Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
In case she had to draw some blood.
Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
Five presidents are on a plane: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton. George Washington says, "I will make someone happy!" and throws a dollar bill off the plane.
Then Abraham Lincoln says, "I will make five people happy!" and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.
Then Thomas Jefferson says, "I will make 500 people happy!" and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.
Then George W. Bush says, "I will make the whole world happy!" and throws Bill Clinton off the plane.
Children in the back of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back of the car cause children.
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.
There are two friends at a bar late one night. One holds a cat
everywhere he goes. he never wears a watch. The friend finally
asks him, "What's with the cat?" The man responds, "I use it to
tell time." As the two are leaving the bar, the second man is
pondering how this is possible. He finally asks his friend,
puzzled, "So how does it tell time?" The man gives the cat a
hard squeeze around its middle. The cat lets out a long meow,
very loud. Down the street, a woman opens her window to yell,
"What's with all the racket? It's one in the morning!!!"
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true,"
the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life"?
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This
prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
