Chapter Two
‘The
Blue Lady…’
-
Somewhere near
The rain was bouncing against the window that night. It was already dark,
but they sky remained lighter than the ground and gave the view a calming
effect.
He didn't sleep during the nights when he found at least some peace from
his surroundings. All he ever did was to stare outside into the streets of
whatever city he just happened to be in and watch at the moon knowing its
phases by heart by now. It lit the sky with its pale silver rays each time and
he liked watching that as the whole scenery felt unreal to him: Unreal and very
beautiful. He could've stood in the rain for hours because it just seemed to
purify everything on its path - even his sins. Yet that time Ben settled just
for watching.
Back in Manticore they had made the children do all sorts of drills for
hours and hours in the rain - all until they worked perfectly. No mistakes were
allowed: Nothing could affect their work because if it did they would fail. The
threat of failing meant either dying or being captured and Manticore couldn't
afford of losing any of them.
Now however the rain had gained a new meaning and none of the past was
relevant anymore. Why was it that he found it hard to let go? Perhaps the
question was: How do you erase a past when the bad things are also the best
things?
The reason why Ben let his mind wander off to distant places this night
was simple: He was having nightmares again. There had been too many lately and
he wasn't that thrilled about them. They meant that he was getting too settled
here in the middle of nowhere.
The only thing that was worse than seeing Lydecker in a dream was seeing him
in flesh. Ben pressed his head when thinking about the only man he could call
his 'father'. He hated him with such passion that sometimes it even frightened
him and whenever Manticore was mentioned the first thing he could see was
Lydecker's face when he had watched their training. That pleased smile used to
make Ben want to exceed himself. Now all it did was make Ben nauseated. Such
pure evil lived within the flesh of Lydecker... such evil.
Then there was the basement. Lydecker he could handle, but there were
other dreams:
Dreams about the cry: The cry of the Nomlies locked in the lower levels
of the Manticore base they had kept them in.
Dreams about the others: Jondy, Max,
Zack, Brin, Tinga, Eva, Jack, Krit, Zane and Syl. The worst was Syl. He could
see her as clearly as the rain that pounded against his window. She always
needed help and she always called to him with the same words and in the end she
always faded away.
Ben closed his eyes and pressed his face against the window. Its surface
was cold but his body was burning.
After a few seconds he backed away from the window feeling how the cold
shivers ran down his spine. There was no peace here in this quiet hotel room that
he had made his home for awhile. Ben knew only one place where he could relax
and let sleep take him to a bliss. It was no use to linger here wishing for the
silence to rock him to sleep so he grabbed his jacket, pulled it on and gave a
quick look at himself in the mirror.
What was it that he saw: A pair of tired hazel eyes and the face of a
guy, who'd been on an adrift for too long.
Where are you
going? He asked himself wishing that he knew the answer.
A sudden breath of the wind touched him and he turned to take a look
outside. The window was already open, because he couldn't sleep with a closed
one. He simply needed a way out, a way to escape. It was what Manticore had
taught him and like a good soldier he still followed their teachings.
Time and place had no meaning to him - Most of the time Ben had no idea
where he was. All the cities looked alike and every day was a déjà vu. Nothing
ever changed except here. Here time and place regained their meaning within
just one night: This night.
He never dared to stay long in a city. Sometimes he left after a few
months, sometimes even on the next day. Still somehow he had lived in the same
city for four months now. It wasn't that Ben specifically liked the place it
was just that of all the nameless places he had stayed in this one felt like
home the most. That should've set the alarm off in his head, but it didn't.
It had been only three weeks ago, when Lydecker almost caught him on the
other side of the city. He had been careless and gotten away just in time, but
the threat of Manticore was over him again like a storm cloud. He should've
left after their little confrontation, but instead he just moved on the other
side of the city.
Freedom just doesn't taste so bad anymore, Ben explained
to himself and climbed to the open window glaring down to the alley below. He
jumped out the window into the alley between the hotel and another building. He
landed softly on his feet and gave a smile to the dark. No, he hadn't gotten
soft one bit.
It was still raining so he walked right by the building letting its walls
and roof give him some protection from the vicious raindrops that wanted to
harm him. He got off the alley after awhile and now he'd stepped on the street
in front of his hotel. He continued walking, but his steps made no sound, his
body cast no shadow on the ground like normal people did. It's the way he lived
his life - so much like a shadow.
While the cool air seemed to clear his head up a bit he slowly began to
relax. Walking around the city made the voices in his head stop talking. It was
the fear that talked and it wanted him to run again. But for once he wanted to
stay instead of running and that undefined thought had kept him here.
When he finally stopped, he found himself face to face with an old
church. Without hesitating he entered that abandoned place, but not for the
first time. This had been his destination all along.
Everything was covered in dust and dirt. It looked like no one had been
there for a while. Well, one's eyes can be deceiving.
He walked down the aisle with silent steps. A long red carpet covered the
stone floor under his feet. The entire church was without light. Spider webs covered
its ancient pillars that had taken the shape of forgotten saints. They held
crosses in their hands and showed an understanding face to the world. The
preacher's chair had fallen down a long time ago and now its glory was long
gone. There was nothing valuable left there now, but the church held its true
value in the hearts of those who believe.
A giant glass painting covered almost the entire end of the church. Ben
stopped walking when he was halfway to it. The moon began shedding its light
right through the blue glass colouring everything on its path.
He turned to watch at it as the beautiful lady that the painting
presented seemed to come alive. It was the Blue Lady, Virgin Mary,
mother of Jesus. A strange mystic feeling began to flow through him. The woman
in the painting smiled.
He walked into the blue light and reached the altar. A big wooden cross
stood there and it on lay the wooden statue of the crucified Christ. "Bless
me for I have sinned." Ben pleaded and kneeled before it. The silence gave
him no answer, but he hadn't expected it to. In his case believing didn't
require seeing.
"Forgive me." Ben pleaded. He was holding a golden pendant in
his hands - He was crushing it.
-
"We are leaving Ben. It has to
stop!" the girl said lifting her jaw all stubborn. Ben didn't know how he
could convince her; make her believe that all the bad things were in the past.
He glared around them before taking something
out that he'd hidden inside his clothes. It was a card he showed her. The
picture in the card was far too familiar even to Syl: It was the Blue Lady.
"Don't worry, she'll protect us." Ben
said trusting in his faith for the open hearted Saint. Yet Syl didn't see what
her brother did when looking at the card.
She crossed her hands to her chest shaking her
head in disbelief. "Did she protect Jack?" Syl asked feeling sorrow
for the loss of another brother.
She'd heard Max's story about where they'd
taken him - heard it so many times that she could even see him lying on the
steel desk skin turned pale while the men and women in white robes cut his
chest. Syl shivered unwillingly when thinking about the big knifes they'd had
on all of them during surgery. Ben put his arm around her to give comfort for
his closest sibling.
"You can't keep on relying on her,
Ben." Syl whispered the words so only Ben could hear them. Ben's loving
hazel eyes didn't show any sign of anger or disappointment, when he closed her
hand in his.
"She's just weak." His tender voice
explained. He was so innocent, so pure in his faith; Syl realized turning her
gaze from him. Her eyes were burning with tears, because she knew that someday
Ben would be ripped off that faith he held onto so tightly and it made her sad.
His faith was the source of his strength and once that was taken, he couldn't
help anyone anymore. He'd been their anchor for so long... and if he'd lose his
hope they'd all be lost.
"I'll make her strong. I promise that
baby sister." Ben vowed as Syl stared at the wall with her head pressed
against Ben's shoulder.
They'd be together forever. She vowed when
holding him. She'd never let anyone hurt him again...
-
Mistakes... there were so many mistakes.
Ben turned his head away letting the shame take over. "We should've
stayed together." He said to himself. Images, memories ran through his
head like the rain. But they didn't go away. He remembered his siblings:
Zack, their leader, he would always look down on Ben like he was worried.
Jondy, who was always there to cover his back and bring victory to their team. She'd been competing and when others had been ready to
give up, it'd been Jondy lifting them up time after time.
Eva, the sister now lost forever. She would listen to his stories for
hours and beg him to explain the things none of them was able to understand.
Ben remembered Tinga's warm smile, when she offered her support to
others. She was the strong one always making peace and bringing order.
Max... Ben had caught Max awake at nights so many times glaring out the
window. He'd cheered her up with stories to make her dark thoughts disappear. Still
whenever he thought about Max, he felt strange. Those dark long glares she'd
given him whenever he'd come to cheer her up... they still kept his heart from
beating.
Brin was only kid, who'd been able to take Ben's challenges. She'd been
eager to test their skills through fights and Brin had always believed his
stories to be true. In a way they'd been alike.
Although Zane, Krit, Jack and the others would keep to themselves, they
still gathered around him to hear about the Blue Lady, but Syl...
Syl was his 'little sister', closer than anyone. Still she wasn't a
believer, because she wouldn't listen to his stories or ask about the blue
lady. Syl always looked after him even though she kept away from the others
when he told them stories.
Holding the pendant brought memories to him. How they had found it during
training. How the janitor gave a sick kid the icon of the blue lady and his
seizure stopped. The pendant he carried was the same that they had found.
She's beautiful.
The blue lady. Who is she?
"She'll protect us." Ben whispered to answer Zack's and Max's
voices in his memory.
He stepped away from the light still holding the pendant close to his
heart. For a few seconds his thoughts were filled with the pain from his
childhood and Ben just stared at the glass painting.
Then the moment was gone. Ben heard steps coming his way and he vanished
inside the shadows by the wall. For a second Ben looked elsewhere so he could
blend into the darkness better, but when he turned to look back his heart
stopped and he couldn't stop staring at the wondrous sight opening before his
eyes.
He could see a woman standing in front of the altar. She was engulfed in
heavenly light that the blue windows filtered over her fragile figure and like
a saint she glow the purest light he'd ever seen. It was like he was seeing the
picture in the card for the first time and his heart was changed by it.
The light was deceiving Ben as it came behind her making it seem like she
was glowing. Where everyone else would've seen just a young woman, Ben saw
something else.
"The blue lady." he whispered to himself continuing to look at
her.
-