Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Meyers
Phoebe's Boyfriend & Donald Plesance To The Rescue
Last time on "Friday Night Video Review"!
The answers to these questions, and more maybe, will hopefully be found out in next week's review.
Now the stirring conclusion!!!
Umm...well there really isn't one. Because different people make each "Halloween" movie, and I guess they don't like each other or something so they can't finish up what happened in the last movie correctly. That's like campers who take turns telling a story, stopping a Forest Ranger out of nowhere and telling him to finish the story without knowning how it ended. In any case, a lot of stuff is still unanswered.
It's however many years later after "H5" and the little girl Jamie is all grown up now and is in labor, about to give birth. She's in some basement somewhere where guys in red robes surround her. Guess she had a horrible HMO. Anyway, she gives birth and the guys in robes take the baby. But somehow some nurse who I guess was working freelance managed to snatch the baby away and give him to Jamie. Jamie takes the kid like a football and runs for a touchdown. But guess who's coming up right behind her...
Jamie stops at a bus station where she calls a Howard Stern/Mancow hybrid radio show guy named Barry asking Dr. Loomis for help. Yep, Donald Pleasence managed to make it into the early 90's to replay Dr. Loomis for one last time.
Remember in the first "Halloween" movie there was this little boy that Jamie Lee Curtis was babysitting, named Tommy? Well, he's all grown up now and he lives across the street from the infamous Michael Meyer's house. Oh and he's played by then newcomer Paul Rudd, who went on to boink Lisa Kudrow's character Phoebe on "Friends". Tommy hears the call on the radio, managed to tape it and figure out the call was from the bus station. So he goes to investigate and he follows the trail of blood that no one at the bus station seemed to notice which lead to the bathroom sink, where there was a puddle of blood just sitting there, and the baby was inside some locker thing crying, which also went un-noticed. I know bus stations are noisy but sheesh.
Anyway, Tommy takes the baby home with him and keeps an eye on it, along with the Michael Meyer's house, which is now being lived in by a family who are somewhat related to Jamie Lee Curtis' character in the first two "Halloween" movies. The dad, John, is the biggest jerk I've ever seen, who's married to Debra, who is the mousiest woman ever, and their kids Tim, who is a rather non-descript character and Kara, who is the main focus of this movie, and Kara's little boy Danny.
Because of the events in "H5", Halloween is banned in Haddenfield, but Kara and her friend Beth, who's also Tim's girlfriend, are trying to bring it back. Dr. Loomis is concerned about everything, again, so he goes to their house and talks to Debra, telling her about Michael Meyers and stuff. Debra is all upset and calls John telling her she's leaving. But she doesn't get a chance, Michael kills her.
Kara comes home and finds Tommy and Danny sitting in Danny's room. Kara is freaked out by Tommy because of him watching her house and all, but he explains everything and tells her it's best they chill at his house. So they do. John comes home, rather drunk, and meets Michael also. Oh and John gets the coolest death in this movie. Michael not only stabs him, but he puts the knife or whatever he used through the electrical box in the basement and he's just getting electrocuted until his head explodes!! AWESOME!!!
There's a Halloween party where Barry the talk radio guy shows up and he talks to Beth and Tim about Michael Meyers. Barry finds out that Tim lives in Michael's old house and wants to broadcast his show from there. But before that happens, Michael manages to shred him pretty good, then throw him in a tree, where Tommy and Dr. Loomis find him. Really concerned, they rush back to Michael's house, where Beth and Tim are having sex. WOO!! Nudity!!! Finally, they got the horror movie formula right. Took them 6 movies. Well, needless to say, Michael kills Tim and Beth. And because Danny is a freaked out kid, he hears voices and they tell him to go into the house, so Kara chases after him.
Inside she confronts Michael, several times over the head actually, until Tommy and Loomis show up. They go back to Tommy's house but the baby is gone. Where's the baby? Who else knew about the baby? What is going on? Well, I can answer the first two questions. The last one, well, the movie goes downhill and then nothing makes any sense.
Tommy lives with this old lady named Mrs. Blankenship and she is part of this cult that also includes Loomis' friend Dr. Wynn. What the cult wants with the kid is a mystery, it's never explained, but Wynn has the baby and he and his fellow cult dudes drug Tommy and Loomis. Kara flies out the window in the movie's biggest laughable moment ever. When Loomis and Tommy wake up, Kara, Danny, the baby, and I'm assuming Mrs. Blankenship are gone. Loomis figures out where they all went: the hospital Michael spent most of his teenage life at.
Kara wakes up there, and in a white dress for some unexplained reason. Tommy and Loomis arrive but they get seperated. Loomis confrots Wynn but Loomis is knocked out again (sheesh) and Wynn says he must "get to work". Tommy finds Kara and they go in search of the baby and Danny. They find them, but they also see Wynn and other doctors/cult people getting ready for surgery. Who are they going to operate on? Why are they operating on them? What the hell is going on?????
None of these questions get answered because Michael shows up and kills everyone. Kara and Tommy snag the baby and Danny and am-scray. Michael chases them down until Tommy tricks Michael and manages to drug the living shit out of Michael, then beating the shit out of him with a big metal pipe. Loomis rushes in and takes Kara, Danny, and the baby and tells them to go!! Leave!!! GET OUT!!!!!! (See, Donald has this tendancy to overact and just shout lines for no reason) And so they, along with the movie and any idea what the hell was going on, does in fact gets out.
So...what the hell was going on??? I have no clue. I just know that Michael was/is/going to forever be part of that cult that wanted the baby. Did Michael want the baby for the same reason? What the hell was that reason? How did Jamie get pregnant? Do I even want to know?! Considering the next movie after this is "H20" no one will ever know, because I seen "H20" and it has nothing to do with this movie at all. So now I'm just extremely aggrivated. But there was some cool death scenes. And nudity finally.
So anyway, if you, dear reader, have any idea what the hell was going on, please let me know. Or if you wanna make up a reason in form of a screenplay or story, send that to me as well. I'll take just about anything at this point.
1 star.
"Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Meyers" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113253/