| My Bizness Plan |
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First I plan to conquer a small country. Once in power, I will declare stuffed animals to be the new official currency. As a result of this, I expect to see a nationwide increase in stuffed animal production. Those who manufacture these lovable plush miniatures will literally be �making money� as it were. After people have grown accustomed to this, I will suddenly declare all stuffed animals to be terrorists.
�People of our fair nation,� I will say on live TV, �For years we have labored under the assumption that stuffed animals were money. But they�re actually terrorists disguised as stuffed animals disguised as money. We must take immediate action. Please bring all your stuffed animals to State Headquarters for emergency confiscation.� Once all the stuffed animals in the country are in my possession, I will go on live TV again to say that it was all a mistake, and that upon closer inspection, it turns out that stuffed animals are not terrorists at all - they are money as was originally thought. I will then laugh and say �Ha ha, now I�m the richest man in the country� and with that, I will resign and leave the country, never to return. I used to think this plan wouldn�t work, but that was before it HAPPENED IN CANADA IN 1988!!! YEAH, BUT THEY DON�T TEACH YOU THAT IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, DO THEY??? THAT�S BECAUSE THEY DON�T TEACH ANYTHING IN HISTORY BOOKS - THEY TEACH THINGS IN CLASSROOMS, USING HISTORY BOOKS AS TEACHING AIDS!!! |
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