A review of Pink's latest atrocity
I've never been a fan of Pink, but I do like Charlie's Angels a lot so I pray, "Please don't let her give this sequel a horrible song!" and my prayers are ignored. I'm not sure which is worse the song or the video but I'm thinking it's the video(she can't help it if all the songs she sings are horrible because of her voice).
The video starts out with Charlie greeting the Angels in the classic way via speaker-box. He then tells them the mission where they need to retrieve the titanium(Not HALO) rings and that Agent Pink(You've got to be kidding me) is already at the motocross bowl. The scene changes and they're at the motocross pit and the song starts. Then you see Pink who then tries to impress you by spitting into the air and catching it back in her mouth(Ew! That's one thing I would not be proud of). Good job, perhaps if she channeled that talent into making a decent album...
So Pink starts to sing her song(Or is she killing a cat?) Standing in the pathway the bikes run on and of course they have to miss her! Then "Randy Emmers"(I put that in quotations because it's supposed to be him but this guy is wearing dark blue instead of red(They even edited the movie Randy's red so that it was dark blue, isn't there movie laws against that?)) goes to bike past Pink but her being the super strong and smart(yeah...right!) Angel she is she kicks him off(While he's on a fast moving bike mind you). So he's on his back on the ground, Pink gets on top of him and licks the side of his face(Gooood dog, sit, fetch, play dead!) then rips off his motocross shirt to reveal a very large fake digitally added symbol on his stomach which I guess meant he was bad.
It's time for a small pointless scene for Pink to subliminally say she's tough. She's in the car with "Randy" and kicks him out of the car(Smart idea, he's the one who was driving!).
Okay so Pink is now on the beach wearing a ratty blonde wig and a really ugly pink(Oh how ironic!) bikini which is probably only ugly because she's wearing it. She seems to be dancing(Or is she directing traffic? It's hard to tell) with others on the sand(Where's Frankie Avalon and Annette Funuchelo when you need them?) And here is where all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden Pink beach buddies have disappeared(Gee I wonder why!) And a guy with a mustache wearing a wetsuit comes up rips off the wig and kicks Pink down into the sand, then he proceeds to sniff the wig(Yeah apparently The Thin Man was at the beach but we didn't recognize him because of the mustache, beer belly and scuba diving outfit!). So Pink gets mad and trust me things get uglier when Pink gets mad including her black hair(which looked bad to begin with) which changes to a bright pink for a second then changes back. So she gets up and The Creepy Man begins to wave his arms and legs around in an awkward attempt to look like he knows karate. Pink as proven before is super tough and kicks his ass with one kick.
Then Pink for some reason notices an old shack on the beach. While running to it someone put mines in the sand(In a public beach too!) So Pink has to be overly dramatic when going to the shack. After putting a bomb to it she's overly dramatic again and dives in the sand when the shack explodes. Then magically the ring float to her hand and we see the Russian people getting away in a small yellow raft.
What I learned from this music video?
When it comes to singing and acting, Pink can't do either.