How To Kill Yourself: The Movie
Leave it to Hollywood to make a film about a guy who, in two days, is gonna kill himself. I guess it was only a matter of time.
Paull Rudd stars as Paul Miller, a Hollywood actor who not only decides to kill himself, but to document it by hiring a second-, maybe even third-rate crew.
Charlie, who is somewhat easy going and looks like Eric Stoltz.
Stu, who takes this whole movie thing way too serious and tries to turn a documentary into an artsy film with a happy ending, the ending being him saving Paul from killing himself.
Mark, the camera guy who is highly sensitive about anyone touching his camera.
Bill, the sound guy who's a psedo-hippie.
Jennifer, the makeup lady who is also Stu's girlfriend. She constantly bugs Stu about having a baby, which irritates Stu to no end.
Cameron and Mike, two non descript guys who are from USC Film School documenting them documenting Paul. Mike is a hoot.
Paul and crew spends the last two days of Paul's life going around talking to people in his life and letting them know he's gonna off himself. He meets up with Nancy, an ex-girlfriend who's also a horrible actress. To talk Paul out of killing himself, she decides to fuck his brains out and during mid-orgasam, makes him promise not to do it. Of course, as anyone know, guys are quite capable of lying even while orgasam. Take "I love you" for example.
Next is Paul's friend Stephen, who plays a doctor on a soap opera and is probably gay. He thinks Paul isn't going to do it and denys that he (Stephen) is gay.
The crew tries to get an interview with Paul's last girlfriend Rachael but she takes off in a hurry. She has a job as a sassy school teacher on a Spike Lee created sitcom, who's catch phrase is "I just didn't hear that!" Needless to say, it's a popular sit-com.
While out to lunch, Paul runs into Ray, who is played by Donal Logue, who is the dad on "Grounded For Life" and provides humorous quips on VH1 for "I Love The (Insert Decade)". Paul also promises Ray that he won't kill himself, but was lying as well.
Man, this Paul guy is a big stinkin liar. If he wasn't about to kill himself I'd probably do it for him, if he promised me he wouldn't do it then he ends up doing it. Sheesh, what a douche.
Anyway, Paul is spending galore because the credit card companies wipe out your debt if you die, so he agrees to pay to get Bill's car fixed. Meanwhile, Jennifer and Stu are having major relationship problems. And Stu as a surprise for Paul:
He flew in Paul's parents!
Of course, hearing their kid is gonna kill himself, they're all upset and think it's their fault. You think, because these are his parents, he would actually be truthful and say it AND mean it, "I won't kill myself".
Well, no. He says it and STILL intends to kill himself. Jesus, what a jerk!! I hope his suicide is painful.
On the day of the "big event", the crew is starting to tear itself apart because Stu finds out that Bill fucked Jennifer because she wanted a baby, so Bill quits and Stu gets fed up with trying to save Paul that he quits as well. Then Mark takes off because he thought Paul was full of shit and wasn't going to do it, but now it's obvious he's gonna and Mark feels guilty. So does Cameron and Mike, who is a laugh riot because not only does he look like a young George Lucas, he doesn't say a word through the entire movie. So it's just Paul and Charlie.
Paul says his last goodbye's then, with some advice he got from Elvin, the mechanic who looks like Joey Buttafucco, goes to his car and puts a hose in the exhaust pipe and leads the hose to inside his car. Accordingly, this is quick and painless. But not clean, you're gonna shit yourself.
By now, you're probably on the edge of your seat wondering if he goes through with it or not. If he chickens out or he actually dies. Well...
I'm not gonna tell you.
Why not? Because despite the non-stop lying, this movie is pretty good and, at time, kinda funny. Not that I'm saying suicide is a funny matter. But I think you should see for yourself how it ends. It'll be worth it trust me.
I got an idea for another movie. The last three days that your pregnant before you give birth!!! We'll call it, "Contractions: Why Men Are Scum."
3 stars.
"Two Days" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320668/