1. grab and swear loudly (you may also jump around and stomp.)
2. wipe off blood.
3. apply toilet paper liberally.
4.repeat for each cut.
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| SHAVING ITSELF | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| The first decision you have to make is what kind of shaving cream to use. don't use the wimpy womans kind, use the mans cream, if you want be looked upon as a man you have to shave like one. unless you're a woman, in which case i dont know what your business is reading this guide in the first place, but i must assume that you are a hairy woman and need this guide, but, if you are then i will advise you to disragard all steps up untill this one, in this case you want to be descrete.But don't worry about me, it'll be our secret. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "hmmm, with aloe, for sensitive skin." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Now it's time to lather up, you have probably seen this enough in movies to know how it's done, so i won't get into it. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| What to do when you cut yourself: through-out man's time on this earth, there has been the problem of cutting oneself while shaving. the solution has been around for centuries, toilet paper was actually invented for use on a shaving cut, but once the electric razor was invented man no longer needed to use it on his wounds, so with hundred of rolls stock- piled in every mans house, apartment, or dorm room, it cam into use as a butt-wipe. the original toilet paper as it is called now was actually "Time" magazine. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| STEPS TO TREAT A CUT 1. grab and swear loudly (you may also jump around and stomp.) 2. wipe off blood. 3. apply toilet paper liberally. 4.repeat for each cut. |
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| " god damn razor, look at all the *%&#ing blood, $*%$ this #*$%, OH MY #$%^ this hurts!!! " | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| "I wonder if Mr. Charmin knows about this." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Congratulations, you have shaved. how does it feel to be a man, or manly woman if that is the case. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| nows it's time to return from the bathroom. with your knife in hand. you have done, it. and most of your face is still there. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Notice the three day old food stains and stink, or as i refer to them, "work marks", and "the smell of of a job well done." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ~HOME~ | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||