| Article posted 5/9/03 at 1:21am by Joe Naughton / Retired from Salem 2. |
| After speaking with the Commish of the league I will make this my official announcement. I have formed a new team. Our name is "Fuck Cunt Shit Piss". Why? Because that is what we do. We also smash the crud out of softballs and field like Cuban's. Now you may ask, and I know you will, who is Joe brining down to the field? A great guy like him with a delicious loinage area would only bring the best. Well I did. Introducing the line up for Fuck Cunt Shit Piss for the softball season of 2003..... I would like to welcome back Brian Pimentel after a year hiatus. After putting on 45 more pounds to an already overly large frame, I think he is ready for the transition to shortstop. At third base will be his retarded cousin Ann. Just because Ann is so dumb she cannot speak more than three words in some form of vowel language does not mean she should be underestimated. If the doctor's say she can take off the leg braces she is going to be a power house of a girl who pisses herself uncontrollably every now and then. At First base is some Asian guy I work with named Chin or Lee or something. He may be short, and very old, and he may not know a thing about softball, but boy can he code a TCP/IP COM object in mere minutes. I would love to blow him as he codes Radius attributes. At pitcher will be my sister. She may be six months pregnant but that never stopped my Mom from fucking Men so that should not stop my sister from taking a softball off the belly..... I think? At catcher we have built a wooden dummy. He is just made of wood, and just kind of sits there. Actually he is not so much made of wood as he is just a pile of sticks we place behind the plate and put a glove on top of but he still does a better job than most catchers in our league. Remember that guy Billy we had years ago? At second will of course be me, except on rainy days and days when it is too warm. On those days we will opt to go without a second baseman. Hell who really needs a second baseman anyways? Baseball just invented that position so Italians could play too. As for our outfield, well we feel the outfield is an overrated position anyways. I mean what the fuck, pop fly, you are out, pop fly, you are out. Only little league teams use an outfield. Instead we will send Brian's cousin Ann the fetching bitch to go get any that make it by our stacked infield. I just really hope she does not have to wear those 30 pound leg braces because they sure do wear her down. So, I am sure you are all excited about this new addition to this shitty league. I will see you all down on the field. Joe-Manager of Fuck Cunt Shit Piss, the team, the legends, the ass lickers. |
| Joe Naughton |