SCZZEC Magazine September 2002

Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump died and was sent on his way to Heaven.
Upon his arrival, a concerned St Peter met Forrest at the Pearly Gates.
�I�m sorry, Forrest,� St Peter said, �but Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an entrance exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.
There are three questions,� said St Peter. �The first is: which two days of the week start with the letter T?
�The second is: How many seconds are there in a year?�
�The third is: What was the name of the swagman in the song Waltzing Matilda?�
�Now,� said St Peter, �think about these questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.�
So Forrest went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought.
The following morning, St Peter called upon Forrest and asked if he had considered the questions, to which Forrest replied: �I have.�
�Well then,� said St Peter, �which two days of the week start with the letter T?� Forrest said: �Today and tomorrow.�
St Peter pondered this answer for some time and decided that indeed the answer could be applied to the questions.
�Well then, Forrest, could I have your answer to the second questions,� St Peter went on. �How many seconds in a year?�
Forrest replied: �Just 12!�
�Only 12?� exclaimed St Peter. �How did you arrive at that?�
�Easy,� said Forrest. �There�s the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of 12 seconds.�
St Peter looked at Forrest and said: �I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you my decision,� and he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to Forrest. �I�ll allow the answer to stand, Forrest, but you need to get the third and final question exactly correct.
Now Forrest, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in the song Waltzing Matilda?�
Forrest replied: �Of the three questions I found this the easiest to answer. It�s Andy.�
This totally floored St Peter and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer.
Finally he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to Forrest, he asked:
�Forrest, how in God�s name did you arrive at the name Andy?�
�Easy,� said Forrest. �Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled...�

And Forrest entered Heaven.

Anthony and Robyn van de Water have worked six days a week for the last seven and a half years at their business BASIS in Renwick.
They supply car parts and accessories for pre-1970 vehicles, specialising in parts for vintage cars and more modern classics. They set up shop in a disused service station on the main road, and finding the business couldn�t sustain itself on its own, added a modern car parts retail arm to supplement their income.
The van de Waters employed one part-time staff member, but with 6500 stock items and orders coming in from throughout New Zealand and Australia, found they had little spare time to improve the way their business runs.
�The problem being a small business is you are so busy running it you can miss opportunities,� says Anthony van de Water.
Earlier this year, they decided to introduce a point-of-sale computerised accounting system to save time and give them better information on their finances.
�Capital in the business is low and we have to budget all the time, adjusting to changing priorities.�
Despite some difficulties getting the system up and running - when the computer crashed one day they lost 130 invoices - they are confident it will improve the management of the business.
Anthony van de Water has also recently undertaken a free BIZ training course on information technology.
Assisted by the training, he will set up a website for the business so that part orders can be made over the internet rather than by traditional mail-order catalogues. He says this will allow him to further develop his markets in Australia.
�Our import costs have increased, the New Zealand dollar has not gone back up, and so we must look to exporting.
Using the internet for marketing and ordering is the most cost-effective way.�
Anthony says the training gave him a better understanding of how computer systems work and was particularly useful for establishing a website.
�It made me sit back and think about things a bit more. There was quite a cross-section of small businesses on the course and each seemed to be getting something out of it.
Having the course coming to our own place of business helped us get the most out of the training. It was perfect for us.�
The van de Waters began the business after Anthony retired as an airforce photographer.
It was a case of a hobby becoming a business.
He owned a 1954 Triumph TR, 1958 Austin Healey Sprite and 1960 Austin Healey 3000.
At a car swap meet at Pukekohe he heard of the business opportunity.
The couple have five main competitors in the country, but say their level of stock holding and broad customer base give their business a competitive advantage.
While many of BASIS�s customers are private individuals, this is changing.
There is a growing motor trade business in the country, which imports wrecks of vintage and classic cars, and restores them for export.
BASIS�s extensive stockholding of accessories and parts ranges from leather flying jackets and British racing goggles to window seals and wing mirrors.
Its shop includes a library of car manuals and owner�s handbooks, and a display area is being fitted out to look like a 1960s service station.
The van de Waters would like to spend more time promoting their business at swap meets around the country.
Longer term, with time savings and increased revenue from their IT initiatives, they want to get back to their hobby.

This month will be a busy Zephyr month, with the Christchurch run on 23 September, organised by Bruce Bishop, to Auto Restorations. For anyone lacking motivation to keep up the restoration of their Zephyr, this might be your opportunity to get back on track.
This year the Alexandra Blossom Festival is on 27/28 September and the annual pilgrimage will be leaving on Friday for a run weekend in Central Otago.
Last month the magazine featured fridge magnets for the full Ford Zephyr, Zodiac and Consul models. I was talking to Mike Constantine about these and they look great set out on a tray. I believe they will be very collectable. Well done, Mike.
If any members have something interesting to contribute to the magazine - funny story, pics of other members doing silly things, or an article about their Z-car, please contact our editor, Carol Bell, or myself.

Happy Zephyring

Bob Stevens
President

Casino bus trip 24 August

About 30 people joined the bus trip to the Christchurch Casino, including two birthday boys, one complete with balloons.
Club members joined us at Hinds and Chertsey, just in time for the northward stop at Dunsandel pub.
We spent a short time there having a drink and stocking up on the famous Dunsandel pies.
At the casino we each headed for our favourite way to throw money away - tables, machines, bars.
Several members had a very enjoyable meal at the Oxford on Avon and spent some time strolling around the central city, while others ate at the casino.
We met again at 11pm in varying degrees of wealth, although no-one seemed too poor or inordinately rich.
Our stop at the way home was at the Rakaia hotel and we were safely delivered to our houses some time after 2am.
Thanks to our wonderful bus driver Bruce. It was a great night.

We garaged it for about two years to see if any rust reappeared, then had it undercoated and painted. This was done by Noel Brady�s in Timaru
The bumper bars and over-riders were all rechromed by Chrome Platers of Timaru.
Trevor Robinson from our Timaru club fitted all the chrome strips to the car once the painting was completed. New rubbers were put around windows. The roof lining was replaced and new carpets put in. This was done by Nigel Duffell, an upholsterer from Christchurch.
The seats and door arms are in Christchurch being done at present.
The door panels have just recently been recovered and chrome-trimmed. This has been done by Daniel Batchelor of Timaru, also an upholsterer.
If anyone is thinking about getting door panels done they are welcome to come and see the Zodiac. We are very happy with the work that he�s done.

Do you keep falling asleep at meetings? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here�s a way to change all that!!!

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar or conference call prepare your Bullshit Bingo card by drawing a square...
5in x 5in is a good size. Divide it into 25 squares and write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergyenabler core competencies best practises, bottom line, revisit, take that off-line, 11/9, out of the loop, benchmark,
value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the square, fast track, result-driven, knowledge base, empower (or empowerment), at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus, (ed) ballpark, game plan.

2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout �BULLSHIT�.

Testimonials from satisfied Bullshit Bingo players:

�I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won!� - Jack W, Beehive, Wellington
�The atmosphere was tense in the last meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box� - Ben G, Auckland
�My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically!� - David D, Nelson
�The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed �BULLSHIT� for the third time in two hours!� - Kathleen L, Christchurch