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| DON'T BE FOOLED BY ME ~ author unknown Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within me as well as without. But don't believe me, please! My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask. Beneath this lies no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear and in lonliness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. Thats why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to sheild me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation, and I know it. That is if its followed by love. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself. That I am worth something. But I won;t tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh at me and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm no good, so I play my game, my desperate game with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing that is really everything, of whats crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen very carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what, for survival I NEED to say but what I CAN'T say. I dislike hiding, honestly! I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand, even when its the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare and breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of a person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please.....do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strongs walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for, but I am told that love is stronger than walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands - for a child is very sensitive. Who am I you may wonder. I am someone you know very well, for I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet. |
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| Little girl lost Little girl scared Little girl is crying 'Cause no one cares.. ~ Raven..2001 |
| Please remember. The words you find on here are property of either myself or the author...please DO NOT STEAL!! thank you - Raven |
| Loneliness consumes me... It courses through my veins Like black liquid poison Killing me Slowly, painfully Sucking the life from me I cry out of fear I cry out for help I'm dying and no one cares I'm drowning slowly in a black liquid poison and no one cares..... ~Raven 2001 |
| It's raining today I usually like the rain But not today.. Today it seems cold and gloomy A sad rain It's making me think Think of a time when I was lonely Alone Cold and gloomy Sad Like the rain It's raining today I don't want to be here Not today with this rain I'm sad lonely and alone Hiding in that closet again away from the pain Like I did all those years ago Hiding the tears My tears That fall Like the rain I usually like the rain No....not today ~ Raven |
| Garbage Trash Useless, space taking waste Garbage Good for nothing Crumpled up and tossed aside Garbage Thrown away at the side of the road Forgotten Left to rot then blow away Garbage All these years to you, I've been nothing more than Garbage... ~ Raven 2001 |
| Anger and sorrow Hatred and pain And its you I have to thank So Thank you for destroying me Thank you for giving me rage Thank you for robbing me of innocence and purity Thank you for filling me with fear and mistrust Thank you for denying me life And everything I thank you for, I hate you for I hate you for not letting me live I've been dead for so many years and it's you who is to blame.. Thank you may you rot in hell I hate you for what you have done to me FUCK YOU!! You sick prick!! ~ Raven 2001 |
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| THE VOID ~ "Nicci" 2001 * A poem for the abused (sexually molested) child and their families. You are NOT alone!!* Infinite sadness, NO bright shining light, Spirally downwards Eternal night. Silent tears cried Over innocence lost, A childhood dead What a terrible cost Horror and Anger Betrayal and Hate! I hope I can save her I hope its not too late I'm sorry sweet baby That things are this way If I could change them I'd do it today No matter what happens Or where we may go I love you so much I just want you to know |
| This poem was written by one of my closests friends...this is the first poem she's written in A LOT of years and like myself the circumstances as to why she started writing again are shitty..but also like myself, she's a strong woman..Love ya tons Nicci! |
| I WISH FOR YOU... Comfort on difficult days, Smiles when sadness intrudes, Rainbows to follw the clouds Laughter to kiss your lips Sunsets to warm your heart Gentle hugs when spirits sag Friendships to brighten your being Beauty for your eyes to see Confidence for when you doubt Faith so that you can believe Courage to know yourself Patience to accept the truth And love to complete your life ~ Author Unknown ~ |
| To Laugh is to risk playing the fool To weep is to risk appearing sentimental To reach out to another is to risk involvement To expose feelings is to risk exposing ourselves To put your ideas, dreams before the crowd is to risk loss To love is to risk not being loved in return To live is to risk dying To hope is to risk despair To try at all is to risk failure But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing The person who risks nothing, has nothing, does nothing and is nothing They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they simply cannot learn, change, feel, grow, love and live... Chained by their attitude.. Only the person who risks, is TRULY FREE ~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN |