accepted by Doctor Dave Schaefer) The Kamikaze Award
(Given to the Fourskin who plays with reckless abandon)
Andy "Vosectomy" Vacek
(Award accepted by Eric Gorman) The Homer J.
LaPlant Offensive Lineman of the Year
(Given to the most dominating Fourskin offensive lineman) Jeff "Wag Tank" Wagner
Most Heart
(Given to the Fourskin who puts everything into the game) Dave "D.D.L." Logan
The Flag Pulling
Award
(Given to the Fourskin defender who specializes in grabbing
flags) Mitch "E.R." Wirka
Mr. Clutch
(Given to the Fourskin who always comes up big in crunch
time) J.J. "James Jerome" Douvier
The Intimidation
Award
(Given to the Fourskin who makes his presence known by his
play and taunts) Jared "Tractor" Groehler
The Light 'Em Up
Pepper
(Given to the Fourskin with the best hits throughout the
year) Ryan "Donkey" Haraldson
The Best Hands
(Given to the Fourskin who catches everything) Andy "El Presidente" Meissner
Defensive Player of the Year
(Given to the Fourskin who dominates the defensive side of
the ball) Peter "Rudy" PearsonRUDY'S
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: "There are 2 things I fear in the world:
God and the phenomenon that is LaDarell. (El Presidente: "What about
getting caught cheating on C. Sci tests?") Alright, there are 3 things I
fear! But being lit up by LaDarrell paid off later in the year when we
were "Buddy Buddy." Picture this, Ryan Shea, your brother (he motions
toward Randolph Shea) is scrambling and Cyber Germaine is yelling, 'I'm
open, I'm open! Over here!' I was lucky enough to be in the right place
at the right time and I intercepted the ball. I was running and running
until all I saw was stars. I looked up and saw Cam, who had grabbed me
with one arm and threw me to the ground. Then LaDarell, my buddy, KICKED
HIM OUT OF THE LEAGUE!"
The Offensive Player of the Year
(Given to the Fourskin offensive player who rips apart
opposing defenses) Craig "Snizz" Peterson
The Lucky Duck Foot (MVP)
(Given to the Fourskin MVP on both sides of the ball) Adam "Moss" Totushek
The Coach of the year
(Given to the coach who guided the team to victory)
EL PRESIDENTE'S COACH OF THE YEAR PRESENTATION
SPEECH:
"Alright, alright...Something has been lost in all the commotion of the
missed blocks, the light 'em up Donkeys, and the Diamond Dave Logans.
That something is the coach. The brains behind the operation. The only
brains of the operation, the coach of the year, Nate Brinkman!
Nate "Ice" Brinkman
Interesting Quotes from the night...
El
Presidente to Snizz after Snizz had received his
award: "Now
swim back to your seat."
Tractor after
he had received his award and the fans wanted a speech:
"Volk...Can I not dedicate this award to Volk?"
Doctor Dave
Schaefer after he accepted Pornstar's award:
"Well, I guess I'm sleeping with Krissy
tonight!"
Eric Gorman
after accepting Vosectomy's award:
"Well, then, I'm sleeping with Vacek tonight!"
Randolph Shea
when Ice and El Presidente were handing out awards:
"And they sleep together!"
El Presidente
all night:
"If hip-hop didn't pay, I'd rap for free!"
The Fourskins
all night:
"IT'S A BOY!!!"
El Presidente
after the awards ceremony:
"The only thing that will stand between us
and
the championship next year is the center sneak!"
1998 FOURSKINS
AWARDS CEREMONY
The Chatterbox Awards (Given to the fans who cheer the
loudest)
