| THE QUOTE PAGE! Funny Quotes Made By Jaymi / Sappy Quotes By Jeni |
| Click To Go To Sappy Quotes Funny Quotes ~It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese. -Carl Sagan ~I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere. -Unknown ~The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. -e e cummings ~'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' -Leslie Nielsen, as Lieutenant Frank Drebin, "Police Squad" ~There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.-Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) ~Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. -Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi ~Weather forecast for tonight: dark. -George Carlin ~America is a mistake, a giant mistake. -Sigmund Freud ~In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.-Rita Rudner ~Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.-Erma Bombeck ~I am not young enough to know everything.-Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ~Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. -Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ~Hope is a thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without words And never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson ~It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.-Darrin Weinberg ~Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.-Wernher von Braun ~There is not left or right, only upwards and onwards. ~Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.-Rich Cook ~Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!-Tommy Smothers ~I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?-Ronnie Shakes ~Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.-P. J. O'Rourke ~Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary ~"All men are idiots, and I married their king." ~"Discourage inbreeding - Ban Country Music." ~"Nyquil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine." ~"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken." ( Im sorry i know this is an insult to girls but u gotta admit its funny!) |
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