Don't Fear The Rabbit!
Four different times (more or less) I tried to watch this movie and I wasn't successful any of those times. Finally, I said, "Hell with it, I'm watching it this upcoming Friday" and here I am, at last!
This movie boasts an all-star cast, which includes Jake Gyllenhaal, Jena Malone, Drew Barrymore (who is also the executive producer), Patrick Swayze, and Noah Wyle, which for a somewhat Indie-flick, that's pretty impressive.
Jake is Donald "Donnie" Darko, a very disturbed "teenager" with some issues. He hears voices and tends to go wandering everynight and wakes up in odd places. Donnie also has two sisters, Elizabeth and Samantha, one older, one younger. His parents, Eddie and Rose, sort of have a strange sense of humor about stuff, including Donnie's mental issues.
One night, on October 2, 1988 (I'm still unclear why this movie took place in the 80's, maybe they just wanted to use a bunch of 80's songs and so it's not so dated decided to have it take place then) Donnie is out doing his sleepwalking thing when suddenly this GIANT ASS airplane engine crashes into their house, right on top of Donnie's room actually. Everyone's freaked cause of Donnie was in there...
So the F.A.A are like "We don't know where it came from, we can't find the rest of the plane, it's like the engine just came out of nowhere!"
Hmm...
Well, while Donnie was doing his sleepwalking thing, this weird looking guy in a demonic rabbit suit named Frank starts talking to Donnie. He tells Donnie that the world is gonna end in "28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds" from that point in time.
Wow, the apocolypes is kinda anal, huh?
Wait, 28 days? Is this where those British people came up with the idea for "28 Days Later"? That'd be weird.
Anyway, not a whole lot happens at this point, just the Darko's staying in a hotel while a Tears For Fears song plays through a montage of the rest of the characters meet each other and we have to wait until later on to get their names, which kinda sucks. Oh and Donnie talks to his psychaitrist, Dr. Thurman, who I think is played by the one chick who was Cagney...or Lacy...I forget. The blonde one. Yeah, her.
We also see Donnie go to school, which is some sort of private school, where he meets up with his friends Sean and Ronald, they pick on this fat Chinese chick named Cherita, and make fun of "Grandma Death", who's real name is Roberta Sparrow.
For some very strange reason, in one of Donnie's classes, taught by a Miss Kitty Farmer, who is the biggest bitch I've seen in a movie in 2005 (2004's honor goes to Madonna in "Swept Away"), they have to watch an infomercial called "Controlling Fear" which is hosted by Jim Cunningham, played by Patrick Swayze. He tells us that we shouldn't always be in "fear" and to let go of our "fear" and go into "love". During one of these classes, Miss Farmer has the students read these character cards and tells them to put, on a line, where the characters fall in, between Fear and Love. Donnie, nor I, got the point of this and told her to "take the Fear Line and place it every so forcefully into her anus", which is what I would've done.
Donnie also meets Gretchen, played by Jenna Malone, and they eventually start dating, kiss, and eventually fuck before the movie is over. She, dispite the fact she's dating him, gets freaked out by Donnie and his weird moods and problems. Now I know how my girlfriend must view me.
And Donnie continues to see Frank every now and then, mentioning time travel and the end of the world stuff. And every now and then we get a title card saying things like "October 6, 1988 '24 Days Left'" and "October 10, 1988 '20 Days Left'" and so on.
Oh, and this Frank dude makes Donnie do some strange things, like break into the school, break the waterline, and slam an ax into the school's mascot, whom they called "The Mongrel". Frank also makes Donnie burn down Jim Cunningham's house, and as a result the police find Jim's kiddie porn collection.
I knew something wasn't right with this guy.
Upon hearing Frank mention time travel, he talks to his science teacher, Mr. Monnitoff (Noah Wyle), who gives him a book called "The Philosophy of Time Travel" written by one crazy ass old lady named Roberta Sparrow. She is presently 101 years old and periodiocally goes back and forth from the middle of the street to her mailbox and back again, everyday, all day.
Drew Barrymore is the English teacher who is simply named Karen. She really doesn't play a role into the whole time travel thing, but she gets blamed for all the shit that's been going on cause she's making her class read a book that has the characters breaking water lines and burning people's houses.
You know, considering she was the executive producer of the movie, you think she'd have more to do in the movie. Oh yeah, she's also fucking Noah Wyle. I wonder who's idea that was...
Donnie's little sister Samantha is in some little girl dance troupe called Sparkle Motion and they perform at a talent show, where there's exactly 4 days until the end of the world. They win the talent show, get picked to go to "Star Search '88" out in L.A (They don't mention where in America this all takes place), and Rose Darko has to go chaprone cause Miss Kitty Farmer thinks Jim is innocent and is having a hunger strike or something until he's freed.
So while the parents are out of town, Elizabeth and Donnie throw a Halloween party at their house when Donnie freaks out about something and he, Gretchen, Sean, and Ronald all decide to go to Crazy Old Sparrow's place. There, they run into two roughians who were gonna rob Sparrow (I guess), but are surprised to see Donnie and Gretchen there. While fighting in the middle of the street, a car comes along, runs over (and I think kills) Gretchen. The driver of the car?
Some dude...in a demonic rabbit suit...named Frank. Upon seeing this, Donnie shoots Frank in the eye, killing him.
Holy fucking shit!!
What happens next is even more weird. While flying back from L.A, the engine of the plane Rose and Samantha are on breaks off, falls into some worm hole, which transports it BACK IN TIME to...
October 2nd, 1988.
Now this I don't totally understand. Somehow, this time around, Donnie is in his room. I dunno if he traveled back with the engine or what, but he's in his room when the engine comes crashing down, making him go SPLAT! and, thusly, killing him.
While the super depressing song "Mad World" plays, we get a montage of all the characters, on October 2nd, 1988, all out of jail, in their burnt free house, all alive, not so depressed, while the police carry out Donnie's smushed body out of the house.
So...what the hell happened? I really don't have a clue. I can make some guesses though.
Frank's ghost went back in time, taunted Donnie and made him wreck havoc, causing Jim's house to burn down and for him to go to jail, causing Karen to get fired from her job, and getting Gretchen killed. I guess Frank wanted to prevent all of this, so he (or something) made the engine fall apart, go through a wormhole, kill Donnie, so Karen won't be fired, Gretchen will be alive and...Jim's house not burn down therefore him getting away with having child porn?!?
What the hell? Why would Frank want Jim to get away with having child porn? That part's bugging me, honestly.
Oh, and I'm guessing because Donnie's dead, Samantha isn't gonna feel like dancing, which means Cherita, who came on before Sparkle Control, will get picked to go to Star Search...which means SHE'LL end up dead on the plane...
Ok, this isn't making any sense. I don't know what the hell was going on and what the point of it was. But I did like the dark tones and Jake Gyllenhaal did a great job acting really creepy and like a weirdo.
Maybe he can play me in my life story.
3 stars.
"Donnie Darko" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/