Chapter Four
‘Don’t
Speak’
-
"This may
sound a bit silly, but did you notice that we're drinking licker in the trunk
of a stolen car?"
His voice wasn’t
yet touched by the alcohol, but that was simply because of his patience with
drinking. He tilted his head to the right just enough to catch a glance of
Angela, who laid there by his side on the floor of the open trunk of a car she’d
just nicked for fun. She was holding a bottle of vine in her hand and a strong
smile appeared on her features once she noticed him again.
Angela took a
sip of the bottle and began laughing while leaning closer to him and offering
the bottle over to him.
"Oh, you've never gotten drunk in the trunk of a car have you?" She
asked trying to sound surprised. After the incident with the car there was
nothing that she could do to surprise Ben. The only reason why she’d caught him
off guard previously was because he hadn’t no idea of her intentions until that
man on street had begun running towards them screaming something about his car
and she’d pulled him inside before hitting the accelerator and speeding off
into the night. It's wasn’t like every girl he met was instantly stealing a car
so that they could get drunk in its trunk.
"Do you really need to ask?" was his reply to her question. Ben took
the bottle to his lips feeling the cold liquid cool his mouth and caress his
throat on its way down. Then the last drop remained and the only flavour left
was sticky glass and something stuffy. "We're out of licker." He
stated throwing the bottle away in a high arch that met with the floor of the
parking lot a few seconds later shattering the bottle into little pieces of
glass.
Angela sighed
sleepily pressing her head against his shoulder to find comfort in him. She was
shivering because of the cold of the asphalt, but refused his hands when he
tried to offer some of his warmth to her as well. She simply wrapped her
leather jacket on tighter. He was slightly disappointed but settled to rake her
brown curls with his fingers barely touching her.
"What's
the harm in a couple of drinks?" She asked him repeating their earlier
conversation only that now her voice spoke of her slight state of drunkenness.
Ben murmured something about the liquid lowering one’s defences with his lips
pressed against her hair, but he wasn’t really sure if she was even listening.
He just knew it felt nice with her so close to him almost like she was a part
of finally placed to its correct location. She scratched his side with her
nails allowing the soft wave of oblivion to lover her.
"I'm not
quite sure what it'll turn you into, though." He teased her again his satisfaction
clearly readable from his voice. Feeling more than comfortable he wrapped his arms
around her though little Angela pushed his arm away from her stomach in a
violent manner soon enough.
"What
makes you sure that you won't pass out before that?" she questioned proudly
with slight annoyance reflected in her behaviour.
So she didn’t
wish to be concurred that easily, eh?
Her words made
Ben turn to look at her and that blissful face of hers. She came even closer in
her search for quartering, placing her head on her chest. Ben blew towards her
hair and made it fly in the air for awhile. Then he placed a kiss on her head.
"You're too small. It'll get to you long before me..." he claimed and
leaned his head against hers. He continued his speech without noticing that
Angela had turned more tensed and didn’t lay over him completely relaxed
anymore. "...and then you won't be able to resist my charm."
The moment he said the last part of his sentence she attempted to pull away,
but with a few moves he was already on top of her. Holding her still with the
weight of his body Ben leaned closer to her with glowing eyes blinded by
tenderness she awoke in him. "Ready to surrender?"
Ben asked while moving even closer.
Angela took a
deep breath remaining calm and ignoring the storm that was trying to reach her.
"See? We women like a guy who can do this. We want you treat us the old
fashion Tarzan way." She explained and tried to move her hands between
them when Ben grabbed her wrists and pushed them down.
"You sure you don't want to be on top?" He asked smirking and
approached her lips with the intention of stealing a kiss. He was so taken over
by his instincts that he didn't notice her turning all motionless under him. Angela
was trying hard to not to panic, but she was sensing a certain familiarity in
this situation.
"I never
said I wanted you to kiss me." She was almost vicious in her speech. That
voice had turned cold. Ben didn't notice it or decided to ignore it on a level
he didn’t comprehend. He was so close to her that he couldn't think clearly. All
he could do was to feel and that wasn't normal when it came to him. He needed
to feel her... closer.
"You want to do something crazy with me?" Ben whispered before he
kissed her letting out all the passion he had kept inside of him all these
years. This was something he had yearned the first moment he had laid eyes on
her. How unfortunate for him that she was different from the kind he was used
to holding close.
From the moment their lips touched she panicked. The flow of painful memories
went through her body like a wave. She felt like drowning into it. On the
inside she was screaming. Ben opened his eyes quickly to see her horrified
eyes. It took a moment for Ben to pull away and free her. The confusion in him
was so strong that there was no word for it.
Angela fumbled out of the trunk inhaling deeply in order to make herself calm down. A tear fell down her cheek when she felt
cold shivers running through her spine. She was feeling lost and she couldn't
breathe. A distant memory made itself enter her mind as she heard the words
again and again
There is no running away.
Ben came to her looking worried. Hearing his steps Angela pulled herself
together quickly blinking the tears away.
"Angela?"
His voice was soft and caring as he laid his hand on her shoulder. Angela
didn't feel cared or loved. She felt only rage: all consuming and destroying
rage. The same rage that had driven her to the church. With a hard face she
spilled out the words needed: "We'd better go." and walked back to
the car grabbing the keys from the lock. Ben could sense her anger.
"I'm sorry." He apologized feeling ashamed and stupid even though he
had no idea what he’d done wrong. All he knew was that she was now a different
person from the free spirit that he had courted before.
"It's not
you, it's me." Angela snapped and started walking away. "Then why are
you angry at me!?" he yelled back and ran after her. "I'm angry at
myself!" she answered when he moved in front her and stopped her.
Frustration was building inside of him when he faced her and he was about to
shout, but the look on her face silenced him immediately. It was the same sad
face he had seen the first time their eyes had met. That deep abyss of darkness
he had so many times recognized inside himself also existed within her.
"Could
you walk me to my hotel?" She seemed dark and pained and all of her
strength had disappeared leaving a weak, fragile figure behind. "Sure."
Ben's voice was hoarse as his throat had gone dry. When she was like that he
couldn't have joy.
This time Ben was bothered and uncertain. He couldn't figure her out. She was
something totally new to the closed up X5. She was for real, not running away,
but treating him like a person, making him feel alive. Now Angela was distant.
She was leading him towards her unknown destination like she had been showing
the route to a stranger. Ben couldn't imagine why. First she was this warm,
lively person, who made Ben insane with her stunts and then she turned into a
cold, tensed statue, a stranger who made him feel so sad.
It was already over midnight and it had stopped raining awhile ago. Her hand
felt cold in his, but somehow that closeness could've been enough for a
lifetime. She was great, just perfect. Ben was ready to listen, to understand,
but she didn't talk. Not a word came out.
They stood in front of her door now and the silence was freaking him out. She
just stood there in front of him avoiding his eyes keeping her hands in her
back pockets. She let her hair cover her face so that Ben couldn't see it. Shame,
hate, sorrow, they were written all over her face with burning letters.
Ben was reaching out to touch her face when she pulled away and walked to the
door. "Thank you." She whispered and took a deep breath waiting for
an answer. He didn't speak so she opened the door closing it behind her. The
same second it closed Ben took a step closer and sighed: "Damn! You
should've opened your mouth." He looked at the door for a few seconds and
made himself leave.
As the steps of Ben began to fade she began crying. Angela was sitting against
the door, holding herself and crying. It was all too much for him to bear. Hell
it was too much for her as well.
She couldn't
cry the touch away.
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