SCZZEC Magazine November 2002

More accident reports from Norwich Union

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:

Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo

�On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn�t give way.�

�Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo.�

�Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming to apologise.
Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms and the first slapped me several times across the face. I kneed the man in the groin, but didn�t connect properly, so I kicked him in the shin.�

�I was going at about 70 or 80mph when my girlfriend on the pillion became amorous so I lost control.�

�I didn�t think the speed limit applied after midnight.�

From the Ground Crew

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some logged maintenance complaints by Qantas pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.
By the way, Qantas is supposedly the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and S for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produced a 200fpm descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That�s what they�re there for!

The cars were parked and chairs and coffee were unloaded.
It was good to catch up with everyone on a Sunday run.

Most cars and members made their own way back - some stopping off at various places, but enjoying the fine weather and scenery.

October saw two runs being held - one in Ashburton and the other to Peel Forest.
The year is slipping by very quickly now, with the Moeraki trip on Sunday, 17 November - check the coming events for details.

This will be a day run leaving at 9.30am. It would be great if our Oamaru members could join this run, as it is in your area.
The club Christmas party is on at the Greyway Lounge on 7 December, so mark your diary - this will be another good night.

During the summer we intend to have a run to Twizel staying the night. At this stage this will be mid January, but more about that in the next magazine.
That�s all from me.

Bob Stevens
President

Ashburton trip

The 6th October must have been a busy weekend for most of the South Canterbury members, but our northern members had a great day, with a run to Lake Hood, lunch at Bill and Nancy Ridder�s, then a run out to a llama breeding farm, where they were entertained by the owner on his electric piano.

They then went on to the Plains Museum and had a run on the railcar.
From the members who attended come reports of a great weekend. It started on the Saturday night with a get-together at the MSA Club for drinks, dinner and some old-time dancing.

Well done, Geoff and Bill. Maybe next time we will get the timing right and have a better turnout.

Ten cars and members turned out for an impromptu run organised by Bob Stevens. If we missed you on the ring-around, maybe we couldn�t contact you - many apologies.

The run left from Timaru Motors in great weather - Mk I and Mk II convertibles both with their tops down. We travelled west through the rolling countryside to Pleasant Point, then across country to Geraldine where Colin and Trish Johnston joined for the rest of the run out to Peel Forest.

An early Consul convertible:
Built by Carbodies of Coventry, the convertible was previewed in Zephyr form at the 1951 Motor Show, but poor structural rigidity meant that production did not get fully under way until 1953 when an underfloor X-shaped bracing member had been developed.

The Coronation Year Motor Show saw the fully-developed Zephyr Convertible with electro-hydraulically operated hood in pride of place on the Carbodies stand at Earls Court.
Alongside is the Consul Convertible with manual hood.
The more expensive Zephyr Convertible was more popular, with 4048 produced against 3749 Consuls.

In the 1950s Ford estate cars were converted by coachbuilders Abbott of Farnham, who removed the boot lid and rear window of the saloon body, extended the roof and fitted rear side panels and tailgate.
This is a 1959 Low-Line Consul Estate.

These 1957 Consuls both carry licence plates that indicate they are registered under the Home Delivery Export Scheme, in which overseas visitors could take delivery of a new Ford, use it on holiday in Britain, then export it free of UK tax.

Despite wearing period crossplies of various assorted makes, the big Vauxhall trundles round corners as if it�s running on the proverbial rails. On the straights, too, it just surges forward with the irresistible force of a steam engine.

Although the Mark I Fords have something of a reputation for being fine driving machines, it obviously wasn�t founded on this example. Tyre-scrubbing understeer sets in early on corners and demands constant alertness from the driver if he�s not to end up head-to-head with the oncoming traffic.
Our test car was fitted with American radial tyres: a classic case of an older car unsuited to radials?

The Vauxhall�s steering also feels light and precise compared with the Zephyr Zodiac�s, but at least the Ford has an accessory knob fitted to the wheel, so you can wind on the lock one-handed in sharp bends, like a tram driver applying the brakes.

What a shame that there are so few E-series Crestas about. With its performance, roominess, good handling and sheer style, it would make an excellent and unusual historic rally car!

You could just about use either car as daily transport, although you�d probably find it quite hard work if you do a lot of miles.
Of the two examples here, the Vauxhall would be much easier to cope with long-term, but you�d be living in constant fear of poor weather - which means rust - and poor drivers, which could mean damage to irreplaceable panels and chrome.
Parts for the Ford don�t exactly grow on trees either, but are a little easier to find than Vauxhall metal.

Being family saloons, it will come as no surprise to hear that you can carry a fair-sized family and their luggage in either car. Mind you, both Ford and Vauxhall have solid metal facias, fixed steering columns and lots of sharp protuberances ideally situated to cause maximum injury in an accident, so for day-to-day use a tatty Volvo estate might be a better idea.

A three-speed gearbox and 2.6-litre engine is not a good recipe for fuel economy, either, although both cars should return mpg figures in the mid-twenties.

If such things worry you, though, you shouldn�t be looking at cars with this sort of style in the first place.
Realistically, they are better suited to high days and holidays than daily warfare in the concrete jungle.

Verdict

At the risk of upsetting Ford fans - and there are a lot of them - I have to say that the Cresta drives, handles, and (to my eyes) looks a whole lot better than the much-hyped Zephyr Zodiac. Quite simply, it is a revelation on the road.

The Ford is a more modern-looking car, with its three-box shape, but its very compactness gives it a toylike quality which is emphasised by a bright colour scheme.
The Mark II was a much more convincing attempt at a luxury saloon with �large car� looks.
Vauxhall�s Cresta, on the other hand, is positively backward in its styling and seems to have taken a 1950 Chevrolet as its inspiration.
At least that means its looks are all-of-a-piece, though, and it has a pleasing fastback shape which is in sharp contrast to
the dumpy Ford.
Details such as the rear wheel spats and the appliqu� rear light clusters are sheer joy to the fifties fan, too.

Whether your allegiance lies with Luton or Dagenham, you�re bound to raise a friendly smile on the face of every passerby with either car. Today�s executives might have faster, more comfortable cars, but they�re not half as much fun!

Vauxhall Cresta

1954-57
Straight-six, pushrod ohv
2262cc
79.37 x 76.2mm
67.5bhp @ 4000rpm
114lb ft @ 2000rpm
3-speed manual, column change
Front: ind, coils and double wishbones, anti-roll bar Rear: semi-elliptic leaf
Drum
Recirculating ball
14ft 4in
5ft 6.5in
5ft 3.5in
80mph
20.9sec
25.7mpg

Ford Zephyr Zodiac

1953-56
Straight-six, pushrod ohv
2262cc
79.37 x 76.2mm
71bhp @ 4200rpm
112lb ft @ 2000rpm
3-speed manual, column change
Front: ind, MacPherson struts and coils
Rear: semi-elliptic leaf
Drum
Worm and peg
14ft 3.75in
5ft 4in
5ft 0.75in
80mph
20.4sec
24mpg