Once upon a time, in the mystical land of Northshire, a young man named Alteren was sitting inside of his home. The sun was setting on another day, and the nightly routine was beginning for young Alteren.
The decision on what to eat for dinner was tough, but the microwave pizza won a very close dinner roll over the Uncle Ben�s rice bowl and Spaghettios. He threw the microwave pizza into his Uber Oven the Eagle. Within twenty minutes a dining experience so good that when eating it, one might feel as if their guild had finally slain Ragnaros or even the all powerful Hogger.
Upon completion of the meal, young Alteren reached for is usual snack, the bag of Epic Pretzels, and sat down on his Super Comfy Couch of Nature Resistance (read what you will into that buff) and turned on his Flat Screen Television of Great Price and Few Channels. It was almost time for the most OMGWTFBBQPWN!!!! show in all of the land, AZEROTH�S MOST WANTED.
Of course, the usual crap about some guy named Evilsteve raping squirrels was on as Alteren thought to himself �WTF CAN WE GO FASTER!!!!!!� Then, it came to the good stuff. Apparently there was some WTFST00PID Troll running around Ironforge. The program pointed out that the lag in Ironforge is bad enough without the Horde running around. The worst part of the story was that no one was bothering to do anything about it. The show ended shortly after, and the closing lines of the host, none other than Marshall Dughan, were �We want YOU to be a warrior in Azeroth!�
Alteren, being the altogether smart and never wrong about silly hunches, decided to answer that call. He decided to leave his Northshire home one day to become a warrior (His parents were about to kick him out any way. After packing up all of his belongings, he set out on what would be one of the longest and most arduous journeys of his life....
...thus far. It turns out he lived right next door to Northshire Abbey, his destination.
It was there he began his training with the Stormwind guard. It was long and hard, but he finally reached level 1 and was able to set out on his own.
He began to find and destroy any hooligans, scallywags, and other bringers of malicious shenanigans that he could locate. First, the might Garrick Padfoot fell to the blade of Alteren. As time went on, Alteren moved to tougher foes. He eventually destroyed even the mighty Hogger who turned out to be nothing more than a glorified squirrel.
Then one day, he realized it reached level 20, the pinnacle of Azerothian mastery. He had heard of a vile foe named Edwin VanCleef (or �Eddie� as Alteren liked to call him). If he could slay this foe, he would surely become one of Azeroth�s most talked about legends.
It became obvious that Eddie could not be killed in one on one competition. Alteren thought of challenging him to a game of Backgammon or Parcheesi, but he decided that he would rather splatter Eddie all over the Deadmines. He began to look for help. The first few attempts with others were just as bad as him trying it on his own.
Through a series of events so important and cataclysmic that would shake the very world forever, Alteren was put in contact with a gnome named Piddly and a dwarf named Grablen. The two were rather short, strange, and appeared to be severely delusional; however, they too had a desire to take down Eddie. With his new companions by his side, Alteren charged back to find Eddie. This new, WTFWEPWNEDVC group was able to put a stop to the madness once and for all.
He grew to become friends with the two, began suffering from sever delusions himself, and helped them to create madness, destruction, and most importantly UBERNESS throughout the world of Azeroth.
And thus, the modern Alteren was born. This legendary being still walks the entire world, always searching�for truth�justice�probably just a new joke to tell.