AAQOTD

Advice of the day (January 20-26):
January 20-
If a pirate named "Cap'n Crunch" wants you to come aboard his ship to eat his cereal...RUN!!!
January 21-
If a little leprechaun offers you some "Lucky" Charms...RUN!!!
January 22-
If a white bunny with glazed eyes offers you money for some Trix...take the money and RUN!!!
January 23-
If a Tiger named "Tony" offers you some of his cereal and claims they're "Grrrreeeaaatttt!"...RUN!!!
January 24-
If a dodo bird keeps saying that he goes 'koo-koo' for Cocoa Puffs and you just happen to have a bowl of it in your hands...throw the bowl at him and RUN!!!
January 25-
If a blue Toucan named "Uncle Toucky" asks you to 'come to the back room to eat some Fruitloops',...use pepperspray on him and RUN!!!
January 26-
If a bumblebee keeps trying to get you to eat Cheerios to 'help lower your cholesterol',...smack him with a fly swatter and RUN!!!
Quote of the day (January 27-February 2)
January 27-
"Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know, don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go."
January 28-
"Don't walk ahead of me for I may not follow, don't walk behind me for I may not lead. Don't walk beside me either, just leave me alone!"
January 29-
"Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in true romance."
January 30-
"True love is when you're in a 10 car pile up and you wake up in the hospital screaming hysterically because you don't know what happened or where you are and even after the doctors shoots you up with every tranquilizer known to man you still won't calm down and yet the very second "he" comes into the room, everything is alright in the world again and you immediately relax. And that's when you know."
January 31-
"True love is not knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, but simply knowing that you cannot live without them."
February 1-
"They say that if you can open up a Starburst with your tongue then you're a good French kisser. Well, I guess I'm not. But I seem to be pretty good with my hands!"
February 2-
"Boys are like stars.There are a million of them but only one can make all of my dreams come true."
Advice of the day (February 3-9):
February 3-
Don't drink and drive...you might hit a bump and spill it.
February 4-
Don't drink and park...accidents cause people.
February 5-
If you get pulled over by a cop and he says something along the lines of "Your eyes look a little bloodshot; have you been drinking?"...do NOT say "Officer, your eyes look a little glazed; have you been eating donuts?"
February 6-
Feeling lonely? Just remember that beer has been helping ugly people get laid since 1879!
February 7-
If a cop pulls you over and you find yourself saying "But ocifer, I'm sotally tober. I'm not as trunk as you drink I am."...drive away FAST!!!
February 8-
If you come home and your parents ask you if you're drunk...do NOT laugh and saying something like "No, of course not-I'm only tipsy! I left after I won the wet t-shirt contest!"
February 9-
If you go to a party and wake up in a cheap, run down motel next to a total stranger and you find a plastic wedding ring on your finger...take his wallet and RUN!!!
Quote of the day (February 10-16):
February 10-
"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you-now that was completely beyond my control."
February 11-
"Never bet on sports, women, or the weather. They're all too unpredictable."
February 12-
"They say you only fall in love once, but I say it isn't true. I would know, because I fall in love all over again everytime I look at you."
February 13-
"Star light, star bright; where the heck is Mr. Right?"
February 14-
"Kiss me and you shall see stars; love me and I'll give them to you."
February 15-
"Kiss me twice; I'm schitzophrinic."
February 16-
"Every passion has its price."
Advice of the day (February 17-23)
February 17-
Don't ever think you can change a man, unless he wears diapers.
February 18-
Men are like condoms, once you use then, just throw them away. Repeat procedure.
February 19-
Men are like floor boards, if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them.
February 20-
Men are like computers, you have to turn them on to get them working.