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| GROWING UP BI-RACIAL IN A WHITE FAMILY & WORLD ~ by Raven Well as you all know, I was adopted..as you also know, I am mixed race. I was adopted by a white family and here are my views and thoughts of growing up, my experience etc on being raised in such a setting.. I think I always knew even as a very young child that I was "different" than the rest of the family...I mean how could I NOT have known really...it's pretty much in your face, very obvious!! LOL. As a child my biological background was never an issue for me. This could be because it was just never talked about, so I didn't realize that my culture was different, or it could be that it just didn't matter..I'm not exactly sure to be honest. I DO however have a very strong opinion about this now that I am an adult. I also have a very strong feeling that my family would disagree with my opinion of this but so be it..in fact that is and has always been a part of the problem.. I remember as a child, many things being said as far as race goes...nasty little jokes or comments (when I say nasty I mean rude), jokes about my hair, or only liking chocolate ice cream because of my skin colour etc..I also remember forever being told (when I would have a fit about them not loving me because I was different) that they love me as part of the family and my colour didn't matter..They were wrong...my colour DOES/DID matter...its a part of who I am. As a teenager ppl, friends or what have you, were ALWAYS saying "we think of you as white" or something along those lines, and jokes like "your the whitests black girl I know!" or "the only time you act/we notice you're black is when your mad!"(talking about my behaviour/mannerisms)..Though I didn't realize it at the time on the surface, comments like these made me very ashamed of my black roots..the fact that it wasn't important enough for my 'parents' to teach me ANYTHING about my black background was not only embarrassing to me but again it also made me ashamed..Now that I am an adult, I stand tall and am VERY proud of the fact that I have black roots...I see myself as a beautiful black woman!! Even if I am only 1/2 black...BUT there is a problem...I know nothing about my culture or black background..I feel, yet again!!, very ripped off in regards to my identity! Now that I am a parent, I also feel that my children in a sense are being ripped off..granted they are 3/4 white but they still have black roots. Roots that I can't tell them about..Why? Because I was never taught/educated on them..Sure I learn bits and pieces from the internet or black friends but its only bits and pieces...I've learned a little here and there from travelling to the islands a couple of times but it IMO isn't enough.. The fact that my race wasn't important enough for my 'parents' to teach me or even take the time themselves to learn is upsetting..whats even more upsetting is the fact that my race was 'there' enough for them (people in general) to crack jokes about it. The assumptions....theres another thing! Granted I loved to run!! Being as lean and leggy as I was as a kid and teen I was damn good at it!!...(forget it now though I smoke WAY too much LOL), but it always came down to my colour..EVERYONE wanted me to be on the basketball team!! WHY?? Simple they assumed I would be good at it and like it BECAUSE I AM BLACK!! I fucking HATE basketball!!! I always have!! Shooting hoops sure I don't mind doing that, I get a kick out of it, but thats as far as it goes!! Oh! I must love watermelon and catfish!! Okay yes I love watermelon, hell I love most fruits....but thats one hell of an assumption if you ask me...I HATE FISH!! CAT OR OTHERWISE!! I could go on and on about the things ppl assume because of my colour..I remember once in gr 9 a girl commenting to me on how jealous she was because I must have no problems with my skin because I'm black...LMAO okay so she must never had taken a good look at my face when I was PMS-ing!! HELLO?!?!PEOPLE!!! Work with me here! Then of course there is the crap like being a crackhead or major pot smoker....those things had NOTHING to do with my race!! Thank you very fucking much!! I can steal hubcaps off of moving cars!! What the fuck is that shit?? Piss off with your nonsence! I MUST be uneducated/unintelligent because why?? I AM BLACK!! Yes I readily admit that I did poorly in school, my race however had nothing to do with it!! I had such bad grades because I had other issues and major ones at that, on my mind, school was the LAST thing I cared about!!! Hip hop,rap and techno music....bet you thought I loved that too huh?! WRONG!! OH HOW WRONG YOU ARE!! (if you assumed that)...No, I am more of a classic rock, punk, alternative kinda gal!! I like R&B and the Blues and some jazz too but they aren't my first choices.. People are cruel, society is cruel, not acknowledging my race is cruel too. Its a part of who I am..Accept it don't ignore it..don't shun me because of it or make ridiculous assumptions regarding it. To do that makes you an ass! IMO..One really shitty thing about being mixed race is the fact that I don't "fit in" anywhere..I don't fit in with the white race (to some) because I am not the same colour...I don't fit in with the black race because I am "whitewashed"...So whats a person like me to do..shuffle off to some remote deserted island and start a country/race of my own?? NOT BLOODY LIKELY!!! Racism....that shit is such a trip!! And a page all of its own (coming soon)..Bunch of bullshit if you ask me!! Word of advice to parents with bi-racial kids....TEACH THEM!!! LEARN ABOUT IT YOURSELF!! Whether mexican, italian, black etc...learn about your childs other roots/culture and teach them about it..IMO its very important..its who we are (part of)...its partly what makes us - US!! Don't sweep it under the rug, don't ignore it or treat it as a non-issue...of course its an issue! Like I said before, I feel very ripped off..For years I was ashamed of my skin..Luckily now I know better but hell I'm 30 yrs old! Yes I am a proud bi-racial woman, I have the best of both is how I like to look at it, but that doesn't mean the comments don't still hurt....My pride doesn't change societies views on me now does it? Of course not..If you are the parent of a bi-racial child (particularly if the child is the only bi-racial in the family like I was), take the time to learn and teach, I can't stress it enough..It is SO important that you do IMO...~ Raven |