Scree-fice Menace

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:40 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

Your obsession...

*snip*

Human Scrifice?

What?

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I vote for that one! I don't know what it is, but it sounds really weird!

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 01:43 AM:

How do you think you pronounce that?

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:46 AM:

Scree-fise, I guess. It's kinda like my "neighborhoos".

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 01:50 AM:

So what we're talking about here are hideous human/Scree-fise hybrids? With the deadly powers and evil intent of Scree-fise but with the ability to bled in with and infiltrate human society? That sounds suspiciously like Cynthia Celeste Miller and her brain-parasyte spawn. Hmmm...

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:53 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

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Yes! These are SHAPESHIFTER scree-fise! They live right next door in your neighborhoos and you never suspect a thing. You cook out with them. Babysit each other's kids. Meet at the Little League games, PTO meeting.

Little do you know they are SCREE-FISE, coming to eat your kidneys! And you eyeballs! They leave the rest.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 01:56 AM:

Eating my Kidneys?!?! But that's my one vulnerability! Otherwise I am unstoppable. What are the odds?

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:58 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

Eating my Kidneys?!?! But that's my one vulnerability! Otherwise I am unstoppable. What are the odds?

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1 in, well, I dunno, 3. Yeah, that's about right. We'll have to ask Steve D, he's a statistition.

Posted by StormBringer on 06-10-2002 03:40 AM:

One time, I had this M&M that was infrared coloured, and the scree-fise next door said "Yeah, that is infrared alright" and I said "Wow" and then I went outside, and I ate the M&M, then I went to the arcade and played some Gauntlet, and then the Warrior shot the food, so I thought "Cool", and then I wanted to get some ice cream, so I did, and the guy said "How many scoops?" and I said "How many do you have?" and I laughed, then I ate my ice cream, then I went outside, because it was summer, and I rode my bike around for a while, then I biked out to the playground behind my school, and played on the swings and stuff for a while, then I went over to a friend's house, and we played the Space Shuttle game on his Atari, and I took off, and docked, and landed, and I got a good score, but he got a better score, so we went outside and rode our bikes around for a while, and we met some other friends, and we all played tag for a while, then we got together with some more friends and we played capture the flag at night, then we rode around on our bikes some more, then I went home and watched the A-team, and then I got ready for bed, then I went to sleep, and when I got up the next morning, I went out and rode my bike some more, and went to the arcade to play some more games, because Reactor was my favourite, and then I went and rode my bike in the park for a while, then I came home and read a book for a while, then I watched some TV, and I went outside for a walk, then I came back home, and watched some more TV, then read some more of my book, which was the Lord of the Rings, and that is what I did on my summer vacation thank you.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 04:32 AM:

So does that mean StormBringer is a Scree-fice who eats eyeballs and kidneys and laps at the royal jelly of Cynthia Celeste Miller's quivering thorax?

Posted by StormBringer on 06-10-2002 08:00 AM:

I probably would, but for two things:

A) She's a lesbian.

B) Adult Baby.

She wouldn't dig it for the first reason. I wouldn't dig it for the second.

I neither confirm nor deny any of the rest of your allegations.

Posted by Dr Rotwang! on 06-10-2002 01:16 PM:

My avatar rocks.

No, really, it does.

See? Wires. Wires, man.

And Max Headroom-esque lines of neon in the background.

Why do the rest of you even HAVE avatars? Mine is superior. Mine is better than HERO FREd.

My avatar plays FATAL.

Man, I feel weird.

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:20 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Dr Rotwang!

My avatar rocks.

*snip*

Man, I feel weird.

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A Scree-fice could be trying to take over your human visage. You should take five steaming-hot cups of mango tea and pour them over your head. They hate that, and it stops em cold. Its the only way to be sure.

Posted by Dr Rotwang! on 06-10-2002 01:27 PM:

I don't need your silly pseudo-scientific, magic-with-a-K witchcraft solutions, you simp.

It's just my engrams. I need to be audited.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 02:15 AM:

You were wrong enough to be legally forced to pay me 160,000,00 dollars whether you have it now or not, you duresser!

My lawyer has shark teeth and eats people.

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 02:18 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

You were wrong enough to be legally forced to pay me 160,000,00 dollars whether you have it now or not, you duresser!

My lawyer has shark teeth and eats people.

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160,000,00 dollars? How much is that?

And you lawyer eats people's kidneys and eyeballs. He's a Scree-fise!

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-10-2002 02:27 AM:

Oh my god my lawyer is a Scree-fice! They're everywhere!! Aaaaaiiiiiieeee!!!

Posted by Dvixen on 06-11-2002 12:47 AM:

...

And people say *I* am odd.

I need to bring them here so they can see how normal I really am.

YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FREAKS!

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-11-2002 01:26 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Dvixen

...

And people say *I* am odd.

I need to bring them here so they can see how normal I really am.

YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FREAKS!

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I take no exception to that.

I glory in it.

HONK

Long live the Scree'fice!!

Posted by Menteroso on 06-10-2002 09:36 AM:

Who's a Scre-fise?

C'mon, I wanna show of hands...

Or blowjob Smilies.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-10-2002 09:42 AM:

If you explain what it is I'd be happy to tell you I'm not one.

-not anything like you MP

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 12:01 PM:

The fucking Scree-fice are EVERYWHERE!

If you drop your guard, even for a minute, the Scree-fice will EAT YOUR KIDNEYS AND EYEBALLS!

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 12:15 PM:

Here's more proof. Alkzndr said:

"Oh my god my lawyer is a Scree-fice! They're everywhere!! Aaaaaiiiiiieeee!!!"

Whadd'ya say now, laughing boy? We need to set up a resistance movement, or something.

I always loved the Earth, except for the damn Scree-fise.

Posted by Theron on 06-10-2002 12:28 PM:

Aren't the Scre-fise those airborne white ape things in the "Mike's Hard Lemonade" commercials?

Posted by Menteroso on 06-10-2002 12:32 PM:

I thought they were the "kids" used in Welch's Juice commercials.

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 12:35 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Theron

Aren't the Scre-fise those airborne white ape things in the "Mike's Hard Lemonade" commercials?

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No. The Scree-fise look like you and me brother. They walk unhindered through our civilization, give to charities, and coach soccer. That is until they TRANSFORM INTO A QUIVERING, WRITHING MASS OF HUNGER, AND EAT YOUR KIDNEYS AND EYEBALLS!!! (they leave the rest)

I assure you, the Scree-fise are here, posting on this very board. Watch for clues...

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 12:37 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Menteroso

I thought they were the "kids" used in Welch's Juice commercials.

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YES! I have it on good authority (which I cannot divulge at this time) that some of those kids were Scree-fise.

Posted by Theron on 06-10-2002 12:40 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Judas

I assure you, the Scree-fise are here, posting on this very board. Watch for clues...

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MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!MustnotsleeportheScree-fisewillgetme!

Still, you've gotta admit, those alien things in the Mike's commercial are hella cool. They look like they just walked off of someone's 40K table.

Posted by Menteroso on 06-10-2002 12:47 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Theron

Still, you've gotta admit, those alien things in the Mike's commercial are hella cool. They look like they just walked off of someone's 40K table.

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Hmmmmm.... That sound like something a Scree-fise would say...

Get 'em Azzy!

Posted by Theron on 06-10-2002 12:51 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Menteroso

Hmmmmm.... That sound like something a Scree-fise would say...

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And I DO work for a charity. And I DID coach soccer...

But a scree-fise? Me? Nah, I hate organ meat.

Posted by Elissa Carey on 06-10-2002 01:02 PM:

Not a scre-fise, me. I don't qualify and I hates me some organ meats, too.

Unless they're in good hotdogs or sausages, of course.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-10-2002 01:40 PM:

So, is anyone gonna EXPLAIN what a scree-fise is or do I just get to sit here and hate the fuck out of all of you?

-murderous camper MP

Posted by Judas on 06-10-2002 01:48 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Magic Pink

So, is anyone gonna EXPLAIN what a scree-fise is or I just get to sit here and hate the fuck out of all of you?

-murderous camper MP

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A Scree-fise is a shapeshifter. They infiltrate human society in forms that look just like you and me. Well, me, I don't know what you look like

They infect the human host, then take over the entire body. Then that Scree-fise will infect more. Transmission is by any fluid transfer... poking you with a sharpened fingernail, those triple-kisses over in Europe, that kinda thing.

They are here for one reason- TO EAT YOUR KIDNEYS AND EYEBALLS!!! (they leave the rest)

If you start to feel weird, pour five cups of steaming-hot mango tea over your head. Stops the infection from taking over your body.

Their weirdness and aggressiveness can peak through, however. If you see a poster start to go wacky and belligerent, THEY MAY BE BECOMING A SCREE-FICE!!! Sometimes you will see a poster regain composure, meaning they probably used the mango tea and are OK now. Hence the term "That guy is going totally Scree-fice!". Some folks get completely infected, become full Scree-fice, and will begin stalking the night, looking for eyeballs, kidneys, and more people to infect.

Posted by SteveD on 06-10-2002 02:02 PM:

The interesting thing about Scree-fices is their existence was only just discovered in a thread on this board, thanks to the tireless work of Judas and Alkzndr.

But the annoying thing is it was buried in some non-descript thread and now I can't find the damn thing anymore! How can I find them without this knowledge! WAAAAAA!

Or perhaps...we shouldn't fight them? Maybe ther are really our friends, yes, friends, yes, hahahahaaa...

- frothing at the mouth and falling over backwards D

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-11-2002 01:09 AM:

Oh dear god. What has been started?

No, the Scree-Fice are a constant threat and you must remain ever vigilent. You may notice where I was attacked by a particularly clever on while talking to Sangrolu in the main forum. Magos can be used to ward off and sometimes identify Scree-fice but only the tea will truly kill them. Thank god I bought one of those Kidney Blocker 5000s. I'm gonna sleep soundly tonight.

Posted by Sedna on 06-11-2002 01:22 AM:

scre-fise??

I hate those motherfucking welch's juice kids. I hope they all die! Die and go straight to hell, where they no doubt originated!!!

Fat-cheeked, little pukes! Damn them all!!!!!!

Posted by Theron on 06-12-2002 11:49 PM:

Given their shapeshifting abilities, how would one rate the Reach of a scree-fice?

Posted by StormBringer on 06-13-2002 02:13 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Theron

Given their shapeshifting abilities, how would one rate the Reach of a scree-fice?

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The same way you would rate the reach of Mr. Fantastic, Plastic Man, or those sentient blobs of snot from the Herculoids.

Variable.

Sneaky scree-fice bastards.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-13-2002 04:26 AM:

Unless you're in the room with them and, for what ever reason, they have not entered attack mode. Then they will ahve the same reach of whoever or whatever they are pretending to be. Earlier today I killed a Scree-fice disguised as a dog, so you can never be to careful.

Posted by Charbok on 06-13-2002 06:33 AM:

In the future . . .

Ever notice how the Sex industry gloms onto new technology super fast?

F'r Instance, when the DVD format just started getting big, the first thing I saw at my local suncoast were two racks of DVDs. One being movies, and the other being softcore Playboy stuff.

And Robot Pet technology just keeps on keeping on. Soon their little AI's will be creepily smart, and their motions creepily lifelike.

Here we have the real doll- disturbingly lifelike (y'know, for a chick made entirely of silicone).

Robot Dog + Real Doll + Sex Industry's love of New Tech = Creepy Sex Robots

Soon. In our lifetimes. I shudder at the devotion to wanking technology that some folks have . . .

Charbok,

who won't buy one till they program it to wash dishes . . .

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-13-2002 06:36 AM:

I want my sexbot!

Posted by Charbok on 06-13-2002 06:38 AM:

Well . . .

Sure, who doesn't want a Sexbot?

But that's EXACTLY what the Scree-Fice are counting on!

Charbok,

who's hiding from the shadowy forces afoot . . .

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-11-2002 03:04 AM:

Poopy Avatars murdered?

Jampoo may or may not be dead?

Jamko has won?

Allen Sugarbaker (who?) is in a very bad mood?

What? The? Fuck?

It can only mean one thing, a fiendish Scree-fice plot to hide the truth! If Sugarbaker is one of them that means they've started to assimilate the site's staff as well. The situation is much more sever than I could have feared. There is now way to stop the Scree-Fice from spreading to EVERY FORUM ON THE NET!

Posted by NPC gNomad on 06-11-2002 01:10 PM:

Wankpanzer!

We can kill the NPCs?

And just who is 'Allen Sugarbaker'?

Damn the Scree-fice!

-Sam Baughn, just wanted to try his new swearword out really.

Posted by Allan Sugarbaker on 06-11-2002 04:50 PM:

quote:

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The Poopy Avatars murdered?

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'Fraid so. Sorry.

quote:

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Jampoo may or may not be banned?

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Yep.

quote:

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Jamko has won?

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I don't think he'd see it that way. He's convinced we don't do any thing. I think we're just much more "hands off" than he'd like.

Until someone ignores multiple warnings myself, that is.

quote:

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Allen Sugarbaker (who?) is in a very bad mood?

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Only when I'm being ignored.

quote:

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What? The? Fuck?

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I tend to let Darren and Armin do the daily patrolling, and lurk in the background until something troublesome comes up. So I can see why people are confused.

quote:

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Umm... no comment. Gotta finish eating this guy's kidney, anyway.

Posted by Judas on 06-11-2002 05:03 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Allan Sugarbaker

Umm... no comment. Gotta finish eating this guy's kidney, anyway.

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I will hunt you down, Scree-fice. No matter where you run, walk, slither, scamper, or wobble, I WILL find you. Well, you probably won't scamper. But I WILL get you.

Posted by Kuma on 06-11-2002 11:34 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by NPC Jampoo

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Hey - wait. If this Jampoo guy is dead ... then who is this pudwanker?

Methinks there's devilry about!

Hide the wimmin!

Pour salt over your left shoulder and sugar over thither!

Posted by Judas on 06-11-2002 10:26 PM:

Darren, watch Armin. Watch him close I tell you!

Posted by Judas on 06-11-2002 11:36 PM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Kuma

Pour salt over your left shoulder and sugar over thither!

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Dude, it should be mango tea over your head.

Posted by StormBringer on 06-12-2002 02:32 AM:

Damn AOL! They are infected with Scree-Fise at the highest levels!!

Gear up, gentlemen, lock and load. We are going hunting.

CRY HAVOC!!!!!

Posted by Nightowl AAA on 06-12-2002 04:00 AM:

quote:

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We are going hunting.

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We need bigger guns! We need fucking bigger guns!

Posted by SteveD on 06-14-2002 09:59 AM:

The Platypus of Hugging beats nobody.

The Platypus of Death, on the other hand, slays the enemies of the republic before they even feel the blow.

Both stand ready, should you need them. But frankly, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Word,

Steve

Posted by Egil on 06-12-2002 06:43 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Judas

Darren, watch Armin. Watch him close I tell you!

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Armin is a Scree-fise? But then that means our child *gasp*

Posted by Menteroso on 06-14-2002 09:55 AM:

OK, so what happened with the chik at Circle K? Did she go all "Lola" on you?

Didja score? What?

I need more details before I can tell ya anything useful, or even beat you celibate.

menty.

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-14-2002 09:57 AM:

........

I gave her my number.

That was all.

Why am I having a very bad feeling about this chick.... I didn't check the hands for a ring... man, if I'd done that on the date eh?

I guess its a case of bad time.

Posted by Theron on 06-14-2002 10:56 AM:

Adrian,

The scree-fice are moving in. Clearly she wants to pump you for information before eating your kidneys. The only solution - eat her kidneys first.

Posted by Marion Poliquin on 06-13-2002 12:05 AM:

Undead threads.

Nobilis is a very pretty book as well as the best superhero game there is. I'd like to see John Wick break it down in terms of GNS. And I sure hope that Hogshead'll hire Jason L. Blair to write a Nobilis sourcebook about playing abused kids.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-13-2002 12:07 AM:

Undead threads? G/N/S? Gareth Nichael Skarka? what? I am confused.

Posted by Marion Poliquin on 06-13-2002 12:09 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

Gareth Nichael Skarka?

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Gareth Nichael Skarka?

Now you've got me confused as well.

What the Hell is a Gareth Nichael Skarka?

Posted by Judas on 06-13-2002 12:24 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Marion Poliquin

Gareth Nichael Skarka?

Now you've got me confused as well.

What the Hell is a Gareth Nichael Skarka?

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I think he meant the "Gareth Nickel Skarka", refering to a new program by the US mint to create a line of currency showing prominent game designers.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-13-2002 12:35 AM:

No, no, no. The Gareth Nickel Skarka is a twelve foot tall magical automaton built from solid nickel. Other than it's scale it is a perfect replica of gareth's form, personality, and mind. I have completed it only recently after years of forging, casting, installing the spring-loaded blades, designing and re-designing its mango-tea delivery systems, painstakingly etching the arcane runes in to the interior, and sneaking in to Gareth's bedroom to take deep-molecule scans of his nude, sleeping body. I feel that the Gareth Nickel Skarka is our last, best hope for victory over the Scree-fice hordes.

Posted by Damiar the Wolf on 06-13-2002 12:49 AM:

Damn straight, Alkzndr

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-13-2002 01:07 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Damiar the Wolf

Damn straight, Alkzndr

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Hell yeah, my brother!

Posted by Just Me on 06-13-2002 05:11 PM:

But was nickel the best choice of metals?

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-14-2002 04:41 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Just Me

But was nickel the best choice of metals?

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Well I was really looking for an excuse to do something with that huge mound of raw nickel that's been just sitting there in my front yard for ages now. I'm a renter and I can only have so much industrial waste lying around before the landlord complains. And now I have unstoppable killing machine but I also have a big dead patch in the lawn.

Posted by GB Steve on 06-14-2002 04:57 AM:

This aeon I will be mostly wearing ... bobble hats

I thought this was about what the Zombi about town or the fashion-conscious Lich would be wearing this season.

Vampires! Black *is* the new black, although next season, very dark grey will be in.

Zombis! Freshen up that out-of-the-grave look by putting little hats on all your worms.

Demi-Lichs! Howling skulls are so very '80s. For the real retro look why not get a wig? Afro maybe even Elvis could do wonders for your social life.

Gleichman! Lugubriousness is IN! If you've got it flaunt it.

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-14-2002 05:56 PM:

Gleichman is a form of undead?

Where does he fall in the undead heirarchy?

Posted by Neal on 06-15-2002 01:18 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by Alkzndr

And for a moment there I read "Head Archery". Would that be shooting arrows at heads, or firing heads in place of arrows, or heads that shoot arrows?

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Don't you see? Head Archers are the true threat that the Gareth Nickel Skarka was built to defend us against. It all ties into the Undead Threads. The Undead Threads are necromantically-enchanted shrouds that cause any bodies wrapped in them to rise as undead Head Archers. These are, of course, skeletons that affix their skulls to the end of an arrow. When the Head Arrow strikes a target, the skull begins gnawing on the target's flesh, causing nasty tissue damage. The Gareth Nickel Skarka, lacking our weak flesh, is invulnerable to these attacks, and is thus our only savior.

Really! I'm not crazy! Put the straightjacket down! Aaaaargh!

Neal

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-15-2002 02:21 AM:

So the dead are rising at the same time that the Scree-fice hordes have been unleased upon the earth? Coincidence? I think not. I had previously assumed that Cynthia Celeste Miller and her insectile spawn were of extraterrestrial origin and this lead me to believe that the Scree-fice must be aliens as well. But now I realise that we actually know nothing about their origins. Perhaps in truth they are supernatural phenomenon. Could these be signs that the prophesied apokalypse is finally at hand?!

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-16-2002 03:59 PM:

Scree-fice Filk

Sung to the song: "Dirt Bike" by They Might Be Giants"

Here comes the Scree-fice

Beware of the Scree-fice

Because I hear they're comming to our town

They've got plans for everyone

and now I hear they're escaping Tangency so you had better check it out.

All hail the Scree-fice

Moderator Scree-fice

We saw his words and we're on our way

Now it's

Brain washing Scree-fice

Kidney munching Scree-fice

Mango fearing Scree-fice

In control

-bridge-

Soul crushing Scree-fice

Net propelled Scree-fice

You see I never thought I'd understand

'til that thing took me by the kidney

now I'm dead

dead

Ok... fine, my first filk.

This was meant as a warning..... the scree-fice have claimed one of our moderators already, and if you follow Tangency Turf, you know that the epidemic is already out of control.

Be prepared.

The Scree-fice menace is a very real thing.

Posted by Judas on 06-17-2002 03:21 AM:

Holy bear is not a hobgoblin

You see, because he is a bear. Hobgoblins are completely different. Even bugbears don't qualify.

So people shouldn't call him a hobgoblin, OK?

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-17-2002 03:24 AM:

Who the hell called Holy Bear a Hobgoblin!!??!!??

What the hell? Is there a Scree-fice out there trying to bag on "the Bear"?

We should get a posse together and have a beatdown. Protect the Bear that brings the funny!

Ok... back to bed for me.

Posted by SmegMOnkey on 06-17-2002 05:23 AM:

quote:

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Originally posted by AdrianChapman

Who the hell called Holy Bear a Hobgoblin!!??!!??

What the hell? Is there a Scree-fice out there trying to bag on "the Bear"?

We should get a posse together and have a beatdown. Protect the Bear that brings the funny!

Ok... back to bed for me.

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*hands everyone sticks,pitch forks,torches(the witch hunter type) and capsicum spray*,

LETS GET THE SCREE-FICE

Posted by Egil on 06-17-2002 06:10 AM:

We're watching.

Posted by Holy Bear on 06-17-2002 11:38 AM:

Thanks for that pre-emptive strike against anyone who would confuse me with a hobgoblin.

I think.

There's a comic strip waiting to happen in this thread.

Posted by SteveD on 06-17-2002 07:01 AM:

Speak to me of love and joy (and screefices)

Ack ack ack mommy. I just looked at Timecube, the WCOTC forums and the Breatharian website in the space of an hour. It's made me physically ill to gaze into that abyss and try to understand the people in it, and not condemn them out of hand (because condemnation makes us As Bad As Them, as they say in superhero comics). And it broke my brain and now all I want to do is weep...and pull back and nuke the planet from orbit.

So I could use a hug, and a brain-breathmint. I want to talk of love and joy and humour, of communication and sharing, all the good things in life that this forum is so rich with. Tell me a joke that doesn't hurt anyone. Tell me something good you did recently. Talk to me of what you are proud of, love, take joy in, and things you have embraced.

Also, if I was to write a Scree-fice filk, what song should I use? Is it a long eee or closer to an "i" like in hip? And does the last syllable rhyme with "rice" or "neice" or "hiss"?

Thanks.

Steve

Posted by Proteus on 06-17-2002 08:39 AM:

OK, what's this whole 'Scree-fice' thing?

[Dexter accent] I MUST KNOW!!![/Dexter accent]

-Proteus

Posted by Menteroso on 06-17-2002 08:46 AM:

Steve:

I say Skree-fiss or Skree-fice (like rice)

hope this helps.

Prot:

Scree-fices are the enemy.

Posted by SteveD on 06-17-2002 10:17 AM:

It's Still D&D to Me

(with apologies to Billy Joel)

What's happening with the game I'm playing

"Can't you tell that its had its day?"

Should I try adding angst to my stories?

"If you do, then you're totally gay!"

"Don't you know what it is that you've been missin?

D&D has come out in a whole new edition!

Everybody's talking bout the games new position!

But it's still D&D to me.

What's the matter with the rules I'm using?

"Can't you tell that they are so flawed?"

Maybe I should be buying Combat and Tactics?

"Do you want your players to be bored?"

Nowadays 2nd ed is too temp'ramental

Using it today would be just detrimental

Re-write, rules light, learn it all in one night

But it's still D&D to me

Cos it doesn't matter what they say on RPGNet

The game'll always be the same

No matter how you roll the dice

Doesn't matter if you change the rules for dragon flame

Or take the 'A' out of its name!

How about the rules for multiclass characters

And the kits in the Complete Handbooks?

"You could try and pull it in your home game, baby

But at cons you'll get some dirty looks"

Don't waste your time on an outta-date system

Got 2nd ed players? it's time for you to diss them

New start, few charts, fine art, no heart -

It's still D&D to me

What's the matter with the saving throws I'm making?

Can't you tell they make no sense?

Is it okay if I prefer to use the old style rules?

If you do, then you must be dense!

The new wave is here and it's time that you were switching

Don't join the losers on the net, who never stop their bitching

New age, glossy page, barbarians now can rage

But it's still D&D to me

Everybody's talking about the new rules honey

But it's still D&D to me.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-17-2002 10:20 AM:

You earn an any-position massive fucking from me for that. Just pick the time, place and flavor of condom.

-knew the song and got the joke MP

Posted by Egil on 06-17-2002 10:21 AM:

Ignorant humans.

It's scree-fice, like niece.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-17-2002 10:26 AM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Egil

Ignorant humans.

It's scree-fice, like niece.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, you must be a NORTHERN scree. We always say it like "fiss" down here.

That is, if we meant them and you ignore that I knew that he was northern and then...

Fuck. Gimme all yer goddamn eyes. I'm through playing around.

-and why the hell did I get stuck in a FAGGOT anyway MP

Posted by Menteroso on 06-17-2002 10:29 AM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Magic Pink

-and why the hell did I get stuck in a FAGGOT anyway MP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not enough lube?

menty (someone hadda say it)

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-20-2002 11:38 PM:

Scree is always pronounced with the ees like a buzzing bee.

Pronounciation of the Fice part varies quite considerably depending on local and accent and you can't really say any of them are wrong. However the earliest records of the Scree-fice Hunters show that the word was originally described as rhyming with the word rice.

Posted by Menteroso on 06-17-2002 09:24 AM:

Thread Titles we're likely to see

1. What's your phone number/SSN?

2. How many kids do you have?

3. What's your fave porn site?

4. Gleichman is my dad.

what else?

Posted by Afterburner on 06-17-2002 09:28 AM:

The Scree-fice Are Your Friends

The Scree-fice Come In Peace

WTF ARE THE STUPID SCREE-FICE?!?11?

Brian Gleichman is not a scree-fice

Is that fighter pilot SteveD uses for his avatar a scree-fice in disguise?

Posted by Mock on 06-17-2002 09:47 AM:

Touch it, Love it by Magic Pink (shocking! )

I'm...ssslurp...not a monster! by Scree-fice

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-17-2002 03:39 PM:

I'm going to Fuck EVERYONE by MP

How to spot a Scree-fice by Afterburner

PIE PIE PIE by Menteroso

Posted by Dr Rotwang! on 06-17-2002 05:35 PM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Jason Hinds

Scree-fise hate synthpop

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, then, they are evil!

Posted by Menteroso on 06-17-2002 09:55 AM:

[PSA] What is a Scree-fice?

A Scree-fice is a monstrous shapeshifter, possibly from outer space.

They take the form of comely persons and attack.

Specifically, they eat kidneys and eyes.

They are allergic to Mango tea.

More information as it become available.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-17-2002 09:57 AM:

Thus the ugly will be spared the slaughter?? That's hardly fair. We want to get RID of the ugly people. We must have got our orders crossed..I mean THEY. THEY must have got them crossed.

-not calling the Over-Scree-fice to clear this up MP

Posted by Keith Burkhead on 06-17-2002 09:59 AM:

Thanks Menty.

That has been bothering me ever since the term reared its head.

Posted by unheilig on 06-17-2002 10:05 AM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Magic Pink

Thus the ugly will be spared the slaughter?? That's hardly fair. We want to get RID of the ugly people. We must have got our orders crossed..I mean THEY. THEY must have got them crossed.

-not calling the Over-Scree-fice to clear this up MP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that explains EVERYTHING.

Posted by Egil on 06-17-2002 10:06 AM:

Sibling-who-was MP.

We will get rid of the ugly people. After assimilating the beautiful ones, we will eat the ugly ones' kidneys. And eyes.

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-17-2002 10:10 AM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Egil

Sibling-who-was MP.

We will get rid of the ugly people. After assimilating the beautiful ones, we will eat the ugly ones' kidneys. And eyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OOOOOOOhhh! Silly me, I didn't read all the way to the end of the report that was written on the baby skin. It was just so yummy-stinky that I...

*sigh*

THEY. They didn't read etc etc.

-prolly too late now but worth a shot MP

Posted by Judas on 06-17-2002 10:29 AM:

First of all, it is spelled "scree-fise", I know because I first discovered the term in ancient manuscripts during my investigations; but it seems "scree-fice" is a popular alternate spelling.

You can see the original discovery of the Scree-fise menace here:

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php...light=screefise

Alkzndr and I ran across the threat while investigating a "new obsession" of Adrian Chapman's. It appears Adrian was being assimilated by scree-fise, who can spread their condition by fluid transfer, assuming they don't want to just EAT YOUR KIDNEYS AND EYES!

After a bit of research, I found reference to these "scree-fise" in ancient manuscripts now kept in the secret library of the mysterious Dr. Rotwang!, and found out about the effectiveness of mango tea against the abominations. Adrian now seems normal.

I, and others like me, now stalk the night, hunting the scree-fise. We know we may fail, we may die. But if we can save just one Holy Bear, one Steve D, it makes it all worthwhile, no?

EDIT: Also, Stormbringer let us know in that same thread that apparently the scree-fise can see in the infrared spectrum!

Posted by Magic Pink on 06-17-2002 10:34 AM:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Judas

EDIT: Also, Stormbringer let us know in that same thread that apparently the scree-fise can see in the infrared spectrum!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We can???

Oo;

'Scuse me whilst I hit the lights...

....

Well, I'll be fucked up and naked. Look at that.

-kinda neat but I wouldn't trademark it MP

Posted by Marigold Mao on 06-17-2002 10:37 AM:

I thought it was just a phrase some HVCW made up so they could feel like they were more special than the subhumanoid that they are.

The wages of stupidity are death and hell.

Posted by AdrianChapman on 06-17-2002 03:47 PM:

Now I really like the mango tea....

quite tasty....

Posted by Crayne on 06-17-2002 05:10 PM:

I must confess I am a Scree-fise. Sorry.

Crayne

Posted by d3nial on 06-18-2002 12:12 AM:

scree fice infiltrate the 'net

unfortunately, and please do try to remain calm folks, it appears that the scree-fice (see also "scree-fise" or "scree fice") have taken firm root in the digital wilderness of the world wide web. I submit this link as proof:

http://www.google.co.nz/search?q=scree+fice&hl=en&lr=

we can only hope that the UNSAC (united nations scree-fice action committee) will ratify the draft plan to annihilate them.

more at 11.

d3nial

Posted by Alkzndr on 06-16-2002 12:38 AM:

Re: Brian Gleichman is a good guy

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Afterburner

Mr. Gleichman is a human.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I refuse to accept that. He must not be. He is subtle, in a way, for he leads you to believe that he actually means what he says. He does not. Do not doubt that for a second or you have already lost. Those who allow themselves to be angered by a Scree-fice then become more vulnerable to Scree-fice attacks. Remember that the Scree-fice can smell emotion and that this smell can be trasmitted through any medium, even text. I hope you have some mango-tea around.

Posted by Menteroso on 06-18-2002 01:40 PM:

I'm Starting a new era, dammit.

Resistance is Stupid.

Empress Jillian of the Scree-fice looked down into the viewing pool, watching for any small movement in the ripples and shadows within. Soon, the liquid in the pool began to coalesce into a shape, a blue and green sphere with a white bottom and top. This sphere grew larger until she was looking at the surface of it.

There were hundreds of thousands of bipedal creatures roaming the planet. Each one seemed intelligent enough, but as a whole, they looked rather dim. This we the next conquest.

"General!" the Empress shouted, "General, come here!"

With a ass-rendering crack, the door to the Empress' chamber banged open, revealing General M'tato, resplendent in his khaki polystyrene uniform.

"What is it, mistress?"

"There is a planet out there," she pointed to her left, "called 'urrrr-tha' that I want for my own. Get it for me!"

"Yes, mistress!"

Posted by SteveD on 06-18-2002 01:43 PM:

The general sighed deeply, wondering when he would get a real assignment. Then he stuck his arm out the window and yanked the planet out of the solar arm and into the palace.

"Here you go, your highness", he said, with heavy irony.

Smiling like a snake, the Empress put a little salt on the planet and devoured it with her powerful five-jawed mouth. The general felt ill; a whole planet before lunch was pretty decadent.

Posted by Theron on 06-18-2002 01:45 PM:

Still, he had more important matters to attend to. The bore worms were in a bad need of airing out.

Posted by Menteroso on 06-18-2002 02:54 PM:

Empress Jillian Looked at M'tato and asked "So, how goes the invasion of Earth?"

"Very well, my queen. We have found a world leader who is willing to rim himself for nickels and then tongue-kiss his wife for a dollar. In seven years, we will be at a point where we can take over the planet. That puts our major offensive at 2002, their calendar, which we also use because it's convenient."

"Well done. You may mate with one of my ladies-in-waiting."

Posted by TheMouse on 06-22-2002 02:37 AM: Kidney Thieves and KMFDM

I just came back from seeing KMFDM and Kidney Thieves. (Well... 16 Volt was there too, but I was in the other room making jokes with a group of people while they were on, so I missed them.) I came to the conclussion that I was FAR more excited for Kidney Thieves, even though there set was 6 or so songs long and that they were the first openning band. I have been waiting for a long time for Kidney Thieves to come to the east coast, and they are here. I talked to one of the band members for a while and tried to talk him into touring in western Massachusetts. It was lots of fun. I got their autographs and a Kidney Thieves hooded sweatshirt, even though it's the summer and I won't wear it for several months.

Anyway, I have two sort of points:

1. I had a really fun time and I wanted to share my joy and find out if perhaps anyone on this board was there.

2. It is odd that I went for the openning band. I've never done that before. I've always gone for the headliner, and this time I didn't really care that much. (Don't get me wrong, I like KMFDM, but I just wan't that excited to see them.)

Posted by Judas on 06-22-2002 12:22 PM:

I saw KMFDM at college many years ago. Not bad.

However, the Kidney Thieves are scree-fise. They TELL you right in their name, fer' chrissakes.

Posted by TheMouse on 06-22-2002 12:35 PM:

How did I NOT figure out that if I mentioned Kidney Thieves that someone would mention that they are scree-fise? I have no clue. None of them tried to eat any of my organs while I was chatting with them in the little side room, so I guess that that makes me either lucky or unappetizing. I'm not sure which one, yet. I'll try to find out later.

So, no one from here was at the show? That's disapointing. I know that some of you types of people are into that type of music, and there were some dorky people at the show (mostly me and my friends... but whatever), and I was hoping that there was some overlap.

Posted by Christian Walker on 06-20-2002 07:29 PM: Duelling Lofgrens

Who would have thought that there'd be two Eric Lofgrens who do freelance RPG work? Well, it was a shocker to me. Anyhoo, I was layin' out Scrollworks 25 and one article has text by Eric Lofgren and art by Eric M. Lofgren. Cool.

Now I need the two Steves....

Posted by Eric Lofgren on 06-20-2002 11:26 PM: Re: Duelling Lofgrens

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Christian Walker Who would have thought that there'd be two Eric Lofgrens who do freelance RPG work? Well, it was a shocker to me. Anyhoo, I was layin' out Scrollworks 25 and one article has text by Eric Lofgren and art by Eric M. Lofgren. Cool.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a conspiracy I tell you

I guess you're wondering when that cover's coming? Heh....soon, I promise. Unless of course you need it sooner, heh heh...

Eric The Real Thing

Posted by Judas on 06-21-2002 12:51 AM:

One of em' is a scree-fice.

Pour mango tea all over them both. Kill the one that screams and starts to foam and bubble.

Posted by Eric Lofgren on 06-21-2002 04:13 AM:

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Judas One of em' is a scree-fice.

Pour mango tea all over them both. Kill the one that screams and starts to foam and bubble. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You soulless bastard.. *gurgle*splurtch*

Posted by Rhombus on 06-21-2002 03:33 PM:

Just one question:

I'm still me, right?

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