It is SO a Chick Flick
I have gotten into several arguments with friends about November's subject of movies I would be tackling. I planned on watching "Chick Flicks", only so I can be clever and watch the movie "Sweetest November" (Coming November 28). So I tell friends this and they say "What movies are you going to watch?" And then I mention "The Hours" and they say "Oh, that's not a chick flick." I argue that it is because the cast is mainly women, the target audience is women, and I don't know many guys who have seen this willfully without the presence of a woman. That's a chick flick, right?
But everyone kept telling me it isn't and since I hadn't seen it, I backed down and said, "Ok, ok. November is going to be dramatic movies." But now that I have seen "The Hours" what do I think?
(Ahem)...
IT'S A FREAKING CHICK FLICK!!!!!
Thank you. Now for my review so you can see why and how it's a chick flick.
The movie starts off in 1941 in England and Virginia Woolf, played by Nicole Kidman with a very ugly fake nose, kills herself by walking into a river.
You already know what kind of movie you're in for.
Then it backtracks to 1923, in another part of England, where Virginia and her husband Leonard live in a big house with servents that don't seem to like her a whole lot. She is writing a book called "Mrs. Halloway".
We then go to Los Angeles, 1951, where Julianne Moore, who was pretty much nameless until the end of the movie, is planning on a birthday dinner for her husband Dan, played by John C. Reily. Her and her kid, who is also nameless but there's a good reason for why, and I'll get to that in a moment, plan on making a cake. While the cake is baking and whatnot, she is reading the Virginia Woolf book.
Jump ahead again to 2001, in New York City and Meryl Streep plays a lesbian named Clarissa. What? I didn't stutter, she plays a lesbian. And her girlfriend is played by Allison Janney. What? I'm serious. Anyway, Clarissa shares a name with the main character in Virginia Woolf's book so in a way she is living the book. Kinda strange, huh? Virginia is expecting her sister and her kids to come and visit, which they do. But Virginia spends the entire time writing her novel in her head, saying that people are gonna die and whatnot. She freaks out her sister and they all leave.
Julianne Moore's character, named Laura it turns out to be, is visited by her friend Kitty, who has 1950's bosom. If you don't know what 1950's bosom is or looks like, watch any movie made between 1950 and 1959 and look at the woman's bosom's. Apparently, the bosom's turn Laura on because-
LAURA AND KITTY MAKE OUT!!!!
AND IN FRONT OF THE KID!!!
Back in 1923, while saying their goodbyes, Virginia and her sister, Vanessa...
ALSO MAKE OUT!!!
IN FRONT OF VANESSA'S DAUGHTER!!!
I'm sensing a common theme in this movie.
Clarissa is planning a party at her house in honor of her friend Richard, played by Ed Harris. Richard is dying from AIDS and is understandably depressed. Apparently at one point in their lives, Richard and Clarissa got it on but now he's gay and she's a lesbian so I guess that flame died quickly.
Virginia wants to leave the one part of England and decides to run away, but her husband catches up to her at the train station. There, we get a glimpse into the life of Virginia Woolf in case you didn't know. She was the 20th century Emily Dickinson. Enough said. She tells her husband that she'll kill herself (again) if they don't leave the part of England. The husband agrees.
In 1951, Laura wants to kill herself, but her reason's aren't very known. She drops the kid off at a babysitter's house and he freaks out. Luckily she didn't go through it and came back to pick the kid up. After seeing two sisters make out, I was waiting for a little kid-on-mom action to happen here. Luckily it never came. I'm surprised actually.
In 2001, Clarissa is also kinda upset but her reason's aren't very known either. She has a breakdown in front of Richard's ex-boyfriend Louis, played by Jeff Daniels. Yes, Jeff Daniels is gay in a movie, jeez get over it, will you? The reason Louis is gay is apparent when he doesn't know how to handle a woman having a breakdown and he leaves. Clarie Danes, who plays Julia, Clarissa's daughter, shows up to help with the party and to calm Clarissa down. Yet again, after the Laura/Kitty kissing scene and the two sisters kissing scene, I was waiting for some Mother/Daughter action to happen. And it probably would've it, except someone kept buzzing at the door.
Clarissa goes to pick up Richard, he is trippin' on some pills he took and he kills himself. It is then that we learn that Richard is the kid in the 1951 scenes and Laura is his mom. That explains a lot. Laura makes an appearance in 2001, super old, and tells Clarissa that she left Richard and his younger sister (Laura was pregnant throughout the 1951 scene) one day and moved to Canada. Yet again I was waiting for some old lady on old lady action going on, but instead we get-
MERYL STREEP AND ALLISON JANNEY ACTION!!!
And then it goes back to Virginia Woolf killing herself. The end.
If you thought reading this review was a trip, you should see this movie if you haven't. It seems to me the lesbian kissing scenes were thrown in so guys would wake up during the movie. There are some rather boring moments, with talking non-stop, plus Virginia Woolf is just wayyyyy depressing. Now do you see why this is a chick flick? Only women can possibly understand what the hell was going on, plus the lesbian scenes...yeah definate chick flick. And anyone who tells me differently, boy are they going to get an ear full.
2 stars.
See What IMDb.com Says About "The Hours":
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274558/