"But woe to thee, terryl and brice, brood of vipers! For thou shuttest up the Kingdom of eBay against newbies; for neither thou goest in thineselves, nor do thou allowest those who are entering to go in! Woe to thee, blind guides! For if the blind lead the blind, they both fall into the ditch! Woe to thee, terryl and brice, hypocrites! For thou preachest against sniping, but thou snipeth thineownselves and profit by the wealth of the snipers! For this shalt thou be cast into the outer darkness of the underbidder. There shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth."

Then there came unto lowballers_drool a lowballer, saying, "What must I do to enter the Kingdom of eBay?" And lowballers_drool answered him thusly: "Biddest thou once, biddest thy max, and biddest thee late in thine auction. Then wilt the blessings of eBay follow. But if thou biddest only what thou hopest to pay, and not what thou art willing to pay, then curses and snipers shall follow thee all thy days, and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. He who has an ear, let him hear." But when the lowballer heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he feared to bid his True Max lest he fail in the bargain-seeking he so desired.

Then they brought to lowballers_drool a newbie nibbler, wroth and full of bile, saying "Teacher, a sniper didst bid on my widget, verily at the last second, and didst steal it from me and mine children and mine sick grandmother! Should not the auction be extended five minutes? Wherefore hast this evil sniper walkest away with the high bid and the rare widget for which I have been searching, lo these many months?" And lowballers_drool did look kindly upon the newbie nibbler and said, "Be thou not afraid. Sniping is but another bidding strategy. Bid and counterbid work not well in a timed auction, and auction extension would work only to the good of those who be already there at the end." Then lowballers_drool did preach the Gospel of the True Max Bid, and did teach the newbie nibbler the ways of sniping. And lowballers_drool said unto him, "Now, go, and sin no more." And the newbie nibbler was blessed, and went on his way rejoicing. And lowballers_drool saith unto the multitude, "The truth shall make you free. He who commits nibbling is a slave to nibbling; but he who snipes is free indeed, and shall abide in the house of eBay forever."