The following things...
How "The Hours" Is A Chick Flick:
All the women get emotional too damn easy.
I don't think many guys know who Virginia Woolf is, expect her named is used in that Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton movie.
Sure, men get a kick out of lesbians kissing, but not when it's Meryl Streep.
A lot of people die. But not in cool ways like explosions or gun fire.
Oh, and finally, the mere presense of Meryl Streep.
How "Dancer In The Dark" Is A Chick Flick:
Main lead is female.
Bad stuff happens to the main female.
Female is a single mom.
So many bad things happen to the main female that women can be heard crying miles away.
And if you're a Bjork fan, you really cry your ass off at the end, screaming, "NOO!! BJORK!!! I LOVE YOU!!"
How "Monster's Ball" Is A Chick Flick:
Every scene before and after the naked Halle Berry scene. The naked Halle Berry scene is for the guys only, so the women can go to the bathroom to dry their tears and reapply their mascara.
How "Sweet November" Is A Chick Flick:
Keanu is shirtless for half the movie.
The main female is dying.
There are gay guys in the movie.
The ending is depressing has hell, because, apparently, women like to be depressed. Who the hell knows why.