Thirteen
"Requiem" For Teens

Only the following movies made me feel the way that I am feeling right now:
Requiem For A Dream
Mulholland Drive
Anything else by David Lynch Pretty Much
May
Now I can add "Thirteen" to list of movies that I like but will probably never see again to avoid feeling like I got hit by a bus.
We start with two girls, Tracy and Evie, getting high from shaving cream (seriously) and hitting each other. We stop and flashback to four months prior when Tracy was with her non-stoner friend Noel. Tracy lives with her single mom Mel and her older brother Mason.
Tracy and Noel go to school and they immedately get picked on by Evie and other popular girls. Deciding that's the life for her, Tracy throws all her clothes out, pickpockets this lady's wallet, and starts hanging out with the popular kids.
This all happens within the first ten minutes I should add. Get use to that whiplash feeling of being hurled to the next plotpoint. My neck hurts a bit right now.
Tracy and Evie become real good friends and start wearing slutty clothes and then the piercing starts. Tracy decides that Noel is too geek and stops being friends with her. Meanwhile at home, Mel's boyfriend Brady, who I'm willing to bet girls would find "hunky", comes by to routinely fuck Mel.
Umm...what else? Well, Tracy and Evie start having sex with lots of guys. They do drugs and they try to get the 20-something guy next door to have a threesome. Err...what else?
Tracy tries to convince Mel to let Evie stay with them because Evie claims she's getting abused by her "guardian" Brooke, who is a stripper. While Mel thinks about it, Tracy realizes that Evie isn't a good friend when all the partying she did with her made her fail the seventh grade and she has to repeat it. So Tracy and Mel say that Evie can't live with them, which upsets Evie so much she goes around telling lies about Tracy.
Later, Brooke comes by with Evie and tells Mel that Tracy is basically an evil bitch and that Evie was a good girl before knowing Tracy. Mel, knowing that's full of shit, gives Brooke the smackdown and she and Tracy cry until the movie ends.
Umm...oh yeah. Tracy cuts herself. Ok. The End.
There isn't much more to say really about this movie. If I wrote a typical review about this movie it'd read something like this:
"Then Tracy and Evie YET AGAIN give some guy a blow job while YET AGAIN snorting coke. Later, Evie and Tracy make out with some black dudes, YET AGAIN gives them a blowjob and smokes some weed. Later..."
And so on. So, basically, you just need to experience this mindfuck of a movie for yourself. Oh, and there is one real neat thing. The more the movie goes on and the more Tracy fucks up her life, the more gray and grimey the color of the movie looks. It's a neat effect.
I'm gonna go wash my brain out with Listerine now.
3 stars.

"Thirteen" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328538/
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