My First "Joint" Review
Spike Lee don't make "movies" or "films". Instead he makes "joints". So this is the first "joint" that I am reviewing. I only seen one "joint" and that was "Summer of Sam" and I wasn't too impressed with it.
John Henry Armstrong is a Vice-President of some company that is making a drug which is suppose to stop AIDS. This scientist Dr. Schiller says the drug isn't ready to be put out yet but Woody Harrelson and Ellen Barkin say otherwise and try to release it. As a result, Dr. Schiller jumps out of his window and dies.
Woody's character, Leland Powell and Ellen's character Margo tell John some corporate stuff like not to sell stocks or people's stocks are fucked up or go check on the livestock. John doesn't like what he hears so he decides to tattle and call some hot shots in Washington, who immedately investigates. As a result, John is fired.
The movie changes gears when John's ex-girlfriend Fatima, who is now a lesbian, and her lesbian girlfriend Alex show up. They want to have babies but since you kind of sort of need a guy for that, they ask John to fill in the blank. Oh and they offer him $5,000. He spends about roughly 2 seconds to think about this and he proceeds to knock some lesbian boots.
Deciding this is a good business Fatima tells ALL her lesbian friends about this and the next 35 minutes of the movie (maybe it was 45 minutes, I lost track) is John getting it on with a shitload of lesbians.
In between the getting it on scenes we get goofy graphics of sperm traveling through...whatever it is women have. So this is a pretty weird movie.
We kind of get back to the plot when a mobster's daughter wants John to get her pregnant and he proceeds to. The mobster, played by John Turtorro, wants to meet John and as a result of this some police spot John walking into his house. And as a result of this, they thing he's tied with the mob and finally arrests him.
John spends a good 6 to 8 months in prison, while all the lesbians have the babies, and everyone makes fun of him for doing this and we get a 10 minute scene of random people spewing their opinions about what John did. Before it turns into a male African-American version of "Citizen Ruth", it goes back to politics.
John is talking to Chairman Brian Dennehy about the Enron, er, the company he use to work for and how they tried to trick people into buying a faulty drug and all sorts of other stuff, which turns into a African-American version of "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington". He presents Chairman Dennehy with a DVD of Dr. Schiller's Diary (I wonder what the extra features were? Was there commentary?) and he had to leave cause Alex is about to give birth.
Judge Ozzie Davis tells John he's free to go and he decides he wants to get it on with Fatima AND Alex and raise the kids and pretty much create a very strange family.
In case you're wondering why this review is so short, I skimmed over the scenes with John's family telling him he's gonna burn in hell for getting it on with lesbians and a disturbing scene of rapper Q-Tip getting his sperm checked out. Oh and there are high dramatic moments between John and Fatima, Fatima and Alex, and John and Alex, which probably was a hint towards the ending but I was just kinda stunned by this weird daydream scene John had.
He daydreamed about the security guard who found the door at the Watergate Hotel taped open and he's about to call the cops when a dude in a Nixon mask, representing Nixon, yells at him. Then a bunch of other famous political dudes like G. Gordon Liddy surround him and yell at him also. I really have no idea how to word the scene properly, it just comes out of nowhere and it's really weird. Check it out for yourself.
And we get an explaination on the title "She Hate Me". It's based on some XFL player named Rod Smart who called himself "He Hate Me", and John thinks Fatima is a female version of him. Hence, "She Hate Me".
Yeah, I don't get it either. And this is a very strange movie but I think it was intended to be, so I think it's a pretty neat movie. You should check it out if you're interested in lesbians, politics, evil corporations, lesbians, lesbians having babies, and weird daydreams involving guys in Nixon masks.
Not bad for my first "joint" review.
3 stars.
"She Hate Me" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0384533/