FALL 2005 - EXODUS-TABLELAND SERIES RD4: COBRA EMPIRE Pre Race WEATHER: Temperature: 25 Cs/77 Fs. Wind Factor: 5. Overall: Fine. The 2-wheeler leg will start in the capital of the Cobra Empire, Vector Imperial Capital, at the height of rush hour. Given the lack of natural obstacles within city limits, the citizens' will go about their daily life, interrupted only by fast-moving furry-feathered small mammals, meaning racers will have to contend with traffic, pedestrians and road works. The police will be commanded to ignore properly identified racers so they will not be stopped. The 4-wheeler leg circles the foot of Cobra Mountain. There are destroyed cars from previous races and unfortunate civilians, pit falls, falling rock zones and a waterfall coming from the peak of Cobra Mountain. For the 0x circuit, racers will have to make their way from the foot of Cobra Mountain to the rally leg, some 500km further south. This is the fairly easy part of the race: rolling hills, soft turns, long stretches of straight track, covering mostly farm country with barely any traffic. The R-wheeler circuit, The Sidewinder, will be held on part of the Cobra Mountain chain, south from Cobra Mountain, where normal Cobran citizens go offroading and hold hill climb challenges. The course will be divided into two parts. The offroad has many paths due to use by civilians and has no right or wrong way to go. The hill climb is a grueling 70 degree, 52 metre (157 feet) vertical climb, which racers simply have to make it to the top of. If for some reason racers cannot take the climb, they can take the 19.2 kilometre (12 mile) trip around the cliff face to get back on track. This is sure to be an exciting race as FMR returns to its birthplace in The Tableland, which it has not visited since the MarmaCup. With a wind rating of 5, tyres will be of key importance today. Given Chicanada TroutCo Racing make their debut today at 5 PM on the best suited T/AG gear, Dickson, it will be interesting to see if they make their mark on FMR today. 2 Wheeler Alejo Zaragoza has failed to make his mark on the grand prix. He is already out of contention after snapping his 2-wheeler in half over an unlucky Cobra citizen's back. Zaragoza is fine but the citizen is not, paralyzed from the waist down. El Equipo de Dulces are now looking into a settlement with the unfortunate bystander. Frankie Nit-problem has already roared to the lead in this grand prix. After several slow weeks for Oodgtastic Racing, Nit-problem is ready to reestablish Oodgtastic's dominance and get them back to a +100 point lead. Pimpy McBling follows, in what's been a small turnaround of form of late for his Meadowbank outfit. James Pimpanzee was last week in the same position and finished seventh overall. Nirvana McGee is out to show he's no slowass, cruising into third in an effort to establish the 8 Fold Path as a team to be reckoned with, after a reasonable but not fantastic start to FMR. Alya Baisar, riding the strength of the Modeni engine, has moved into fourth and Princess Shirvine, attempting to capture something of last season's glory, is fifth, looking for a way past Baisar, with only twelve hundredths of a second separating the two. A battle to watch in the long race ahead. Top five at the conclusion of the 2x leg: 1. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) 2. Pimpy McBling (Meadowbank Boy Racers) 3. Nirvana McGee (8 Fold Path) 4. Alya Baisar (Strongbadian Fist Dragon) 5. Princess Shirvine (MIF-Ardent Antagonists) 4 Wheeler In Kingtown National Racework's fifteenth grand prix since its inception mid last-season, Quigiy has provided the team with its fifth DNF. Quigiy seemed to have lost his mind when he pulled over by the waterfall, got out and went for a swim. No driver has ever left their vehicle mid-race and expected to return. Quigiy tried to do so but the marshalls disqualified him. Later, it was revealed that Quigiy had a terrible case of fleas and couldn't face another three or four hours with them there and wisely decided to get rid of them. A team that has proved to be somewhat of an oddity is the Swiss Mix. Good but not good enough to take the lead in any sort of dominating fashion. Charlotte "Vendetta" White hopes to make that a thing of the past, finishing the single lap of Cobra Mountain first, with a twenty second lead over debutant Fedak of the Chicanada TroutCo Racing squad, who has stunned critics to be anywhere near the lead. Someway back, and even more stunning, is Sam from St Heliers Sykers. Finding a good patch of form recently, finishing fifth in VB and fourth in Avolon, Sam could go one better again and finish third here in the Cobra Empire. If that's the case, one has to wonder how long away their maiden victory will be and if they can salvage themselves a Major League spot for next season from what has so far been a pretty disastrous start to FMR for the team. Top five at the conclusion of the 4x leg: 1. Charlotte White (Swiss Mix) 2. Fedak (Chicanada TroutCo Fishing) 3. Sam (St Heliers Sykers) 4. Nirvana McGee (8 Fold Path) 5. Baracuda (Snakes Coil Racing) 0 Wheeler A few bumps along the road to FMR success are to be expected, especially for n00b teams like the Chicanada TroutCo Racing team. Loralee Bogin, an Australian Marmaduke, suffered a strange brake failure. While brake failures aren't that unusual, usually resulting in the driver ending up in water, the odd aspect of this is that the brakes didn't appear to be snapped, rather they were cut. If the MSA finds out who did this, they will surely pay dearly. After stringing several good races together, Flo Knellinger is also out after succumbing to a basic law of nature: what goes up, comes down. FMR T/AG (stands for Tyres/Anti-Gravity, by the way) gear is designed to act reflexively against the gravitational field of the earth. It is also subject to the inverse square law: the more you increase the distance, the lift decreases by fourfold. At some point in the stratosphere, Knellinger realised this was the case when the T/AG gear stopped providing lift. More physics entered this equation as one considers the velocity of a superstreamlined object, nose-diving toward the ground for around 10 000 metres, over thirty or so seconds, as compared to the stopping power of the planet's surface. Granted, the T/AG gear did kick back in and slowed Knellinger down somewhat, but judging by the fact Knellinger had to be dug out from fourteen metres of dirt, she was probably not going to continue. And some other Marmaduke failed to finish...the Other Guy from Rio Racing, I guess. A pretty full-on and rev-crunching drive from Nirvana McGee saw him improve on his Rhellis record of third to take the lead in the Cobra Empire GP. Fedak is still going strong and showing no signs of cut brakes nor any greenhornery in second place, followed by Reece Jr of LSFR. Oberon, a name we don't hear that often, is in fourth, trying, for once, to outdo his far superior teammate in Franklin Roosevelt. Frankie Nit-problem is still holding on with a death grip to the top five. Top five at the conclusion of the 0x leg: 1. Nirvana McGee (8 Fold Path) 2. Fedak (Chicanada TroutCo Racing) 3. Reece Jr (Leaf Special Forces Racing) 4. Oberon (Knights of Avolon) 5. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) R Wheeler Looking at the results, you may well ask "Huh? What the...?" Well no, its not a mistake. Reece Jr did eat up that lead with a 'rested' VME engine and, amazingly, managed to scale the cliff face, despite the laws of physics that claimed Flo Knellinger's racer. Drivey McDriver followed him up the cliff face and into second place, followed by a Wreno-powered (which amazingly didn't give up and start pouring black smoke out everywhere) Sam, doing what all St Heliers fans had been waiting for, claiming the team's maiden podium. Fedak took the long way and lost two places but managed to close the gate on a fast finishing Jos Oxford, Liamist Racing Tech's golden boy. No one quite knows how Nirvana McGee finished seventh, after the second Chicanadan in the running, Carolin Bookhart, finished sixth and not making the same mistake as Fedak, but many seemed to think that it involved some sort of religious experience. Typical for a religion-based racing squad. Top twenty at the conclusion of the Rx leg and the grand prix: 1. Reece Jr (Leaf Special Forces Racing) - 60 pts 2. Drivey McDriver (Rio Racing) - 55 pts 3. Sam (St Heliers Sykers) - 50 pts 4. Fedak (Chicanada TroutCo Racing) - 45 pts 5. Jos Oxford (Liamist Racing Tech) - 40 pts 6. Carolin Bookhart (Chicanada TroutCo Racing) - 35 pts 7. Nirvana McGee (8 Fold Path) - 30 pts 8. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) - 25 pts 9. Oberon (Knights of Avolon) - 20 pts 10. Viper (Snakes Coil Racing) - 18 pts 11. Adalicia Carillo-Rodriguez (El Equipo de Dulces) - 15 pts 12. Bazza (Ancient Speed Demons) - 12 pts 13. Dahlyo (Akran Marmadukes) - 10 pts 14. Baracuda (Snakes Coil Racing) - 8 pts 15. Heinz (Keetorama) - 6 pts 16. Jeffrey Berkes (El Equipo de Dulces) - 5 pts 17. Sandy Duneby (Ancient Speed Demons) - 4 pts 18. James Pimpanzee (Meadowbank Boy Racers) - 3 pts 19. Silent Monk (8 Fold Path) - 2 pts 20. Jane Card (Swiss Mix) - 1 pt Post Race Another exciting race concludes as VBRW driver, Pierre de Beaumonde, one of the few drivers left to have not scored any points all season, pulls in at the top of the Sidewinder, sometime after 9 PM. Before we run away to next week's GP in Dulces, let's look at the standings. Tour Drivers sees Drivey McDriver, second today, grab the lead for Rio Racing in what's been a drought for the team. Second is Jos Oxford, building on last week's win with a fifth today, leaving him only four points behind McDriver. Third runs Sam from St Heliers Sykers, something no one ever thought would happen when they finished the last Tour with only seventeen points in total. Sam has already broken this five and a half times over, on his own. Overall and Frankie Nit-problem stills holds the lead with 170 points by a single point over Jos Oxford. This Tour could well be a turning point in the season as the LRT look strong enough to take down Oodgtastic Racing. Both drivers have crossed the 165 point threshhold (which is equivalent to a win, a second and a third) and are now joining Miss Piggy, Nestle and Delia Kovach in the MarmaCup at the end of this season. Third is a dark horse for overall honours, Drivey McDriver, who will need to prevent the wooden spoon form of last season from coming back to haunt him. In the Overall Teams standings, Oodges' Oodgtastic Racing still holds a big, big lead but one that is slowing coming down. Liamist Racing Tech is eating away at it slowly but still over 80 points away. Team Muhji still holds third with a big margin back to fourth placed Island Racing Squad. In the Tours honours, Liamist Racing Tech occupies second in every other standings except this one where they've taken the lead over St Heliers Sykers and the Island Racing Squad, which are respectively, second and third. SPLIT TIMES Car No 2x 4x 0x Rx 1 59.745 118.639 181.812 240.225 2 57.559 115.378 174.728 236.688 3 61.894 123.878 188.042 246.114 4 61.877 120.467 180.889 240.698 5 63.324 124.561 180.674 241.929 6 57.136 117.477 174.485 232.024 7 57.147 118.982 175.688 232.064 8 56.877 116.996 177.775 238.456 9 56.600 119.715 181.369 239.117 10 58.347 117.007 177.370 234.025 11 61.783 121.452 180.868 240.514 12 58.543 115.232 175.570 235.509 16 56.439 117.926 174.989 238.702 17 58.518 117.909 178.561 236.211 18 58.044 121.194 181.275 240.577 19 58.091 115.861 178.483 239.565 20 57.551 115.294 174.100 229.849 21 62.021 122.475 DNF 22 58.198 121.078 179.641 236.817 23 58.848 116.708 175.148 235.277 24 60.769 118.953 182.120 242.394 25 61.000 118.315 177.729 238.583 26 57.624 118.042 176.985 238.729 27 60.600 120.943 DNF 31 62.902 126.128 181.676 242.470 32 61.787 DNF 33 60.457 117.860 179.659 241.809 34 64.046 123.376 184.121 242.352 35 63.346 126.259 182.377 242.714 36 60.890 118.169 174.722 236.439 37 56.994 115.755 175.344 233.996 38 60.474 121.650 181.605 243.930 39 57.968 114.250 174.661 234.850 40 57.431 116.141 175.968 239.154 41 56.991 119.775 182.358 241.002 42 60.766 117.435 175.000 234.086 43 57.423 116.721 177.420 234.019 44 DNF 45 61.914 121.673 178.990 235.499 46 57.509 115.589 175.846 236.636 47 57.675 114.128 174.066 230.898 48 62.361 120.672 178.794 238.304 49 59.506 117.009 175.118 237.656 50 62.327 119.664 176.606 238.680 51 56.675 115.058 172.801 228.787 52 55.835 116.583 173.200 233.418 53 61.533 125.545 185.975 246.346 54 58.159 114.505 176.817 236.523 55 60.468 120.063 182.613 237.090 56 62.480 121.051 182.056 243.371 57 61.420 125.295 189.071 250.697 58 57.492 115.537 172.813 233.778 59 58.952 119.478 183.148 245.352 60 61.460 119.797 176.691 239.851 61 61.796 117.982 177.321 237.874 62 56.959 112.900 176.464 236.792 63 60.370 117.441 178.554 236.422 64 60.563 120.077 181.662 241.801 65 56.537 114.189 169.863 233.204 66 58.087 117.535 175.418 236.355 67 60.792 120.802 182.532 244.015 68 56.598 119.616 181.072 238.276 69 61.280 121.064 183.799 244.909 70 62.364 126.574 188.223 247.820 71 58.121 117.162 176.725 238.195 72 59.004 121.909 179.139 242.602 73 62.782 125.312 189.160 244.281 74 60.324 122.646 184.681 240.785 75 61.994 122.097 179.976 240.799 76 62.595 120.642 182.253 241.628 77 62.494 122.460 183.991 243.863 78 63.669 122.637 179.979 242.838 79 56.890 113.270 171.379 231.027 80 56.952 115.100 DNF 81 57.262 119.221 175.583 233.177