I have tried to arrange them into some sort of order and if I get a moment will set up some links within the page, but in the meantime you can read them all as they are all quite good so there can be no skipping to the good parts by definition. Source is noted (sort of), but a lot of the time things are just random ramblings people have said to me forgetting I remember trivia well.

AMUSING QUOTES

"Midget twins use a holographic woman to steal the Enterprise." - TNG DVD Season 1 blurb.

"Use your imagination pal... or you can borrow mine. Muhahahahaa." - Murdoch, some random 2nd season A-Team episode.

"My torture chamber is as empty as my stomach and they both need filling up fast." - King John, Maid Marian and Her Merry Men

"We won't be apart, we just won't be together." - Umm... It'll come to me.>

"I often refuse to get out of bed, but it doesn't mean I've been abused." - My friend Matt on the subject of lie-ins.

"Hang on, you're talking to me - nothing is obvious to me!" Another friend, Henry, in a moment of (stupidly) honest clarity.

"Bllluuurggghhh!" Funny guy in a mask on the ghost train. I was not scared.

"And it's legally easier to perform experiments on plants than on lemurs." - Me planning for the future.

"You're as mindlessly sentimental as an Australian soap opera." - The Sheriff, Maid Marian and her Merry Men

"Excuse me, you haven't seen the dummy seller anywhere have you?" - Robin of Kensington, Maid Marian yet again.

"I think that's idiot speak for I will my Lord." -  The Sheriff, Maid Marian still, such a great show.

"I must be wrong. My opinion is informed." - Me

"I thought I'd stagger my exit... for a more natural effect. Tralalalalaaa..." Harry Solomon, 3rd Rock

"Get away from my cords! My blood can flow on it's own!" - Hallelujah Trail

"OK, Try this... protect both rears... simultaneously!" - New defensive strategy in the Hallelujah Trail

"Hahahahahaaaa!" - Numerous He-Man characters in numerous episodes. Note, to reproduce accurately plant fists firmly on hips and lean backwards while laughing.

"Of course Tony Blair's a liar. He's a lawyer." - Matt

"Don't bug me kid, you're forehead slopes." - Black Arachnia to annoying cave dweelling brat/kid, Beast Wars

"Not too shabby..." "Aaah, he still smells like fish." - Rhinox and Rattrap on new Maximal, Depth Charge, Beast Wars

"...you don't even know who you are. How dare you presume to help me? You can't even help yourself. Now get out of here before I say something unkind." - Garak laying into weedy Ezri Dax, Season 7 Deep Space Nine

"I happen to know that every word in your book was published years ago! Perhaps you've read... the dictionary!" Dick Solomon, 3rd Rock From the Sun

"Why do you always talk to yourself?" "I simply have a penchant for intelligent conversation." - Black Arachnia and Megatron, Beast Wars

"I should as soon call her a mother a wit." - Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

"What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?" - The Count, The Princess Bride

"Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped." - The Prince, The Princess Bride<

"The advocate will refrain from making her opponent disappear." - Data enforcing court policy, Devils Due, TNG

BIBLE QUOTES

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5v16-18

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Micah 6:8

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." - Ecclesiastes 12: 13-14

"He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth— the LORD God Almighty is his name." - Amos 4:13

"I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." - Psalm 121:1-2

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." - 2 Chronicles 20:12b

"When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades." " - Revelation 1:17-18

KLINGON LANGUAGE QUOTES

"joH'a' 'oH wIj DevwI' jIH DIchDaq Hutlh pagh"

KLINGON RELATED QUOTES

"Klingons do not pursue relationships. They conquer that which they desire." - Worf

"Is it true you can kill someone just by looking at them?" "Only when I am angry." - Worf

"What do Klingons dream about?" "Things that would send cold chills down your spine and wake you in the middle of the night." - Kira and Worf, Deep Space Nine

"What I believe in is faith. Without it, there can be no victory." - Fairly sure this is a Klingon quote.. if not it should be

"I do not smirk. But if I did, this would be a good opportunity." - Worf

"What a woman..!" - General Martock on his wife who has just slagged him off

"Die well."

MISC. QUOTES

"This is yet another example of how our actions have random results." - Data, TNG

"Well, we won't be inviting these Romulans to our party, will we?" "No. That would not be... appropriate." - TNG

"Whether I am a coward or a hero is not the issue! I am weary! My joints creak from the corrosion of war without end! I... cannot break this ring of hate that surrounds us all, but I can remove myself from it. No matter what you decide... I am leaving." - Fortress Maximus, The Transformers: Headmasters #1  (Marvel)

"I'm sure he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us." - Hannibal Smith, A-Team

"Only the wrong words are a waste of time." - Charlie Sheen, The Three Mussketeers

"Maybe so, but one thing is certain - we're losing the peace, which means a war could be our only... hope." - Sisko on the state of affairs with the Dominion, Deep Space Nine

"I also like fudge. A lot. As long as it doesn't have fruit in it. Scottish tablet, Devon clotted cream or South African caramelised, they're all the same to me." - Me, on possible the most important subject ever.

“Relics. That’s what Jhiaxus called us... and he's right. We're a joke. And everybody knew the punchline except us.” - Optimus Prime to Grimlock upon disccovering that the world he knew has moved on in 4 000 000 years... Umm, DUHH! Transformers: Generation 2 #1 (Marvel)

"You forget, my programming considers all the variables." - Data (methinks)

"They wonder if they will survive this night. But such thoughts are quickly quashed. For they are warriors. They are heroes." - The Transformers Annual 1985 (Marvel UK)

"I'll have to take care of the two of you another Time, yes? Literally." - Death's Head to Scourge and Cyclonus as he rams them through a time portal to escape a giant head exploding (honest!!), The Transformers #151 (Marvel UK)

"No wonder you erase memories. Your behaviour is appalling." - Dr Phlox, Enterprise (shock - a decent line in a crappy programme!)

"You'd shoot a man in the back?" "It's the safest way, isn't it?" - Odo and Garak, Deep Space Nine

"At the risk of sounding immodest, I have a towering intellect." - Dunno, don't think it's a quote from me...

"Killing your own clone is still murder." - Odo, Deep Space Nine

"You can't outrun them. You can't destroy them. If you damage them, the essence of what they are remains... they regenerate and keep coming. Eventually, you will weaken. Your reserves will be gone. They are relentless." - Q to Picard on the nature of the Borg, Q Who

'STOP-AND-THINK' QUOTES

"If winning is not important, then Commander, why keep score?" - Worf to Riker, TNG

"We are resolute, we are determined and your help is not required." - Picard to Q shortly before the Borg whop his arse, Q Who

"Every problem has a solution, even if it involves changing the rules." Me.

"The secret to Life is to align yourself with God. The secret to Stupid is to resist this." - Karl Martin

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." - Kahlil Gibran

"Time on Earth help us look down, see what we trample on. It life, no matter what its size or form. We watch it struggle, fight for existence. We helped it then - why not now?" - Grimlock to Optimus Prime, Transformers: Generation 2 #1 (Marvel)

"The protests about your presence on Nebulos have intensified. I fear the peace of my planet is threatened." "Peace is our shared purpose, Galan. We must let nothing interfere with its preservation." - Nebulan leader Galan discussing pollitics with Fortress Maximus, Transformers: Headmasters #2 (Marvel)

"The only kind of stupidity I can tolerate is my own." - Me

"Evolution is a 'cute theory', but it just doesn't work in the real world" - Someone I know on evolution. Not quite how I would say it but I agree with the sentiment

"A man should not be afraid to bow down before the God he trusts." - King Arthur, King Arthur

"Truth. Justice. Freedom." - Autobot Code.

"There are only two things that are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity, and I have my doubts about the former." - Albert Einstein.

SYMPATHY QUOTES

Quotes said of me or matching me closely that 'should' get me sympathy from people...

"I mean, I... I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there's a party, and then when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant." - Reginald Barclay, TNG

"We jus thought u were a weird geeky pg and u talked a load of rubbish on the forum that kept us amused." - Sarah

"No, no... I don't mean it like that. All I meant was that you're weird." - Rosie

WORK QUOTES

"There's nothing like the love of a good woman to get you through the trauma of not being asked to solve an Excel query." - Dan (EAGA)

"Your passing resemblance to an unshaven prince Adam aside, you are not He-Man?" - Brendan (EAGA)

"Gavin thinks I'm thick!" "Gavin thinks everybody's thick." - Kelli and Mairead (UoE), but honestly I don't!!

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