Kristen's
Page
Shortie: "Is it Bryan?"
Me: "Yes, shall I open it?"
Me: "Man we're gonna be wrinkled til our food gets here."
Shortie: "Why? Are you sitting in water?"
(Candace opens the door to my car WHILE IT'S STILL MOVING)
Me: "Stop it! Stop it now!"
Shortie: "We gotta go back to the Pike Cafe to see Juan!"
Amber: "We've been to South Virginia, Tennessee, Connecticut and Harrisburg all trying to get to Allentown!"
Amber's new name is "Tour Guide Amber."
Me: I got stuck in my car while trying to put my feet on the dash and I honked the horn with my ass in the Schell's parking lot at 4 a.m.
Me, Shortie and Candace were in Reading at 11th and Elm and a car was behind us. We are sitting at a stop sign for about two minutes when I finally say, "Oh wait, this isn't a red light."
Trisha, Candace and Shortie all have a black hoodie on, I don't....
Me: "Well I'm sorry I don't have a parka."
Me, Trisha, Shortie and Candace are driving through Reading and end up going on some dirt road that is a back way to the Pagoda. The road eventually starts getting narrower and narrower and my little Focus can't fit so I have to back up...
Me: "Damn it! Don't tell me to turn my wheel left or right, say in or out."
Trisha: "Ok, turn your wheel in."
Me: "Which way was in?"
Shortie: "Fine! Fine! K for Kristen meaning your side and C for Candace meaning Candace's side."
Me: "Ok." (Turns the wheel towards Candace's side) "Is that right or left then?"
Somehow I did manage to back all the way out even though I screamed when a tree branch came in the window.
Trisha's new name is "Traffic Director Trisha."
SexieShortie05: boys r dumb
KristenH2003: Throw rocks at them.
Only in Kutztown would you find a drunk guy dressed up as a moo cow for Halloween shaking his ass at people as they drive by.
SexieShortie05: im hungry bring me food 2 my room
KristenH2003: do I look like room service?
SexieShortie05: well, i cant see u what r u wearin?
KristenH2003: my work uniform
SexieShortie05: HELLO! that screams servant
Me: "What these bitches want from a Niffa?"
SexieShortie05: Well maybe he just likes to hurt people. I know I do.
Candace: "Hahaha he had one penis. I mean one testicle."
SexieShortie05: I'm goin to hell i kno it.Will u come visit me?
KristenH2003: Sure
SexieShortie05: Awesome. what will u bring me?
KristenH2003: A fan and some ice.
SexieShortie05: And what will u say?
KristenH2003: I'll say, "Jesus Christ on a bicycle it's hot down here!"
SexieShortie05: What will you wear?
KristenH2003: Not my parka cause it'll be hot.
SexieShortie05: What will u touch?
KristenH2003: Nothing I don't want to burn my fingers.
Candace: "He was in the bathroom shaving his unibrow butt naked. I went downstairs laughing my asshole off."
Me: "Does he smoke the P.O.T.?"
Trisha: "You guys make my belly jiggle."
Candace: "It's Phil-i-delphia. They'll stop. Fuckin' retarded Niffa."
Candace: "I moved my leg somehow and he had a big weiner in his pants."
Me: "I'll give you a dollar if you snort cocaine."
Candace: "You can't mix 40's, 50's, and heavy metal music on a CD. It just sounds like an asshole."
Trisha: "Oh damn it there's a wall."
Ali: "Is it really in German?"
Candace: Is he hot?
Shortie: He's not your type.
Candace: Fuckin' jock strap.
Candace: "Dude! Me and Ali were laying in bed one night..."
Shortie and I are getting lunch at RACC and she's trying to decide what she wants when she says to me, "I think I'll get an American, Swiss and Provolone sandwich." (She just read through the list of the different kinds of cheeses they have).
Me, Candace and Trisha are sitting at my kitchen table playing Rummy. Trisha says to me, "Niffa, when you get down to one card you say Uno." (She was serious too).
Candace: "One time, I was cutting this person's hair..."
Shortie: fuckin just have a nice big cup of shutthellup
Candace (to me): "I think you'll have fun there, you have fun wherever you go."
Stigmatophiliac: ::fart::
Stigmatophiliac: Ha ha
KristenH2003: lol...
KristenH2003: you ass
Candace: "Chef."
I open my fortune cookie to find NO FORTUNE!
Me: "I got gypped!"
Candace: "Guys, I took my eyebrow ring out and I'm really leaving it out. It's not good for my image."
Some random person IM's me on AOL: Where are you from?
Me: AOL
Candace: "Oh my god, the agony."