The One And Only Talking Tree

By Stephanie Hunt

Once upon a time there was this kid who was a real smart-ass. He talked back to everyone and absolutely no-one liked him. He lived in a small village in the middle of a European country with his country bumpkin family. Eventually his smart-ass comments got so bad that he was banished from the village and set out to roam aimlessly through the forest which covered the area surrounding the small cute little village.
He caused havoc at every human settlement he visited and at each place he was banished because of his constant little jokes. Then one day he came across this cute little, delicious looking cottage made out of nothing but candy. He, of course, was kinda hungry as all the animals kept away from him and therefore wasn't able to catch them. He didn't even think about all the bad germs that could of infected it and didn't even think of who on earth would bother to make something so odd and strange ... but he soon found out.
"Who do I hear nibbling at my house?" came a scratchy, shrieky, high-pitched voice from deep within. The door opened and out came a hideous looking woman.
"Euw! You look disgusting." said the smart-ass kid to the woman.
"Well of course I do. I'm an alien from the planet Pigermania. You think you look pretty to me? It's just what you're used to." The Pigermanian woman walked up to the kid. "Would you like to come inside and eat something decent instead of my ride home?"
The candy house was of course an object made to attract human kiddie winks and it certainly worked. There was actually a story that had been written about one of them but it wasn't very accurate as the poor kid had been probed and had had a lot of awful things done to it and made up a stupid story which it had thought was more believable than aliens but it turned into a bedtime story. How funny is that!
Once inside the "house" the kid opened it's mouth wide. "This place is huge! It looks like a mansion inside. How weird is that?"
"Oh it isn't weird. That's how it's designed it's much more easier than having a ship the size of New York. Opps you don't know about that part of the Earth . . . or that time of the Earth either." The kid and the Pigermanian woman walked for a bit then entered something that looked like a kitchen. "Would you like something to eat?"
The woman opened the oven and reached inside. The kid saw this as his chance to get rid of the woman and moved to knock her inside of the oven, intending to burn her like in the story. "Oh no you don't." said the woman moving out of the way and grabbing the kid's ear before he fell in himself. She dragged him outside, by his ear, and turned him into a tree. The kid screamed a whole lot of awful insults which didn't really help as the Pigermanian women entered her house and blasted off into space.
From then on the kid swore at anyone who would pass near-by until one day a very nice lumberjack cut him down and turned him into part of a very nice house for him and his pet Kangaroo.

The End

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