Where The Streets Have No Name

Jessica Massey

January 15, 2006

Chapter 5: Despair

Darkness. Utterly wretched darkness. Where am I? Is this perhaps the afterlife? Maybe I shouldn't have forsaken the gods. I feel no pain, only a mind-blowing numbness. I hear a sound. It's heart-achingly familiar. I should know what it is, but it seems to have slipped my memory at the moment. It makes me sad to hear it though for some reason. A terrible feeling is working it's way through my body. Not pain, but a feeling. A feeling that tells me I should know what's going on, that I should remember. I can't. I've never known such a feeling of despair. Slowly I try to open my eyes. I'm not really sure if they're opened or closed. I feel triumphant with the realization that I can open my eyes. It is a few minutes more before I'm able to look around. The first thing that greets me is the moon overhead. Ah, the moon. Now I am positive that I'm alive. Alive? But wait, that's not what I wanted to happen. Is it? The memories overcome me in a torrent of pain and sadness. Maybe I should have kept my eyes closed. That sound is there again. I find that now I can move my head, so I turn to the source of the sound. The ocean. Waves. Avalon... I wanted to be with you again so badly. Damn fate. Damn it all.

I realize now that I have been washed ashore on some foriegn beach. I haven't the slightest clue as to where. It is not my Freya's shore. How long have the waves carried me? Something tells me that the moon could show me. I look up. It's only half there. Many days the waves have bore me safely to this shore. Water. Food. That is all my body can think about now. Unsteadily I stand up. Glancing down I see that I'm all still here. My clothes are wet and nasty but I was alive. Wait, again I think that alive is not how I wanted to be, but seeing as I was I needed water and some food. My first steps are shaky and uncertain, but soon I regain my balance. I'm sure food would help that too. Without even so much as a glance back to the ocean I walk towards the forest not too far from where I'm standing. Maybe I should have looked back. Maybe I would have seen you there. I know you are the reason I'm here. You always were the wisest of us. Thank you my friend.