DIARY – PART E 7-4-’44

emaciation

Diary as Prisoner-of-war in jungle and rubber forest and bilberries paradise near village, clear water in fairy like wide river along which grows swamp forest and in which we swim, near a native village, 80 KM from Palembang [is SE of Sumatra], along a side road on the main road from Palembang to Telok Betong (700 KM!)

7-4-1944 up to and including 7-6-1944

As far as I know my present disease will be the last one (as this came to my mind during delirium last month) of my 17 diseases during this war. Also I know quite well that this will be my last part of the diary. I believe (despite pessimistic stories from the officers and nonsense from the camp commander that it will take up to ’47 before the war is finished) (upon which I said that it will be in ’54 as this is what I have been continuously told!) – that the war in the Pacific is finished and the officers are passing on the rumours: Marianes, Guam , bombs on Sabang and in Bandung and on Japan. Nonsense those bombs on Bandung. As if America would ever expose our women camps to “lost” bombs meant for the Japs! They would have come much and much earlier. That man who reported that rumour is stupid.

My friend Schreuder spiritualistically on my request asked the question (1) to his guide who calls himself his father-in-law Weintre (died 20 years ago!) why it is taking so long after the end of the Pacific war in March ’44, before we are going back to Java. W. replied (in neat school handwriting!) (1): “W. here Joop, when you need me then call me. I have also my duties here. Give my regards to Fokker and tell him that he also will be transported to Java. He is a good person. Yes keep on asking Joop, the reason is, that at present on Java they are also busy arranging that you get liberated. Do you want to know anything else?” Question (2): “Yes Paps, can you also tell us in which month the departure will take place?” Reply (2): “Yes, as far as I know, that will take place in this month” Question (3): “Is this answer correct Pap?” Reply (3): “Joop, if you don’t believe me, then don’t ask me” Question (4) about his family. Question (5): “Is Fokker’s family in good health?” Reply (5): “Joop, they are also alright. In future I will watch over them. I am going now. Bye Joop. Weintre.” 2 hours Japanese time –

7 April ’44.

Extraordinary that remark that he will watch over you. A real remark from a simple and good mind, which came fresh from earth. But the remark about Java is quite right, if the rumour is right that the women camps have been handed over to the Red Cross and the Government to the Indigenous and that all this took place in preparation of the transfer. But the camp commander and officers sneered at any rumour of departure, although an ensign, commander of the richest barrack officially gave the strange advice, “in connection with the rumours about departure not to lend out any money, as you can lose this if people get split up (people who are ill and who are healthy) at departure”. This advice is either very crudely dumb, or full of good-will to let us know that there are indeed plans for departure.

9 April. 1st Easter Day [1944]

A year ago while wearing only shorts I slaved naked with a straw-mattress on my head 3 times from the industries fair to the station – got hayfever, no handkerchief: so the soft straw-mattress which had to go to Japan with the next transport, served as my handkerchief. And at present while sitting on my bed the whole day, recuperating from another more serious enteritis, I have been sewing and mending coats and shirt to sell them to the Javanese, who gives good money for clothes, while he helps us tremendously by enabling us to buy sugar and bananas (for us patients our monthly salary is f1.50 and for people who are able to work it is f2.50, while brown sugar of the size of 1 draughtsman costs 5 cents and 1 banana 6 cents. My worn-out green pants, already sold for f6.50, my worn-out pyjama coat for f--. Now I am in the process to exchange your present, - colibretta soap, already for 2 _ years having a flower scent - , for a worn-out torn, but patchable green coat, so that I can sell my major’s coat from Savelkool (given to me by Wim Helferich) for f15.- Helen’s green gasbag, however, I have to sell too for f5.-.

A miracle: Totally hopeless, no extra food in sight, nor liberation with certainty, can hardly stand up because of lack of strength on 7th April. Then a nurse came past with a washing bowl and left on my bed 5 large duck eggs (not for sale to the camp, or very rarely for 32 cents each) and also he gave them to half of the other totally exhausted patients. I am utterly surprised. Dr Huja arrives and I ask: “Dr. can you imagine how a man would feel, who 2 days ago was rejected by a girl and then suddenly is embraced by her?” (this never happened to me though!). “Well” he says, “I can quite imagine that (he is 53 years old). You are probably talking about those eggs? Yes, it is nice so now and then to play St. Nicolas” And thus it took me 4 days to finish those 5 eggs and feel now a lot better with that enteritis.

CAMPDIARY - Herman Fokker 26 July 1944.

Dear little wife. I have seven of these pages and as later if the Americans are coming , I could lose all my luggage plus my diary, I want to write down about our future a few things which have taken me several months of labour. If I do not come home anymore but if you get the diary then you will find in it hundreds of pages of you and the children. I wrote those down since 10-3-43 and I relived the film with full consciousness. At present I am (because we are not getting any fruit) already for a year ill in the hospital hut (intestine catarrh) (=inflammation of the intestine) The doctor says that it only can be cured after the war with liver, etc. plus fruit. If after many disappointments about rumours everything is true then I hope that I can embrace you about which I recently had such lovely dreams.

At present I am at my lowest point – not mentally, but my body, abscess of the jaw and that without a dentist in the camp. The doctor can pull it out without anaesthesia. My nerves are already useless as they are. I weigh 100 ponds (50 kg) and can hardly walk. Also I burnt my tongue and oral cavity by gurgling for 2 days with a too strong quantity of chinosol, and even eating porridge and soup is very painful. The abscess has to burst and my doctor says that pulling it out is not necessary, but the English assistant dentist says that it should be pulled out. Herman has to choose. Also I have again swollen oedema feet, which should not affect the heart! – Always hungry, day and night – no eggs, meat, fish, tempe– only porridge and kankung (=Indonesian vegetable) Very rarely some fish. Thus I can not separate my fantasy from my miserable body condition. I wrote the first year an ordinary diary plus happy birthday letters, the second year film in words about my people

and now since the last 4 months about our future: the building of our house by father after my pension and details about cost of food and education and studies of the children.

After that, plans for furlough of various length. Much depends on what we as soldiers will get: nothing, a tip of f200 (25 cents a day?) or a reasonable % of my salary such as the officers surely will be getting too. It is nice to think about the sea Riviera, Milan with Trudi at Arosa, Bauen, with father and mother, with the boys at a farmer’s place nearby plus a car, Then I forget pain, hunger, exhaustion (my body feels like lead) We will make very many protein delicious things And we will be dreaming about being together again, about enjoying our furlough Putting them together gave me so many pleasant hours, days and weeks.