Hi, I am Jim, I am an alcoholic, a compulsive overeater, a child of an alcoholic, and a manic-depressive (bipolar). Thirty-two years ago, a few weeks from my college graduation, I was put away in a locked mental ward for several weeks. Immediately before, I thought I had the world by the tail. After being released, I continued on psychiatric medication for years, lost the girl whom I planned to marry, and gained one hundred pounds. To make matters worse, I became an alcoholic and got a girl pregnant.
After being released from the hospital, I just sat in a chair for over seven months. Full of fear and guilt, I wanted to die. I planned suicide, then chickened out at the last minute. At the time, I wanted so much to meet someone who had gone through a mental ward and had recovered enough to live a normal life. I found no survivors of locked wards. My sense of isolation further increased because nobody in my family or community seemed to want to talk about or to listen to my experiences. My future looked bleak. Others on the ward offered no hope; many said that they had been locked up numerous times. From what my doctors were telling me, I concluded that I would have to take strong medication for a long time, most likely, all of my life. I wanted so much to talk about what I had been through with someone who understood--someone who had been there. In addition, I wanted to know what to do to help myself. I felt so powerless. No one gave me any clear directions. I wrote this book for the person who feels as I once did.
Today, I lead a normal, American life complete with wife, family, house, cars, degrees, job, hobbies, and sundry honors. One day at a time, for twenty-eight years I have not drank any alcohol; for twenty-seven years I have not had to take any medication; and for thirty-two years I have not had to be hospitalized. My weight has been under two hundred pounds for over two decades. I have even completed 26.2 mile marathons--that is not bad for a guy who used to weigh three hundred pounds. My organic gardens supply my wife and me with fresh vegetables and cut flowers for most of the year.
At one point, I achieved a dream which resulted in a great deal of publicity. I was interviewed by the New York Times, AP, and UPI. I was on radio and television. There was even talk of doing a documentary on my life to be broadcast across the United States.
This book describes what my life was like, what happened, and what it's like today. Through the people in various self-help groups, I am able to lead a normal life. So can you.
This book is organized like a Twelve-Step meeting: I first share what it was like, what happened, and what it is like today; then I discuss a number of topics that I have found useful in my ongoing recovery from bipolar depression, addiction, obesity, attention-deficit disorder, and being the child of an alcoholic. This method of sick people sharing their experience, strength, and hope works for over a million alcoholics. I'm convinced it will work for mental illness.
What is written is what I wanted to hear when I was at my bottom--locked away for an indefinite time in a mental ward. Reading has always been part of my recovery so I include a bibliography of books that I have found helpful. Not all details of the methods I used for my recovery are described because (1) other authors have already done so and (2) if you are depressed you may not read a book that is too long.
Many people entering rehabs are given a dual diagnosis of addiction and mental illness. This book shows how my alcoholism is interwoven with other problems, and it chronicles my rise to becoming an average American. If you are still drinking, this book will probably not help you, you need the AA program. Also, if your depression is such that you are sitting with a gun at your side ready to blow your brains out, this book will probably not help you. You need medical help, quickly! However, if you experience many ups and downs as you go about your life or if you have been diagnosed with clinical depression at some time, this book is meant for you.
If I make any profit from this book, most of it will be donated to charity because everything in this book was freely given; it came from meetings, literature, and people.