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| Labels |
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| These are actual labels on actual packets... and proof that humans aren't quite what we ought to be. 1. On a blanket from Taiwan: Not to be used as protection from a tornado. 2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you (well... it is the US!) 3. Shampoo from Taiwan: Use repeatedly for severe damage. 4. On the bottle top of a flavoured milk drink: After opening, keep upright. 5. On a New Zealand insect spray: This product not tested on animals. 6. A US guide to setting up a computer: To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening. (What's wrong with that!? I hear you cry... Well: the instructions were INSIDE the box!!) 7. Japanese product to remove painful hemorrhoids: Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected portion like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool for approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet. 8. Bottom of some Coke bottles: Open other end. 9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins: Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal? 10. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping! 11. Bags of chrisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 12. Bar of soap: Use like regular soap (You don't say!) 13. Tesco's Tiramisu: Do not turn upside down. (Not the strangest thing to print on a box... but they could have put it on the top instead of the bottom!!) 14. M&S Bread and Butter Pudding: Product will be hot after heating (Really!?) 15. Korean kitchen knife: Warning! Keep out of children! (It's hardly going to deter a mass murderer, is it!?) 16. Chinese christmas lights: For indoor and outdoor use only! (Uh, where did you think I was going to put them!?) 17. Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use (And that'd be...?) 18. Sainsbury's peanuts: Contains Nuts. 19. Instructions on American Airlines' packet of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts. (Well... even the simplest things escape some people) 20. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop with your hands or genitals. (I seriously hope they didn't put that on because of a complaint!! OUCH!!!) 21. On a superman costume: This garment does not enable you to fly. 22. On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. 23. Hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. 24. Packaging on an iron: Do not iron clothes on body. 25. On Boots' CHILDREN'S cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. 26. On Nightly Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (Isn't that the whole point!?) 27. On a mirror in Asda: Please note, this is a mirror. 28. On After Shave Balm: Use on just shaved skin or anytime. |