The Cube Should Try Decaf If It's So Hyper
Ok, this is probably gonna be a brief review because I honestly didn't understand a damn thing that happened in this movie.
Rebecca Young finds herself in a cube room, she opens a door and is forcefully taken through the door. Then it goes to this old dude who stumbles into a room, mumbling about numbers, a reference to the first movie. He passes out in the room.
Kate Filmore stumbles upon Simon Grady, a knife welding psycho. I'm guessing the "Cube" movies need some sort of psycho in their movies. Then the rest of the characters stumble into Kates and Simon's cube. They are:
Jerry Whitehall, some sort of designer who says he designed the fast motion doors that open when you touch them. Max Reisler, a computer game designer who came up with the concept, for a game, of having people trapped in a 3-D cube. Mrs. Paley, a crazy old lady who use to be a theoretical mathemagician, but now seems to have gone batty. And to cover both an ethic person AND a handicapped person, there's Sasha, a blind Asian girl. They all discover the old dude from the beginning, trying to hang himself, he is Colonel Thomas MacGuire, part of the Department of Defense. In the room they are in, they hear some sort of rumbling and Sasha says, "Oh no! They're coming!" over and over. They turns out to be some force that moves the wall, which is coming closer and closer. The Colonel handcuffs himself to the ladder, and the wall squishes him.
They all talk about why they're in there and what they do. They are all connected to this company named Izon, who makes weapons. Jerry helpfully explains they are in a hypercube, which really shouldn't exsist cause it's in the fourth dimension, which mean they're breaking a whole shitload of laws of physics, and Jerry is right. It appears time as no boundaries, you look in one cube and you see yourself leaving. And also in the hypercube there exists alternate realities, meaning alternate versions of themselves is also stumbling around the cube.
Max then discovers Julia, who is a lawyer representing Izon. While roaming away, Mrs. Paley opens a door and finds her alternate self being killed by an alternate Simon, who then gets his head chopped off. Everyone freaks out and leaves.
In another room, they decide to rest when the blind girl Sasha feels a presence. She felt this little square that's floating in the room, which turns into a triangle, then a rectangle, and keeps forming until it beings huge and grows blades. It ends up chopping Jerry to pieces.
Here, everyone seperates, leaving Kate with Sasha, Max with Julia, and Simon with Mrs. Paley, but she doens't last long, some weird long blocks kill her. Simon stumbles upon an alternate Jerry, and kills him and then eats him. Simon does this to three more Jerry's and the chick from the beginning, Rebecca Young.
Max and Julia have sex, but while do so, time speeds up, and they age quite a lot until they die, mid-humping. Kate is with Sasha, until Sasha reveals she is really some brillant hacker named Alex Trask, who designed the whole thing. Then Simon steps through and tries to attack Kate, but she stabs him in the eye. Then a much older and eyeless Simon appears being Sasha/Alex, snaps her neck, and he and Kate fight to the bitter end, until Kate figures out what the cryptic writing on the wall, 60659, means: that at 6:06 and 59 seconds, the entire cube, because it's breaking these laws, will implode.
Kate opens a door, finds a lot of nothingness, and jumps in before it implodes. She falls into a warehouse somewhere, where some shady government people shoot her. Yeah...
I had no choice but to breeze through this review because the stuff I didn't mention made no sense really. The last movie used math, this movie used quantum physics. I hate movies that are geared towards smart people.
And Sasha, the blind girl, was annoying. Why is every blind girl in every movie I see so annoying. I love "The Langoliers" but I hate that blind girl Dinah. I dunno if they're just annoying cause they can't see or what it is, but they just need to chill out.
1 star.
"Cube 2: Hypercube" on IMDb.com:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285492/