FOB QUOTES

REZA: (plotting revenge on Yousef for what he did during the last couple episodes) After I show what's in this package, who knows if Yousef is going to want to be in the same room with me.

REZA: I almost want to fart. Oh I did.

REZA: I want people on the chats. I want people on the phone. I want to get conference calls. I want 3 people on the line at the same time.

RAFINE: 3?

REZA: God damn it.

RAFINE: Whoa

REZA: Ménage phone.

YOUSEF: (appearing out of nowhere) Haha!! (grabs the package and runs out)

REZA: NO!! (runs after him)

RAFINE: Umm.. (in the studio alone) all right everybody, Yousef just showed up and grabbed the piece of paper and uhhh.. or whatever it is. I have no idea what it is. So obviously, this was not planned. Someone is going to come back beaten terribly.

REZA: (comes back out of breath) I had to actually take my shoes off to chase this bastard down. He had his magic carpet waiting outside.

YOUSEF: Oh man I am freaking tired. I'm telling you that Persian can run!!

REZA: Reza means "to be content" and Bahador means "brave".

YOUSEF: Yousef.. uhh.. is actually and this is going to sound a little egotistical, thanks very much for asking. I appreciate that.

REZA: Your parents did it to you baby.

YOUSEF: It means "great one"

REZA: Whoa!! Whoa!!

YOUSEF: Whoa!! Whoa!! and uhh.. Abu-Taleb actually means "father of". Abu is "father of". It's like the monkey. Abu, "father of" Taleb "student".

YOUSEF: Can we do some hints at least??

REZA: You might never speak to me again.

YOUSEF: (after Reza reveals that in the package is 2 photoshopped pictures of Yousef naked with another man naked in one, and then another man naked with him in the second) That is.. uhhh, wow!!

REZA: (laughing) Oh my God.

YOUSEF: I think I'm about to puke. I'm just.. I am ready to puke, bro. Although my ass looks pretty good.

REZA: You do have a nice.. The worst part is you have to understand all the gay porn I had to look at so I could crop your head on top of them?

REZA: You're not going to start freestyling again are you?

YOUSEF: Oh hell no!! I already got embarrassed once today.

REZA: I'm not a fuckin' Arab. I'm a Persian!!

YOUSEF: Reza's gassy. You should smell it in here.

YOUSEF: (misunderstanding what a caller lists as a pet peeve) Somebody pees at the table? Yeah that would piss me off too.

CALLER: No, cleans their teeth at the table.

YOUSEF: (listening to a sound effect of a hail of gunfire) It sounds like me peeing.

REZA: When someone makes noise in the library, you're allowed to walk right up to them and pee on them, right Ralfie?

RAFINE: Yes, right.

YOUSEF: Raf, Reza has something to tell you.

REZA: (yells) You're fucking fired!

REZA: I would invite Yousef over here to talk into the same speaker as me but after the pics I posted I'm not sure I want him that close to me.

YOUSEF: (lower voice) I'm just going to talk because she (caller) can't hear me.

REZA: No don't talk because I can hear you, jack ass and I can't hear her.