FALL 2005 - EXODUS-TABLELAND SERIES RD1: SWITZERSTAN Pre Race WEATHER: Temperature: 16 Cs/61 Fs. Wind Factor: 8. Overall: Overcast. "Switzerstan is a large island nation in the southern hemisphere with a warm, semi-tropical climate. It has a variety of environments - a tall mountain range divides the hotter northern half of the island into a rainforest/jungle to the west and an arid desert to the east. This desert progresses to a wide open grassland towards the southeast of the island, and west of the grassland is a wider but lower mountain range of rolling hills. The southwest portion of the island, between the two mountain ranges, features many temperate river valleys and some of Switzerstan's largest population centers. Great Landing is Switzerstan's largest city, its capital, and according to legend the site where the nation's fourteen founders first made landfall. Situated on the mouth of Life River, it is a bustling port metropolis that oversees a dizzying amount of commerce. The two-wheeler part of the race in and around the city will be on the high-speed commercial lanes where the limit is 280kph and the minimum allowed cruising speed is 150kph. It will be in traffic, but this will not be normal traffic. The Swiss Marmaduke League has reached a deal with the Truckers' Association: On the day of the race, many of the semis that will be in the area at race time will be fitted with advertisement-covered ramps. The expected profits will be considerable, and will be split between the Association and the drivers whose ramps are featured in the most popular replay clips. This means that drivers will fiercely compete to get into position for the two-wheelers to make spectacular jumps off their ramps. Already, coalitions are forming to work together to block lanes, set up double or triple jumps, or perhaps go into even more advanced configurations. The Mobius Strip is an intense, mind-bending course built specifically for FMR, but has also become a highly popular and lucrative recreational course for amateur drivers during the off-season. Almost all drivers either absolutely love it or absolutely hate it, and there are far more of the latter. The general layout, loosely, is of two long, intersecting figure eights with a skewed vertical loop at the center. The Mobius Strip is most famous for its huge drive-through house of mirrors (which are made of durable and shock-absorbent materials, capable of taking a 100kph impact from a 4-wheeler without even denting, and up to 200kph without cracking). The mazelike setup of the mirrors is modular and changed to a new configuration before every race. The Strip is also famous for its rotating bridge, its "slalom course", and the hairpin turns where the road slopes downward at the edges rather than up. At the central loop, an automatic mechanism latches the car to the track so it doesn't fall if it isn't going fast enough to make it all the way around. It also puts a resilient bumper-car-like frame around the front and back, so drivers can thwart those immediately behind them by stopping on the loop, using the energy from the collision to go all the way around, and the then-slowed opponent has to peel out onto a side track, turn around, and get up speed to try again. The Tumblebeetle Desert is named for its entomological inhabitants that latch together to form ball-like colonies that roll across the dry scrublands until they encounter suitable vegetation or other food, which they promptly devour. The 0-wheel segment of the race will start in these craggy scrublands of rock and dried dirt. There is no set course here, only checkpoints, and the drivers will have to navigate through or around the interlaced network of shallow ravines and canyons, and even the rare steep cliff face or mesa. As the race progresses into the central desert, the terrain will become smoother and sandier until rolling dunes stretch across the horizon in every direction. Here the checkpoints will be further apart, and it would be easy to get lost. The dunes appear to form wind-blown lines, but these can imperceptibly curve over long distances. Cars going over the sand will create an easily visible plume behind them, but if the cars in front get lost it is quite likely that the entire pack could be led astray. Mount Higgs is an incredible place. Not because of the sight of a lone, colossal mountain in the middle of the desert, but because it houses the central depository of the First Bank of Switzerstan. It's an ultra-high security facility, and the League had to make quite a few unfavorable deals with the Bank before being allowed access. Switzerstan's currency is still called the atom, but this is no longer meant only in the sense of elements like hydrogen or helium. Instead it is used in the sense of the smallest possible unit, the fundamental particles of mass or energy. The depository inside Mount Higgs stores unbelievable amounts of these particles in a series of hyperdense quantum condensates kept near a temperature of absolute zero. A portion of this material was gained from taking in vast quantities of water from the ocean - despite melting glaciers and icecaps, global sea level has remained relatively constant almost solely because of this activity. With a noticeable amount of the earth's mass stored in such a relatively small place, unusual gravitational effects begin to occur. Several tunnels go through the mountain, and at these close distances the percieved gravity can change by up to 8 Gs. The gravity well also attracts air pollutants and particulates from the surrounding areas, and has a similar weak effect on rain clouds. This combination results is a greasy sludge frequently coating the roads outside the facility. One of the most famous tunnels inside the mountain drops almost straight down near the summit, goes all the way down beneath the facility, and then uses the gravitational well to whip around, going almost straight up before leveling out on the opposite side," says the Switzerstan FMR GP PR department. Its pretty much the perfect explanation of the GP ahead of the drivers at noon today, racing under conditions that will favour eternal champions and the team some are calling "The Best Ever", Oodgtastic Racing. 2 Wheeler Most teams brought vehicles especially engineered to be able take great shocks without breaking. This means they could fly over the ramp-trucks, that are sure to make this grand prix one to remember, without obliterating them. Normally, at this point in the race, Rhellis National Racing, with their Modeni engines would be in control. This week, the usual high-finishing suspects made up the top five. Justin Sane from Strongbadian Fist Dragon took a solid lead, with Charlotte White and Pooder fighting it out for second. The Naginii Racing Group has their greatest success in the seventh grand prix of last season. Will Pooder or Milo or Fluffy be able to repeat that performance? Not with the likes of Heinz Spedston (Liamist Racing Tech) and the uberdominant Oodgtastic Racing’s Misamoto Kanapono chasing them, hungry for an early lead in this tour. Top five at the conclusion of the 2x leg: 1. Justin Sane (Strongbadian Fist Dragon) 2. Charlotte White (Swiss Mix) 3. Pooder (Naginii Racing Group) 4. Heinz Spedston (Liamist Racing Tech) 5. Misamoto Kanapono (Oodgtastic Racing) 4 Wheeler Only a handful of times in FMR history have one team taken a one-two lead. The Naginii Racing Group now joins the exclusive club with Pooder and Milo respectively in first and second place. Justin Sane dropped back, no doubt preparing to strike later, when he feels he can risk the engine. Charlotte White, on her home track, falls into line in fourth place, slipping back behind Sane. Frankie Nit-problem now joins Kanapono at the near front, waiting for an opportunity to strike and continue Oodgtastic Racing’s simply astonishing dominance in the last seven races. Amazingly enough, despite this amazingly complex course and probably this season’s equivalent to SP GP, no one has had to pull out of the race so far. All 78 drivers are still in the running. Top five at the conclusion of the 4x leg: 1. Pooder (Naginii Racing Group) 2. Milo (Naginii Racing Group) 3. Justin Sane (Strongbadian Fist Dragon) 4. Charlotte White (Swiss Mix) 5. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) 0 Wheeler Spoke too soon it seems, as a terrible sector for the Akran Marmadukes team concludes. Both Aalialti and Raskunn DNFed in a freak crash. Raskunn, ahead at the time, broke down with a simple and repairable problem. Aalialti came flying over a small dune, unaware her teammate was on the other side, ploughed into him and took them both out of the race. Pimpy McBling continues Meadowbank Boy Racers horror run this season, getting lost beyond all hope in the Desert and needing rescuing from the FMR HELP team. Stupidly following McBling into the Desert, Arch Rival also got lost but was able to make her way out, after six hours. Pete from Salaxia International had issues with their Modeni engine, somewhat overheated in the Desert, and on inspection later, full of Tumblebeetles. The Naginii Racing Group drivers are still pushing ahead, forging a strong lead that may well prove uncatchable. Although Oodgtastic Racing will certainly not lay down, as Frankie moves into third, displacing Heinz Spedston into fourth and Jane Card (Swiss Mix), taking over from Charlotte White, reserving a space for their team in the top five. Top five at the conclusion of the 0x leg: 1. Pooder (Naginii Racing Group) 2. Milo (Naginii Racing Group) 3. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) 4. Kik Marmington (Liamist Racing Tech) 5. Jane Card (Swiss Mix) R Wheeler A fairly mediocre season, by Marmington standards anyway, continues for Kik of Liamist Racing tech, after passing out in the extremely high gravity and ploughing into the tunnel wall, destroying the vehicle and giving Marmington a good rest. Rio Racing continue their fight against the Ancient Speed Demons in the Least Reliable stakes, taking back the lead with the teams tenth DNF in twenty seven races. The Other Guy, drunk on his sponsor’s products, failed to control his lightheadedness, reinforced with the strong gravity of Mt Higgs, passed out and also crashed, just like Kik Marmington. And the final DNF, in a surprisingly reliable grand prix, was King Dawndevil of the St Heliers Sykers. The Wreno engine, as it does a fifth of the time, just broke down under the strain and was unable to go on, spewing black smoke down the tunnel. Pooder managed to control the grand prix until the end, finishing with a 150 second lead over Oodgtastic Racing’s Frankie Nit-problem. Heinz, Keetorama’s second driver, came from nowhere to snatch the final podium position. Paul Herbert finished off an outstanding race for the Swiss Mix team on their home circuit, contributing forty-five of the teams eighty-eight points that they will take away from today. In fifth, Misamoto Kanapono was the second of the three Oodgtastic drivers to finish in the points, together garnering ninety-five points. Top twenty at the conclusion of the Rx leg and the grand prix: 1. Pooder (Naginii Racing Group) - 60 points 2. Frankie Nit-problem (Oodgtastic Racing) - 55 points 3. Heinz (Keetorama) - 50 points 4. Paul Herbert (Swiss Mix) - 45 points 5. Misamoto Kanapono (Oodgtastic Racing) - 40 points 6. Jane Card (Swiss Mix) - 35 points 7. Milo (Naginii Racing Group) - 30 points 8. Heinz Spedston (Liamist Racing Tech) - 25 points 9. Nakisha (ZoomTamamara) - 20 points 10. Buddha (8 Fold Path) - 18 points 11. Fluffy (Naginii Racing Group) - 15 points 12. Franklin Roosevelt (Knights of Avolon) - 12 points 13. Sleepy Justice (Rhellis National Racing) - 10 points 14. Charlotte White (Swiss Mix) - 8 points 15. Oberon (Knights of Avolon) - 6 points 16. Jeffrey Berkes (El Equipo de Dulces) - 5 points 17. Josef Detlaff (Team Muhji) - 4 points 18. Viper (Snakes Coil Racing) - 3 points 19. Justin Sane (Strongbadian Fist Dragon) - 2 points 20. Hans (Kingtown National Raceworks) - 1 point Post Race A stunningly organised and executed grand prix to go down in FMR history. Another hugely dominant performance from some of the biggest FMR outfits: Oodgtastic Racing, Naginii Racing Group and Swiss Mix, with all three teams, finishing all three drivers in the points. To the Championships, the Tour Driver Championship remains the same as the finishing order in the grand prix. In the Overall, the three Oodgtastic Racing drivers form the top three drivers, with Deliva Kovach following into fourth off the back of a quiet GP and Pooder in fifth, separated only on total time. In Tour Teams Championship, the Naginii Racing Group runs out front with a slim ten point lead over Oodgtastic Racing, who we are sure to hear more of. Third runs Swiss Mix, Keetorama falling into fourth, hoping to improve on a weak last Tour. Overall, Oodgtastic Racing has obviously got an enormous lead of nearly two hundred points over Swiss Mix and Liamist Racing Tech. Team Muhji and Naginii Racing Group are fighting a close battle for fourth. Next week, we continue our Exodus-Tableland Series in Via Bestiae, on what we understand to be the leader’s birthday. SPLIT TIMES Car No 2x 4x 0x Rx 1 60.193 120.689 178.457 236.711 2 59.082 114.023 172.410 235.636 3 56.426 112.623 169.434 229.818 4 57.603 118.470 173.383 DNF 5 57.016 119.095 177.671 235.667 6 63.459 125.677 182.017 239.414 7 62.943 125.395 DNF 8 63.102 123.190 182.524 240.281 9 63.531 120.554 181.568 243.850 10 63.669 123.704 183.744 242.095 11 61.959 126.399 186.333 244.812 12 59.007 123.207 181.312 239.573 13 60.364 116.530 179.526 239.139 14 57.791 115.791 176.108 237.274 15 60.290 119.365 181.144 241.145 16 59.087 118.471 DNF 17 61.619 123.760 183.428 247.288 18 59.244 118.426 181.603 242.752 19 60.016 118.111 176.986 241.274 20 58.448 120.794 178.394 241.823 21 60.776 122.372 179.171 DNF 22 64.396 128.493 189.234 250.276 23 57.765 116.731 176.476 232.947 24 60.385 119.594 183.819 240.725 25 58.975 123.433 185.481 247.814 26 62.279 127.126 183.919 242.157 27 59.719 120.813 183.575 245.784 28 60.474 116.222 178.275 238.438 29 57.929 120.173 183.291 243.882 30 60.803 116.447 177.489 235.858 31 62.714 126.078 188.407 252.094 32 63.163 123.006 184.292 242.755 33 58.802 121.679 180.278 238.408 34 58.718 119.118 178.151 240.486 35 61.812 123.992 186.669 248.511 36 63.427 125.218 185.853 246.659 37 61.674 120.916 178.289 238.098 38 58.200 120.658 180.816 240.626 39 59.294 117.379 181.010 241.262 40 58.181 120.501 DNF 41 60.796 118.254 DNF 42 58.268 120.534 183.235 242.398 43 63.895 124.396 184.135 246.934 44 60.128 123.659 184.232 243.317 45 58.398 117.651 175.997 237.804 46 64.241 128.022 188.096 DNF 47 62.744 125.674 185.181 246.286 48 58.939 120.992 184.873 249.135 49 62.290 120.536 182.255 243.825 50 60.328 121.259 181.685 240.692 51 59.092 120.275 177.853 239.646 52 58.353 115.586 173.106 232.382 53 62.225 118.882 179.270 240.693 54 57.595 116.599 176.939 234.739 55 57.606 120.438 179.578 239.907 56 63.315 121.180 184.847 246.315 57 62.131 121.484 181.925 242.394 58 59.818 117.659 175.617 237.592 59 62.568 123.450 182.268 244.618 60 58.977 115.681 178.210 237.238 61 60.319 115.873 175.594 233.632 62 56.283 114.879 178.055 237.310 63 61.561 117.359 174.523 235.429 64 58.786 117.272 176.277 236.138 65 61.077 121.909 180.140 239.858 66 61.167 123.086 179.533 239.416 67 55.533 114.121 178.768 238.383 68 61.402 122.657 186.343 250.997 69 59.346 121.213 180.110 242.954 70 61.217 119.438 DNF 71 58.824 122.917 180.893 239.390 72 60.157 124.593 186.304 244.851 73 64.110 124.697 184.379 242.125 74 58.575 121.674 178.497 237.855 75 62.438 125.634 184.928 241.446 76 62.252 123.319 184.383 245.923 77 60.439 119.604 178.485 240.377 78 59.948 122.205 184.096 245.619