SCENE: The Synagogue. Two cleaners enter through the curtain.
MAGGIE: We'd better dae in here noo.
JEANNIE: Ye'd think wi' a' the prayin' they dae in here, they'd pray awa' some o' the dirt.
MAGGIE: Ach, stop yer moanin' an ' get a move oan.
(MAGGIE dusts the front pew,JEANNIE brushes the carpet)
JEANNIE: Here. Did ah tell ye aboot oor Malkie ?
MAGGIE : Mary's boy ?
JEANNIE: Naw, Teenie's laddie. He went tae work fur auld Caiaphas, the High Priest.
MAGGIE: So,whit happened tae him ?
JEANNIE: Well,....ye mind yon Jesus whit wis crucified ?
MAGGIE: Aye ,it wis a shame . Ah fair liked him.
JEANNIE : Aye,only 'cause he fed thoosan's o' folk wi' a wee laddie's lief - piece !
MAGGIE: (fair affrontit ) ..Well...................
JEANNIE : Can ah get oan wi' ma story ? This Jesus an' his followers were ower oan the faur side o' the city.
MAGGIE : Gethsemane ?
JEANNIE : That's it ! Well,it seems Malkie an' a hale crowd o' them were tellt by the High Priest an' the elders tae go an' bring Jesus in. Yin o' Jesus' followers ,an Iscariot wis gonnae point him oot by gien him a kiss,so they widnae get the wrang yin. Imagine turnin' in yer best freen' . Onywey, aff they went carryin' swords an' clubs.
MAGGIE: Jist tae arrest ane man ?
JEANNIE: Aye. So this Iscariot goes up tae Jesus, gi'es him the kiss that wis the signal. Then the rest can' up an' grabbed him. Did ye ivver see the big fisherman that wis wi ' Jesus ? Name o' Peter ?
MAGGIE : Cannae mind him .
JEANNIE : Well,does he no' tak ' his sword oot an' wallop ! He whacks oor Malkie oan the side o' the heid an' cuts his ear aff ! Whit a mess !
MAGGIE : Cuttin' Malkie's ear aff wisnae gonnae stap Jesus bein' arrestit !
JEANNIE : It wis gey funny that ! Malkie said Jesus didnae seem tae mind bein' arrestit, fur he said that wis whit hud tae happen. But he wis nut chuffed wi' Peter an' tellt him tae pit his sword doon . Can ye imagine it though. There's Jesus traipsin' roon' the countryside a' the time sayin' " Love yer enemies,be nice tae people ye cannae stand ", then ane o' his pals whacks Malkie's ear aff.
MAGGIE : Nae wunner he wisnae chuffed.!
JEANNIE : Aye ,but better yet ,ye'll nivver guess whit Jesus did next ?
MAGGIE : Whit ??
JEANNIE : He picks up Malkie's ear ,shoves it back oan the side o' his heid an' heals it.
Tae look at it noo ye'd nivver ken it hud ivver been aff.
MAGGIE: That's amazin' .! ...........................
Will ye no' pey attention tae whit ye're daein' ? The meenister might no' see the dust in the corners - but God does an' so does the Beadle.!
JEANNIE : Ah still say if they'd jist mention the dirt in their prayers we'd huv less work tae dae .
(EXEUNT)
