 |
| This is to those of you that are supporting a family member or friend who has just lost a child though miscarriage or infant death...I am not posting this to be mean I am posting this because I think its important that you know this. We are going through something that is very traumatic, we are hurting, we are confused and angry. We ourselves don't know what to think or how to feel but we DO want and need your support. We also understand that you don't know what to say to us I mean let's face it, the whole experience of going through the death of a child is painful and tough for all of us...But! let me share this with you, even though we realize that coming up with the right words it difficult at a time like this, there are certain things that we DON'T care to hear...so PLEASE...read on.. ~ Raven |
|
| PLEASE ~ don't ask me if I am over it yet...I will NEVER be "over it" PLEASE ~ don't tell me that he/she is in a better place. He/she ISN'T HERE!! PLEASE ~ don't say "at least he/she is suffering". I haven't come to terms with why he/she had to suffer at all!! PLEASE ~ don't say "well you're lucky, he/she would have been born/grown up with lots of problems." Would you have loved your own child any less if they had 'problems'? PLEASE ~ don't tell me you know how it feels unless you have lost a child/infant/pregnancy PLEASE ~ don't tell me to get on with my life...I'm still here aren't I? PLEASE ~ don't ask me if I feel better? Bereavement isn't a condition that "clears up" PLEASE ~ don't tell me that "God never makes a mistake" or "it was God's will". You mean He did this on purpose? And who says I believe in your God anyway?! PLEASE ~ don't tell me that "at least you have or can have other babies" or "at least you had him/her for ____yrs/mths/days." or "at least you know you can get pregnant" I still don't have him/her PLEASE ~ don't tell me that God never gives more than you can bear. Who is He to decide how much I can or can't bear?! Instead of all of the above..... PLEASE ~ just say you are sorry PLEASE ~ just say you remember him/her or my pregnancy/our excitment etc if you do PLEASE ~ just let me say his/her name without turning away or changing the subject PLEASE ~ let me cry when I must... |
|