Watch if You Want To See Will Ferrell's Ass
After hearing about how funny this movie is by my best friend, my girlfriend, and magazines I read, I had enough and said "OK DAMMIT!! I AM GOING TO WATCH IT!!!" So I did.
Luke Wilson is Mitch Martin, who is a 30 year old real estate-type guy. He is in San Diego for a conference when he decides to catch an early flight home. He arrives home (unclear where in America home is) and catches his wife Heidi, played by Juliete Lewis, watching a hardcore porno. He also catches a naked couple coming out of the bathroom blindfolded. Apparently, while Mitch is away, Heidi hosts "gang bangs" at their house.
Then we meet Frank "The Tank" who is played by Will Ferrell and is getting married to Marisa. Vince Vaughn's character Bernard "Beanie" tells him to just run but Frank holds his ground. During the reception, while a band plays a song littered with cuss words, Mitch makes a speech about the wife hosting a gang bang. Later, Mitch meets up with Nicole, a chick he had a crush on in high school and spills coffee on her.
The reason Beanie is against marriage is because he is stuck in a soul less marriage, which doesn't make ANY sense because he is married to Leah Remini's character Lara. Leah plays Carrie on "The King of Queens" and I think she is pretty freaking hot. But anyway...
Mitch finds a house near the college he, Frank, and Beanie use to attend. To celebrate Mitch's "Freedom", Frank and Beanie throw a blowout party and invite all the college kids to attend. Frank even invites Snoop Dogg to appear and perform. Frank shows why he's called "The Tank" by guzzling beer bong after beer bong until he's soooo wasted that he decides to go streaking in the streets of the town.
Which is where his wife finds him. This pretty much upsets her and she asks for a seperation for a bit so she could "think things over".
The next day Mitch wakes up next to the second hottest chick on TV, Elisha Cuthbert, who is Marcy. Apparently they got it on and she says it's cool, it's only a one night stand thing and she leaves, thinking they'll never meet again.
Well...no. Turns out she's his bosses daughter AND she's a senior in HIGH school. Yikes. Well, Mitch has bigger problems anyway. Turns out the Dean of the college is an old nerdy guy they use to pick on, Gordon Pritchard, played by Jeremy Piven, whom they nicknamed "Cheese". I rather not know why. Anyway, Gordon "The Cheese", to get back at Mitch, says he can't live at the house because it's reserved for school fuctions...or a fraternity. This gives him, Beanie, and Frank an idea.
To start a chess club.
NOOO!!! I mean start a fraternity. And it's the kind of frat where ANYBODY, young or old, skinny or fat, jock or geek, dumb or smart, can join. And they have wild parties, like having KY wrestling in the basement where naked women try to wrestle Blue, the oldest dude in the frat. But the excitment is too much for him and he dies. Frank sings a lovely redention of "Dust In The Wind" at the funeral.
Gordon finds out about the frat and is rather upset. But because all frat's need to be approved by a student council, Gordon bribes the President of the council and they reject the frat.
Mitch gets a repetition around campus and the town, with everyone calling him "The Godfather" and whatnot, which aggrivates him a little because he's trying to score with Nicole and he doesn't want her to know about the whole thing.
But it's a little late I guess because Nicole starts dating Mark, played by Craig Kilborn (This cast is getting more and more of a wide range, huh?). At Beanie's son's birthday party Mitch catches Mark trying to get it on with a waitress but Mark says "What, you gonna tell? Only women tell!" so Mitch has to keep it a secret.
But it works AGAINST Mitch when Mark tells Nicole that it was MITCH who was messing around with the waitress. This freaks Nicole out. She freaks out even more when Marcy stops by and apologizes for not telling him she's the bosses daughter and that their "affair" is a secret. So, yeah, that don't look too good on Mitch's part.
Well, the icing on the cake is when Mitch's house gets boarded up and he finds out they're all being throw off campus and any students at the school is getting expelled. But they find a rule stating that if they take the academic's test of the school and pass, they can stay.
So they take the test which involves debating James Corvelle, the bald angry dude who's on TV a lot, team spirit, some sort of written exam, and finally gymnastics. They pass but because Pritchard is such a prick (they those words almost rhyme. Hmmm...) he says because Blue got a ZERO (because he's dead) their score goes down and they fail.
They just about given up when the president of the council manages to tape record Pritchard saying he bribed her and she plays it for Mitch. Gordon steals the tape and Frank chases him and they have a big brawl throughout the school, even in classrooms. Luckily during it, Frank snuck the tape out of the recorder.
So Gordon is in jail, the Frat gets to reside in his old place, Nicole dumped Mark and goes with Mitch, Beanie coaches some kids game (Didn't understand that part), Frank becomes the school's radio DJ and new President of the Frat AND hooks up with Heidi, Mark crashes his car over a bridge, which smashes Gordon, who was fly fishing, and we see Blue in heaven playing "Dust In The Wind" on piano.
Phew!!
Ok, the things I couldn't fit in this review which was just hilarious:
Andy Dicks cameo as a gay guy who teaches women how to give blowjobs.
Sean William Scott's cameo as the hateful animal trainer who witnesses Frank getting a tranquilizer dart in the neck, and Frank stumbling around the party all doped up, until he falls into a pool, when Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sounds of Silence" plays. Later, Frank french kisses Sean's character, who then kicks him back into the pool.
Anytime Beanie wants to cuss in front of his kids, he says "earmuffs", then they cover their ears and he swears up a storm.
And finally, this whole movie had a "Fight Club" feel to it. You know, a normal guy who works for a corporation of sorts is in an underground/secret orginization, everyone in towns treats him with respect and do odd tasks for him, and so on. Then I read on "IMDb.com" that the writer and director Todd Phillips WANTED to make a comedic version of Fight Club. So I WAS RIGHT!! WOO!!!!!
Well, this movie kicked ass!!! See it now!! Now I know why everyone wanted me to see it. It rules.
Now I can finally tell the mailman to leave me alone.
4 stars.
Old School on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302886/