EPISODE 17
YOUSEF: I've got people coming in town. So I wake up at 6:30 so I can clean up a little before I go to work.
REZA: Clean up, like what? Like what? Did you shave pubes?
YOUSEF: Well, a little bit of both.
REZA: (about Yousef's new car) He turned in the donkey and got.. It was a 3 legged donkey, which was weird, it had a rock in one of it's hooves and he got the, what is it?
YOUSEF: It's a Toyota MR2.
REZA: It's a sexy car.
REZA: (about O.J. Simpson) His kids are already fucked up. He wants them rich and fucked up.
YOUSEF: (door opening) Oh.. okay, you know what.. all right.. Reza, go for it.
REZA: Rafi just walked in with his balls hanging out of his pants.
YOUSEF: And you know what? Still .. , go.. do it. Let him know it.
REZA: You know what?
RAFINE: Fired.
REZA: You're fucking fired.
REZA: My sex life is actually Yousef's right and left.
REZA: There is nothing wrong with 3 titties.
REZA: (after Rafine does a very loud nipple sound) Hey Rafi, step into my office. You got a fucking raise.
CALLER: Reza's mom is a perv.
REZA: Yeah I know she is. God, where do you think I learned it?
REZA: I can have 7 wives but my chick's Swedish and she's not down with it.
YOUSEF: (to a caller) Wait, real quick, are you 18?
CALLER: Yes I am 18 actually.
YOUSEF: You are? Okay, I was getting ready for Reza to go to jail.
REZA: (foreign accent) Bro, I am from Iran, these questions are irrelevent to me.
REZA: Guys, guys, can we stop being serious and start talking about boobs again or something?
REZA: I learned how to suck on boobs from my mom.
YOUSEF: Yeah I was going to let you handle that. It's called breastfeeding. That's where the obsession started for all of us.
REZA: (about the show "Who's The Boss?") Fuck no, I'm not watching that shit, man. I would rather masturbate with a cheese grader. What, are you crazy?!!?
YOUSEF: Actually, I loved "Who's The Boss?" Are you kidding?
REZA: Of course you loved "Who's The Boss?". You were a fucking foreigner. You were fob. You didn't speak English. You didn't understand what the fuck was going on.
REZA: Call these guys here and tell them to give us 2 hours.